cal_gui Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I made a post on Tea and Sympathy (that already helped me A LOT) complaining about my life, in general, but I still am seeking help on a particular subject. I'll just copy the short version of the story, if you don't mind I can't get over the girl that rejected me last year. I still catch myself thinking about her and daydreaming with us being together and I have to constantly force myself to snap out of it. We met a year and a half ago, during a special extra course of filmmaking at our school, and we would help each other a lot during the production of our student film. We quickly became friends (which is something kinda unusual to happen to me) and would do tasks together, even when unrelated with our functions at the production, and hang out after school and between classes often, even though we never had a single class together, besides the film extra course. Quite some time passed, and one day I started to realize that developed a need to be together with her, and that by merely being together I would be much happier. I realized that I fell in love with her. So I started to gather my courage to confess my feelings toward her (which was really hard for me), and started to show some (shy) signs of what were my feelings. Yet she started to show signs that she didn't felt the same way and that my brain instantly understood, but my heart was too stubborn to believe. So our friendship became everyday more deteriorated, as I became sorta overly attached, until I eventually told her what were my feelings. And she told me that this wasn't the way she felt. I was devastated. I blew a great friendship that made os both really happy. We tried to work things out and pretend like it never happened, but I was (and am) too ashamed for believing that the world was like a fairy tale, and for destroying the good friendship that we had before. The worst part is that I still love her. I accidentally met her in a exposition a few days ago and, as always, my legs began to tremble, my heartbeat started to race, a smile from ear to ear appeared just by seeing her. The usual greeting in Brazil with people from (generally) a different gender from yours and that are your acquaintances is a hug and a quick kiss in the cheek. And when I did that to greet her the rest of the world ceased to exist, and time itself became slower. She was leaving the exposition with her family, so we only had a small chat, yet this moment was enough to make me feel shaken for the rest of the day. What bothers me is that what still feel for her didn't shorten a bit since last year, so I'm looking for advice on how to move forward (if completely moving forward is even possible). So if you, good people of AVEN, could share your stories on the subject, specially if you are hetero, homo, bi or pan romantic, it would mean a lot to me. Thank you for paying attention, here's a reward cake! Link to post Share on other sites
The_Verse Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I'm not sure what advice I can give but I wanted to post to say I'm sorry and it sucks :( I used to feel this kind of thing a lot in my teens. Everything was so intense and I physically hurt when I had romantic crushes on people that weren't reciprocated. I found that time helped to heal those wounds, which it obviously hasn't for you. Have you tried writing down all of your feelings about it? Sometimes that helps to move the feelings from your brain and away from you. I have found that helped in the past. You might need to write more than once. Maybe keep a specific notebook for thoughts about that particular thing. Try it for a few weeks and if you feel it's therapeutic, carry on. If you feel like it is only making it worse, then stop. Burning the notebook afterwards may also feel good. I really really hope you start to feel better soon. If it helps at all, those intense feelings eased off for me as I hit my 20s. <3 Link to post Share on other sites
cal_gui Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 I'm not sure what advice I can give but I wanted to post to say I'm sorry and it sucks :( Have you tried writing down all of your feelings about it? Sometimes that helps to move the feelings from your brain and away from you I really really hope you start to feel better soon. If it helps at all, those intense feelings eased off for me as I hit my 20s. <3 @The_Verse: Thank you so much for your advice. I've been thinking in doing something like that for a while, now I'm sure I'm going to try it. Your story gave me hope that I'll get over her eventually. Once aging, thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Verse Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I'm not sure what advice I can give but I wanted to post to say I'm sorry and it sucks :( Have you tried writing down all of your feelings about it? Sometimes that helps to move the feelings from your brain and away from you I really really hope you start to feel better soon. If it helps at all, those intense feelings eased off for me as I hit my 20s. <3 @The_Verse: Thank you so much for your advice. I've been thinking in doing something like that for a while, now I'm sure I'm going to try it. Your story gave me hope that I'll get over her eventually. Once aging, thank you. I wish you all best and I'm glad I helped a bit xxx Link to post Share on other sites
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