Am I demisexual or not?

[abbersthenerd]

Okay, so I currently identify as demibisexual, but I'm not 100% sure what the heck I really am. I want to be able to have a label for what I feel, though.

I know I'm panromantic; that's not a question. I know I'm sexually attracted to my best friend, who I have been in love with for six years. I know I enjoy fantasizing about celebrities and fictional characters, but also that I probably wouldn't actually ever do anything with them, even if I had the chance to, unless I was in a relationship with them.

The thing is, I'm not entirely sure I'm demisexual. Sometimes I think I could be bisexual. I only want to have sex with someone I'm romantically attracted to, but there doesn't have to be an emotional connection; I don't have to know them personally. But I also can't look at someone attractive and be like, "oh, they're hot, I'd totally sleep with them." I'm not even sure if I can experience aesthetic attraction without being romantically attracted to someone, honestly.

I feel like my sexual attraction to someone is based on their personality, and if I have a crush on someone, I will eventually develop sexual attraction, whether I know them personally or not.

Basically, I have to be romantically attracted to someone before I develop any other type of attraction to them, including to some extent aesthetic attraction. I can't usually tell if someone's good-looking without knowing their personality. I don't have a "type", because if I am attracted to someone romantically, they're beautiful and sexy to me, no matter what they look like.

IDK what to call it. I mean, I know most demisexual people actually have to know the person they're attracted to, rather than just having a romantic attraction.

[kelico]

Well, we can't tell you for sure if you're demi- or not since you know yourself best, but from what you mentioned you could be. Or possibly gray-asexual? You could be panromantic gray-bisexual (or gray-bi-asexual). It is up to what feels most comfortable to you. Demisexuals usually need to form an emotional bond before feeling sexual attraction, but perhaps for you it is the romantic attraction that falls under emotional bond? I suggest taking a look in the Gray Area of the forum. : ) In the end, it's what feels right to you to identify as, and no one can argue that. Best wishes!

[Star Bit]

Demisexual is having sexual attraction after a certain bond. It is not being ok with sex after a certain bond. I think the term demi-concent should be a term but currently it isn't. Sexual attraction is when someones presence is sexually arousing and then having the impulse/desire to do sexual things to/with that person. Both are needed and alone they do not make it. Asexuals can have sex and even enjoy it, they just don't have the impulse to do it.

I feel like my sexual attraction to someone is based on their personality, and if I have a crush on someone, I will eventually develop sexual attraction, whether I know them personally or not.

Basically, I have to be romantically attracted to someone before I develop any other type of attraction to them, including to some extent aesthetic attraction.

Sounds Demisexual to me.

if I am attracted to someone romantically, they're beautiful and sexy to me, no matter what they look like.

IDK what to call it. I mean, I know most demisexual people actually have to know the person they're attracted to, rather than just having romantic attraction.

Sounds like the romantic attraction talking, not aesthetic attraction; that's a pull to look at someone because of their looks and or mannerisms. Demisexual is about having a bond with someone, but that doesn't necessarily have to be a mutual bond so the term still seems to fit.