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Sexuality confusion


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So I know I'm asexual something romantic however I'm not sure what the something is. My parents being slightly homophobic I can't ask them for help so I look on the Internet and all I find is stuff about sexual attraction. I mean I've dated guys and had male crushes but I find some girls really hot and thought about what it would be like to date or even kiss them. Am I straight? bi? Something else? I'm super confused!

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Confusion 0

I'll admit I've been attracted to other guys before, but I wouldn't ever want to date them. I still consider myself completely heterosexual. I think you'll have to try things out if you want to know what you truly are.

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I'm not sure if kissing is considered romantic or sexual -- I suppose it depends on the kind of kiss.

I'd say you might be biromantic asexual. But I'm no specialist so perhaps you should wait and see what you feel like as your life progresses. Be open to possibilities and listen to yourself and you'll find out sometime c:

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It might help if you consider who it is you have actually been romantically attracted to. Maybe write down their names, then see what their genders are.

Keep in mind that romanticism and sexuality are separate. You seem to be aware of that but I'm just making sure you know, since this sounds to me more like 'romanticism confusion' than 'sexuality confusion' if I'm understanding your post correctly.

I'm sorry you can't talk to your parents and the internet isn't being very helpful. I can't wait for the day when romantic orientations have more visibility and it's something that people really talk about.

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Feeling aesthetic attraction for women does not mean you're romantically attracted to them; there are 6 different types of attractions and they can all be felt separately and in different combinations. Other than romantic attraction; obviously, the following attractions can also be felt platonically.

· Sexual attraction- someone’s presence is sexually arousing and you have a desire/impulse to do sexual things to/with that person. Alone they do not make it. What is sexual strictly involves sexual arousal in any direct or indirect way. Your body may find things sexual/react with arousal, but actions should not be called sexual unless you want them done for the arousal. (So kissing is not sexual by default.)

· Romantic attraction- without the other attractions present and all the variations in intensity and wants and unwants that are possible in a romantic relationship, it's left up to an emotion, and emotions don't translate well into words so it's then left up to your own interpretation if they're platonic, romantic, or queerplatonic (QP). Some people have a physical reaction to the feeling (i.e. butterflies in your stomach, etc,) and others don't. Other threads have tried to put it into words but always came back to it being platonically applicable or too vague. But it at least involves soft/fuzzy feelings and a fixation which can differ in intensity by person.

· Aesthetic attraction- a fixation on someone because of their looks and or mannerisms; having a pull to look at them. It is different from recognizing good looks/what is "aesthetically pleasing" with no fixation. This does not mean a romantic or platonic relationship is desired but attractions can be felt with other attractions.

· Sensual attraction- an urge to have non-sexual physical contact; to cuddle, hold hands, etc. Platonically displaying this more than the norm can qualify as a type of queerplatonic relationship (QPR). This would probably only differ from romantic sensual attraction with chaste kissing and be best compared to the same desired display toward a pet. But this word is typically applied toward other humans.

· Emotional attraction- a fixation on someone because of their emotions; and by extent, personality; how they are stoic, optimistic, etc. I would compare it to admirance or a favorite character. This does not mean a romantic or platonic relationship is desired but attractions can be felt with other attractions.

· Platonic attraction- a strong desire to know or befriend someone (aka a squish; a play on the romantic word crush, but a desire to know someone is also typically felt with romantic attraction). Many Aromantics misinterpreted this as romantic attraction before knowing their orientation. Romantics and Aromantics can have squishes.

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