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Different Dysphorias


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1 minute ago, Jayce said:

If i can give you a small tip: I just ended up buying men's clothes at the street market for that reason. I think it's just something you have to overcome and you can only do that by doing it! now i can just buy men's clothes and shrug off the stares.Not that i can get myself to buy men's underwear but at least i can score pants and hoodies

I have bought female underwear in the supermarket (self scaning is a great thing) 

I am talking about online stores by the way.

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butterflydreams
9 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

I have to learn to not look at woman clothing because there is no chance that i will never look like that. And that just makes me really sad.

I know the feeling, but I promise, it's not true. Give yourself time, try things out in small pieces. You might not end up looking like "that" but you will find that you look like yourself, in the truest sense of the word. *hugs*

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42 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

I know the feeling, but I promise, it's not true. Give yourself time, try things out in small pieces. You might not end up looking like "that" but you will find that you look like yourself, in the truest sense of the word. *hugs*

Aww you are just so sweet, thank you:)

 

And maybe someday i will go outside "like myself" and that would be awesome.

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nerdperson777
16 hours ago, Jayce said:

men's underwear

For those who have tried other underwear, I'm not sure if anyone has the same thought as me. After wearing briefs for so long, something just feels weird if I wear anything else. I've only tried boxer briefs so far. "Free" feels good and weird at the same time so it has a good and bad feeling? I was originally afraid of body stuff falling out of the leg holes. Now I'm okay with both? But there are some days that I prefer one kind over the other and I can only wear briefs at certain times. 

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ChillaKilla

I can't stand boxers tbh... They're too loose and get all bunchy, and briefs ride up.

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13 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

For those who have tried other underwear, I'm not sure if anyone has the same thought as me. After wearing briefs for so long, something just feels weird if I wear anything else. I've only tried boxer briefs so far. "Free" feels good and weird at the same time so it has a good and bad feeling? I was originally afraid of body stuff falling out of the leg holes. Now I'm okay with both? But there are some days that I prefer one kind over the other and I can only wear briefs at certain times. 

I can't wear briefs, they're always A too small or B just get stuck in your butt and i hate that feeling as mine is a bit huge XD so I always buy boxers. I wanted to try men's boxers but i don't know if they are as comfortable as the female ones. I do have a few pair of briefs but i barely wear them.

 

Hey, so, eh i was checking the binder section of a local online store and I was thinking about this one  as it's cheap and looks good to me. (Tiny tmi warning on the page as they also got STP packers on them) One thing that bugs me is that it's a tank top and i wonder if it's doable to have that on in summer? It's going to be summer and i don't want to end up being all sweatty and stuff. there is also this  but i'm not sure if that's going to work as it might look a bit uncomfortable..Also, wich one is the best in your opinion????? Sorry! idk if this is the right place to ask anyway but hey, I figured i could just ask while i'm at it, right?

 

Edit: Why am i posting this in the dysphoria thread???????

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My dysphoria is literally interfering with my life right now.

 

In order to get the sewing of my prom dress started I was told that I have to go buy myself a "nice" bra, whatever that means. Of course, I couldn't face going and doing this on my own, so I had to wait for my best friend's schedule to get freed up so that we could go together. As a result, I've finally done it, exactly a month before my prom and I have to have my fingers crossed that my dress actually gets made on time. (Also, it turns out I'm a C cup. Wth???)

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nerdperson777
7 hours ago, Jayce said:

I can't wear briefs, they're always A too small or B just get stuck in your butt and i hate that feeling as mine is a bit huge XD so I always buy boxers. I wanted to try men's boxers but i don't know if they are as comfortable as the female ones. I do have a few pair of briefs but i barely wear them.

 

Hey, so, eh i was checking the binder section of a local online store and I was thinking about this one  as it's cheap and looks good to me. (Tiny tmi warning on the page as they also got STP packers on them) One thing that bugs me is that it's a tank top and i wonder if it's doable to have that on in summer? It's going to be summer and i don't want to end up being all sweatty and stuff. there is also this  but i'm not sure if that's going to work as it might look a bit uncomfortable..Also, wich one is the best in your opinion????? Sorry! idk if this is the right place to ask anyway but hey, I figured i could just ask while i'm at it, right?

 

Edit: Why am i posting this in the dysphoria thread???????

Because of things we have to do to get our desired body characteristics.  Recently I've been thinking that my butt's too big because I've been having too much self-care milk tea. :ph34r: I guess I got used to briefs after a while so it was weird switching.

 

As for the binder, I think the first one looks good.  The second one looks rather dysphoric to me, so I personally would never choose to have that style.  I bought a tank style binder from Amazon that looks like a classic tank rather than razorback, or whatever it's called.  So first one looks better and is cheaper! :D

 

3 hours ago, Light02 said:

My dysphoria is literally interfering with my life right now.

 

In order to get the sewing of my prom dress started I was told that I have to go buy myself a "nice" bra, whatever that means. Of course, I couldn't face going and doing this on my own, so I had to wait for my best friend's schedule to get freed up so that we could go together. As a result, I've finally done it, exactly a month before my prom and I have to have my fingers crossed that my dress actually gets made on time. (Also, it turns out I'm a C cup. Wth???)

Sorry if you wrote a post on this previously but are you actually forced to wear a dress at prom?  If it causes you dysphoria, isn't there a way to make it less dysphoric or not even a dress?

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1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said:

Because of things we have to do to get our desired body characteristics.  Recently I've been thinking that my butt's too big because I've been having too much self-care milk tea. :ph34r: I guess I got used to briefs after a while so it was weird switching.

 

As for the binder, I think the first one looks good.  The second one looks rather dysphoric to me, so I personally would never choose to have that style.  I bought a tank style binder from Amazon that looks like a classic tank rather than razorback, or whatever it's called.  So first one looks better and is cheaper! :D

 

Sorry if you wrote a post on this previously but are you actually forced to wear a dress at prom?  If it causes you dysphoria, isn't there a way to make it less dysphoric or not even a dress?

Eh, it's kind of complicated. I'm not usually made dysphoric about wearing dresses but wearing them in a social setting as a form of dress code does tend to make me rather uncomfortable. I suspect this is because at events such as weddings and proms all the women have to have dresses on and all the men have to be in suits. In a way, it feels like you "mark" yourself as belonging to one or the other gender based on what you choose to wear. So in those types of situations, if I had a say in the matter, I'd prefer being in a suit. Unfortunately, I do not, as neither one of my parents would ever support my decision to wear a suit and my father would actively try to stop me from doing so by all means necessary. I am currently in the closet to both of my parents and I'd like to remain that way at least for a while longer. All of my friends that I am out to wouldn't try to stop me from wearing a suit but they wouldn't be thrilled about it and they wouldn't support me or help me in any way, most likely.

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All this talk about dresses i wished i could  wear a dress and fill it out and go outside with out anyone looking funny att me.

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SamwiseLovesLife
4 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

All this talk about dresses i wished i could  wear a dress and fill it out and go outside with out anyone looking funny att me.

(please don't take this in the wrong way, I understand the difference between being Trans and drag) xx Maybe you could watch some tutorials from drag queens or other trans/female identifying folk? I know it's not the same and won't give you everything you want but there might be a way for you to try that once or twice xx

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26 minutes ago, SamwiseLovesLife said:

(please don't take this in the wrong way, I understand the difference between being Trans and drag) xx Maybe you could watch some tutorials from drag queens or other trans/female identifying folk? I know it's not the same and won't give you everything you want but there might be a way for you to try that once or twice xx

Its okay :)what i mean is not really about the dress but more the "fill it out" part. I don´t know how to discribe it really actually.

It the feeling of waking up in the morning and feel like today I should ware a dress to work. ( why I should ware a dress when I work at a warehouse I don't know). Like it was like any other type of clothing. To be seen as any other women or feminine person.

 

I have looked at some crossdressing tutorials that have helped me with some parts.

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SamwiseLovesLife
38 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

It the feeling of waking up in the morning and feel like today I should ware a dress to work. ( why I should ware a dress when I work at a warehouse I don't know). Like it was like any other type of clothing. To be seen as any other women or feminine person.

I can't wait for the future time when this is just okay in the world. When there are dresses shaped for people with less feminine bodies, just as pretty and lovely. When no one would look twice. This is going to be an amazing world <3

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11 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

Because of things we have to do to get our desired body characteristics.  Recently I've been thinking that my butt's too big because I've been having too much self-care milk tea. :ph34r: I guess I got used to briefs after a while so it was weird switching.

 

As for the binder, I think the first one looks good.  The second one looks rather dysphoric to me, so I personally would never choose to have that style.  I bought a tank style binder from Amazon that looks like a classic tank rather than razorback, or whatever it's called.  So first one looks better and is cheaper! :D

I was thinking about the first binder too, a tank top is quite easy for me to wear plus i saw that they have free shipping within the country too :D  I wasn't all too sure about the second one because that just seems to be a bit uncomfortable. (I think i've got such a thing somewhere from when i was in the hospital) Yeah, this one is 29 euro's and should be affordable too!

 

As for dresses: I have a love-hate relationship with them but when i went to my first prom i just wore a white evening dress with print (I think it was a tiger???) and a black fishnet long sleeved jacket ontop to cover anything up and i had this cute little backpack as a purse too! I also wore sneakers instead of heels, got alot of laughter as i came in but soon they were all super jealous because i was the only one who didn't have sore feet :P   my classmates were all jealous of my awesome outfit with awesome white sneakers under it! I think they would ban me from the prom nowadays as i didn't really fit the dress code anyway.

 

Edit: Youtube has awesome tutorials for make up and clothes to wear, I watch them on a regular base to get inspiration!

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@Jayce That outfit sound awesome both cute and really cool.

I have never been to School prom. You had to go as a couple and things like that plus i was not really intrested.

 

And goodluck with the binder.:) Even do i want to do the complete opposite but that is a given right?:P

 

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nerdperson777

@Kimmie. I heard some trans women talking about how hard it is just to have a waist that is smaller than hips.  That's what came to mind when you were talking about "filling out".  It was kind of news to me that the probability of getting even a rectangle shape was pretty low.  I thought there would be more small AMAB people in the world that had those qualities.  I think I'm rambling my thoughts now so I'll stop.

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2 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

@Kimmie. I heard some trans women talking about how hard it is just to have a waist that is smaller than hips.  That's what came to mind when you were talking about "filling out".  It was kind of news to me that the probability of getting even a rectangle shape was pretty low.  I thought there would be more small AMAB people in the world that had those qualities.  I think I'm rambling my thoughts now so I'll stop.

Yeah it is that i thinking about the waist,hips,butt and chest thing. What i wished that i had those shapes.

 

But go ahead with your rambling i like to hear other peoples thoughts to.

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@Kimmie.  have you ever thought about trying something like This  or this?  They say it's good to create the shapes you want, they also sell implants and stuff, not saying buy it!!! but i'm just using them as examples.

 

Yeah, I guess i just went because i thought it was normal to go to a prom like that. Heehee :D  yeah, sometimes i want them to be there and sometimes i just want them flat! I tell you, my gender is like the weather! it changes every day

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Jayce said:

@Kimmie.  have you ever thought about trying something like This  or this?  They say it's good to create the shapes you want, they also sell implants and stuff, not saying buy it!!! but i'm just using them as examples.

 

Yeah, I guess i just went because i thought it was normal to go to a prom like that. Heehee :D  yeah, sometimes i want them to be there and sometimes i just want them flat! I tell you, my gender is like the weather! it changes every day

 

 

Thanks for the tips:) i actually have this on its way probably today:

https://www.zalando.se/magic-bodyfashion-shapewear-black-mq581c004-q11.html (i know it is for woman but yeah)

There seems to be enough space there for padding. and i already have one for the waist.

 

But those you linked to was WAY cheaper then the mtf things i have found before.

 

About prom nowdays it would be almost impossible to but me in a suit. Just no thanks to that.

 

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butterflydreams

I'm kind of against using any kind of padding, at least at first, for trans feminine people. The reason is because it's really easy to overdo it. A better suggestion I offer is to use the clothes themselves to work in your favor. One way you can do this is by creating lines in the right places and choosing the right cuts of things like skirts and dresses (a-line = friend, pencil = enemy...for example). Basically I think subtler is better when it comes to curves. If you're wearing flattering cuts of clothing, people will just kind of mentally fill in the blanks. And you will too. Good luck! I'm excited to hear how this new clothing shipment works out for you.

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9 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

I'm kind of against using any kind of padding, at least at first, for trans feminine people. The reason is because it's really easy to overdo it. A better suggestion I offer is to use the clothes themselves to work in your favor. One way you can do this is by creating lines in the right places and choosing the right cuts of things like skirts and dresses (a-line = friend, pencil = enemy...for example). Basically I think subtler is better when it comes to curves. If you're wearing flattering cuts of clothing, people will just kind of mentally fill in the blanks. And you will too. Good luck! I'm excited to hear how this new clothing shipment works out for you.

Okay thanks for the tips and i kind see that, that could easily be a problem. Thanks for the heads up. I do everything privately so far will see when or if i will do anything outside.

 

I will probably post some pics sometime this weekend.:)

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4 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

about the waist,hips,butt and chest thing. What i wished that i had those shapes.

Hi, Kimmie. Something to keep in mind is that there are dress styles that many women can't wear because they almost demand a smaller chest in order to look right. I read an article recently about someone complaining that dresses are seemingly designed for male bodies all too often. I know I've found many cute outfits, put them on, and nearly cried (more like a frustrated sigh) because the style gets all distorted by the shape of my body. (Gathered bodice sundresses for example.) Your body, as it is, has benefits and I'm sure you can come up with a feminine style that suits you. 

Another outfit I can't wear that you could:
 

Spoiler

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20 minutes ago, Ix Phoen said:

Hi, Kimmie. Something to keep in mind is that there are dress styles that many women can't wear because they almost demand a smaller chest in order to look right. I read an article recently about someone complaining that dresses are seemingly designed for male bodies all too often. I know I've found many cute outfits, put them on, and nearly cried (more like a frustrated sigh) because the style gets all distorted by the shape of my body. (Gathered bodice sundresses for example.) Your body, as it is, has benefits and I'm sure you can come up with a feminine style that suits you. 

Another outfit I can't wear that you could:
 

  Reveal hidden contents

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I am sorry if i caused any type of distress that was not my intention at all:( I am really sorry. 

 

The second one looks really cute though.

Yet again the clothes are not really the big thing for me it is the body. If i had a female body(i can atleast dream) my clothing style would probably not change that much to what i wear know. Just instead of some random jeans i could wear a skirt and a pair of leggins. Or a more tight jeans. And i would probably have the courage the wear tanktop or similar instead of just t-shirts.

 

And again i am really sorry.

 

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Dodecahedron314
On 4/27/2017 at 1:09 PM, SamwiseLovesLife said:

I can't wait for the future time when this is just okay in the world. When there are dresses shaped for people with less feminine bodies, just as pretty and lovely. When no one would look twice. This is going to be an amazing world <3

To be honest, if the whole academia thing doesn't work out, I might just get fed up enough with certain types of clothing only being made for certain kinds of bodies that I'll just support myself by making clothes like this, as well as things like suits made for people with less "masculine" bodies that still don't try to look "feminine". Everybody deserves to be able to look how they want, no matter if they're cis or trans or just have an unusual body shape* or whatever.

 

(*Perhaps that'll be the ultimate test of my clothes-making skills--if I can ever manage to make a pair of jeans that actually fit my wonkily-proportioned self.)

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The-world-is-quiet-here

Does anyone else get that thing where it feels like nothing is right? I don't feel feminine or female, but I don't feel masculine or male. Not even they pronouns feel right. Everything feels a little bit off. When I described it to my therapist, she called it "nebulous", which I thought was a good description. 

I just wish I felt better, both about this (dysphoria?) and in general. :mellow:

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15 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

I am sorry if i caused any type of distress

Oh, you didn't. I don't have dysphoria over this, just ... sometimes I don't get to wear clothes I like. I get over it by finding something else I like equally well. It's not nearly as painful as what you're dealing with. 

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19 hours ago, Skye2870 said:

If only we could all just swap bodies if we wanted! That would be a rather good option :D

I second this!!!

 

15 hours ago, The-world-is-quiet-here said:

Does anyone else get that thing where it feels like nothing is right? I don't feel feminine or female, but I don't feel masculine or male. Not even they pronouns feel right. Everything feels a little bit off. When I described it to my therapist, she called it "nebulous", which I thought was a good description. 

I just wish I felt better, both about this (dysphoria?) and in general. :mellow:

I can relate, there are days where i feel feminine-ish and then i just end up feeling absolutly nothing, sometimes i feel a wee bit masculine but same happens when i feel feminine-ish. I'm indifferent about the they pronouns reason why i prefer he/him because i have a love-hate relationship with she/her pronouns.hmmm nebulous...might be a thing but i don't really have an eureka feeling with it. Yeah, dysphoria sucks alot. I can write a book about it.

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Mmh I might just start taking a shower wearing a sports bra. Like, today in the shower i couldn't stand my boobs. It was worse than usual. Or has anybody else idea how to deal with my top dysphoria in the shower?

 

Ugh I just want my boobs goooooone

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<No longer active>

a thin t-shirt maybe? or the top half of a tankini swimming costume? I just tend to not look down when it gets bad... Idk I only really see my boobs as gendered when I'm wearing clothes. I don't gender my body, clothes do... (just had that epiphany)

1 hour ago, Finn. said:

Ugh I just want my boobs goooooone

XD i feel your pain, buddy

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