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Different Dysphorias


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clarinet2531

I'm AFAB and I hate makeup and fingernail polish because it feels too feminine, but for some strange reason I don't really feel that dysphoric about my body.

Anyways, I am still trying to figure out my gender identity because I don't want to be a male, but at the same time I really do. This has been really confusing :)

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ArbiterHeart

I think I may experience a little bit of chest dysphoria. I worry often about my chest increasing in size for example, so I prefer hiding them as much as I can with sports bras and loose shirts. Still, my dysphoria isn't debilitating to want top surgery, since I still have some connection to womanhood. I would very much rather have a more androgynous body.

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The Paracosmist

I'm non-binary AFAB, and in a system, so i/ we have felt alot of dysphoria.

 

Dysphoria I (as host) had:

From what I've found myself, I don't like the feminine features in my body. For example, I have, one of the 'ideal bodies', but I hate it. I hate having such a curvy body, I hate when ppl touch my waist, I hate that when I undress that I have to remember the body I have. 

 

On the topic of ideal bodies, when I have heard other ppl talk about it they r like, being taller ect. But for me its, no titties and no reproductive system, thats because I am ace and I have no intention of getting pregnant. 

 

Another thing that isn't talked about as much is facial dysphoria/ dysmorphia ect. I have struggled with it for a while. Its hating the way your face looks and sometimes to the point where you don't look in the mirror/wear a mask. I think one of the things about it was  the fact i had big eyes witch made be look babyish(thats apparently attractive, like baby features seriously? 🤮🤮🤮).

 

Dysphoria in other alters:

Dysphoria in other alters is  interesting because it mostly comes from them looking totally different from the body. So Dysphoria in that sense can be anything from height difference to the way we dress.

 

It also varies too between alters, for example: one alter really liked wearing a shirt and tie but another alter needed to keep the top button undone and hated the feeling of ties. 

 

The level of dysphoria can be different as well, like there was an alter who had terrible dysphoria, and hated when they weren't in 'their clothes'. Another interesting thing is that a lot of the time an alter may not realise that they look like the body and think they look like themselves, which also means they r sometimes jumpscared by their own reflection lol.

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Almost_something

I'm sad I'm starting to feel dysphoric about my hips. That had never happened before. 

 

I'm also not sure anymore what kind of body I would want to achieve. Like, I don't know what can I do to feel more comfortable in it. Idk if I want hormones but I don't want to look like a woman... nor like a man. I don't to look like anything at all rn and that's kind of sad.

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I'm so tired of being misgendered. And I'm really tired of cis people telling me I need to just "stop being bothered by it" as if I have a choice. Gender dysphoria is really hard to alleviate as a genderfluid person. Does anyone else find that one of the worst kinds of misgendering is when a loved one misgenders you in front of a new person? I feel like it gives the new person permission to misgender me too. It somehow feels worse than regular misgendering, like the person you love is unknowingly opening the door for more people to misgender you.

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a little annihilation
1 minute ago, DarkTeaTime said:

Does anyone else find that one of the worst kinds of misgendering is when a loved one misgenders you in front of a new person? I feel like it gives the new person permission to misgender me too. It somehow feels worse than regular misgendering, like the person you love is unknowingly opening the door for more people to misgender you.

absofuckinglutely. it's so much worse than being misgendered by a stranger.

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16 minutes ago, ilikethefallingapart said:

absofuckinglutely. it's so much worse than being misgendered by a stranger.

Ok, thank god it's not just me. Like I'll just be minding my own business and then I'm slapped in the face with the reality that even people who care about me don't see me as I know myself to be. It just feels like garbage, and having the response of  basically "you need to grow a thicker skin" is like an extra slap in the face. I wish people would get that if they're cis, they just won't understand the experience and leave it be.

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the worst kind of misgendering I experienced was when they look horrified to find out you're no the woman they assumed you were

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or when I threw on a dress for the first time ever and go down stairs for a snack late at night and my mom literally yelps in suprise 

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although I don't have "loved ones" in my irl life. and if they misgendered me they usually realize and correct it. so idk maybe that is worse for me but I wouldn't know. it's just that those two cases haunt me forever.

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On 11/10/2021 at 9:42 PM, A User said:

why are bras shaped so... femininely? Their shape is just awful, too painful to see myself in. They should make it more masculine of that makes sense, would really help

What about sportsbras?

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Exoplanetarian
21 hours ago, Acing It said:

What about sportsbras?

I've just went from sports bras to actual binders and although it's not doing anything more or less tbh, it's much more comfortable. Idk if it helps but I was so happy about the reduced discomfort that I feel like I should say that to safe people time? maybe that's misguided, sorry 

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AstrophelDragon
On 8/30/2023 at 12:31 PM, DarkTeaTime said:

Gender dysphoria is really hard to alleviate as a genderfluid person.

Yes it is

On 8/30/2023 at 12:31 PM, DarkTeaTime said:

Does anyone else find that one of the worst kinds of misgendering is when a loved one misgenders you in front of a new person?

And yes

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18 hours ago, AstrophelDragon said:
On 8/30/2023 at 6:31 PM, DarkTeaTime said:

Does anyone else find that one of the worst kinds of misgendering is when a loved one misgenders you in front of a new person?

And yes

Happy it's not just me that feels that way, but also sad that so many other people are struggling with it too. It just happened again right when I woke up and was making breakfast. Trying to find ways to let it not bother me as much but it's really hard not to feel like shit when it happens.

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On 8/30/2023 at 10:39 PM, binary suns said:

the worst kind of misgendering I experienced was when they look horrified to find out you're no the woman they assumed you were

Yeah that's pretty shitty.
 

On 8/30/2023 at 10:40 PM, binary suns said:

or when I threw on a dress for the first time ever and go down stairs for a snack late at night and my mom literally yelps in suprise 

Yelps in surprise?? That's such a weird response, what's so strange about a person in a dress? The things that freak people out are so stupid sometimes, I don't understand it.

 

On 8/30/2023 at 10:43 PM, binary suns said:

although I don't have "loved ones" in my irl life. and if they misgendered me they usually realize and correct it. so idk maybe that is worse for me but I wouldn't know. it's just that those two cases haunt me forever.

It definitely bothers me less if someone catches it and correct themselves, cause then it at least feels like they're trying. I understand, that would haunt me too. The one that's currently haunting me still is I got hit with ableism and transphobia at the same time the other day. Double whammy of bullshittery.

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my solution to loved ones not treating me right is to not love them. hmmmmm....

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  • 1 month later...
dragons_and_cake

I’m agender (AFAB), and I’m pretty sure I experience social dysphoria and gender dysphoria, although my gender dysphoria is not as strong as my social dysphoria. I really like the way my chest looks flat while I’m wearing a binder, but otherwise, I don’t really notice my breasts that much. Sometimes I get uncomfortable with having two flesh lumps on my chest that people (mainly men) will stare at and sexualize, but I feel like I experience more gender euphoria than gender dysphoria, to be honest. I absolutely despise my period (pads and cramps are really uncomfortable), although I suppose any person who gets a period isn’t that fond of those things either. However, my social dysphoria can get pretty bad sometimes. Part of it is the scary and sad reality of living in a world where AFAB people or feminine-presenting people are often harassed or assaulted by men. I’m really scared of that happening to me. Another part is hating being seen as a “girl”. I hate that people think I’m “pretty” or “cute” or “delicate” just because I’m AFAB. In terms of pronouns, I guess I’m pretty neutral? Having people use they/them pronouns for me makes me happy because it means they’re respecting my pronouns and they respect me. She/her pronouns don’t, like, physically pain me or anything, they just feel wrong. It’s like having a tag in the collar of my shirt; I can ignore it if I want, and it’s not really hurting me physically, but it’s really annoying and I would feel better without the tag. So…yeah. That’s about it.

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I generally don't feel a lot of dysphoria, which is why I tend to feel more agender/non-binary but for whatever reason, I'm feeling more dysphoria than usual (by dysphoria, I mean feeling the opposite gender to me agab). Mostly I disassociate to a gender but I'm not sure why  currently I feel more towards trans than usual.

 

 

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A lot of my gender dysphoria is frustrating..

 

My top dysphoria varies from day to day, sometimes I don’t feel anything here and some days I feel phantom breasts, and it’s a weird feeling..

 

My facial hair grows at an extremely quick rate. I can do a close shave in the morning and feel my hair back by lunch time, and it’s frustrating. I can’t wait for the day when I can get laser

 

and then my face and the rest of my hair… and my hips… and other stuff…

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On 4/1/2023 at 1:30 PM, clarinet2531 said:

I'm AFAB and I hate makeup and fingernail polish because it feels too feminine, but for some strange reason I don't really feel that dysphoric about my body.

Anyways, I am still trying to figure out my gender identity because I don't want to be a male, but at the same time I really do. This has been really confusing :)

Hey! I'm several months late to reply lol, but I feel exactly the same way. I remember trying on nail polish as a kid and disliking it because it felt "too fancy", then trying it again more recently and feeling uncomfortably feminine. The same with makeup and feminine clothing, makes me feel like a stranger to myself. My issues with my body, on the other hand, have always stemmed from weight-related dysmorphia rather than gender dysphoria. I definitely dislike my boobs, but that's more because they make shirts look awkward lol. 

I would love to look like a man and have a beard, but I don't want to transition. I just wish I had been born male. I don't exactly want to be perceived as a man, either-- though I wouldn't mind it, it would not be me. Honestly, my ideal body would be that of a man with longer hair and more androgynous features. 

 

Gender, am I right

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AMAB agender here with a lot of stuff with a lot of stuff on my mind at the moment.

 

I don't generally have any problems with dysphoria on a day to day basis. I don't mind being seen as a man and what few issues I do have with my body aren't a problem. I'm not too keen on my voice because it's droning and mumbly and I won't mind either having a higher or lower voice as long as it sounds nice and clear. I don't want breasts because they would be too feminine for me, would make me feel dysphoric and I wouldn't be able to sit still without trying to play around with them and make them disappear inside me. My chest is big enough as it is. I'm not a big fan of long hair but that's more down to the fact that I would have to spend more time looking after it. I wouldn't mind if I looked more androgynous or had slightly bigger hips but apart from that the only things I would change about my body would be health related stuff (not having random itches, stiff back and all the other things that happen when you get old!)

 

And now we come to genitals. Cw masturbation talk.

Spoiler

I have a penis. The old cock and balls. Nothing wrong with them. Until we get to sex. That's when things start to get weird. I've had sex with a woman before, thought it was ok, nothing special but that's in the past. I usually masturbate about once a month and I kinda dread it every time. I only do it because of libido reasons and not out of any desire to climax. I hated it because it felt awful and kinda pointless because I had to put a lot of effort into getting myself erect, finding a tissue or old rag to catch the mess, rubbing my penis up and down until I cum and then I get a happy-ish feeling for a second or two before it wears off and I have to clean up and feel grumpy for the rest of the day.

 

But recently I did something different. Rather than trying to get it up, I tried pushing it down into me and imagining myself as a woman, using just my hand to rub myself. When I came I kinda enjoyed it? That wet feeling between my legs and and the idea that I didn't have a penis felt good. Just an sensitive area that I could push with the right amount of pressure to relieve myself. So now I'm wondering do I have the wrong kind of genitals to enjoy sex? If I had been born with a vagina would I even be asexual? If this is some kind of bottom dysphoria it only becomes a problem when I'm horny.

I must admit that the idea of being penetrated is more exciting to me than penetrating someone else but it's not something I would seek out in reality.

I think it's a good thing that I am asexual and put sex on very bottom of my priorities because otherwise if I was allosexual I might possibly be temped to get bottom surgery and transition to enjoy sex more.

 

As it stands I have no desire to do that. I have no connection to that kind of femininity and it wouldn't be worth the trouble to go through all the hoops just to possibly enjoy a wank a bit more. And besides I find the ability to pee standing up to be much much more appealing!

 

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39 minutes ago, Typhoon said:

talk

The way you describe it about pushing down is basically the way I have always done it. No one taught me that, and I didn't know there was any other way to do it for someone with an "outie" until sometime well into my adulthood. I could never get that more usual way to work for me.

 

On a separate note, I'm not sure if it counts as dysphoria, but some days I have a strong desire to look and feel feminine, even "girly". Sometimes just because it feels good, and sometimes almost as an act of defiance against people who say guys shouldn't do stuff like that. Or both out of desire and defiance. :P  I don't know why it feels good to me or why it's something I want to do/like to do. I couldn't explain to myself, much less anyone else, what the cause or source of that feeling/desire is. I just know it's something I have felt as far back as I can remember (at least as early as early elementary school age).

Spoiler

I also remember when I was really young and had learned how to use a toilet, and I was sitting on the toilet and realized I liked how it looked when I closed my legs and didn't see anything between them.

 

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So I’ll be 3 months on HRT as of Friday (yay!), and I have been slowly coming out to people(mostly yay) as well.

 

However, I’m not out at work, and I have been putting off the idea for a while. Problem is, my work is very client-focused. Case in point, I just got home from a 3 day workshop we put on for regulatory compliance. I’m pretty good at public speaking, but when my manager and so one talks about how I’m doing, it feels like I’m burning in this masculine image of myself, not just in them, but in my own mind as well.

 

I do this thing where I imagine conversations with other people or that other people are having about me, and essentially when I’m thinking of work, I’m having everyone gender me male/use my name I use at work. This caused me to go into a bit of a spiral where I was like, if I can’t even gender myself correctly in my own mind, how am I ever going to actually live as a woman? Feeling pretty shitty about it today.

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Almost_something

I want to look more masc so I can let my hair grow again. I like the idea of long hair, but no way people would see me as trans. 

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Last week our office was closed for inclement weather, so I was working from home all week. Today I’m back in the office wearing masc business casual and it’s miserable. Next week I have business travel. I want to just come out and be done with this, but I’m very insecure about hair since I have to use wigs, and I’m not sure what this is going to mean for my job, or how I’ll find another job, as I don’t have a high demand skill set or anything.

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arco_iris

I love talking about my dysphoria, even though I hate having it T-T

 

Anyways! Kinds of dysphoria I have: chest dysphoria, occasional voice dysphoria, constant social dysphoria

 

Chest dysphoria: as an AFAB agender person, I hate my chest, but only under specific circumstances. I only feel chest dysphoria when I'm in a situation where people can look at me for the first time and categorize me as a girl because of my chest. At home, I don't feel dysphoric about my chest at all, because my family already knows I'm AFAB. They can't categorize me as a girl for the first time. The first time has already passed. At school, or on the street, where I pass new people every day, I start getting dysphoric. 

 

Voice dysphoria: Rarely happens, and when it does, it's in chorus. I'm a tenor, so I already have a naturally low voice, considering I'm AFAB, but I have the least-low tenor voice in the tenor section. When we hit notes at the top of our range, my voice clearly sounds like a girl's while everyone else's sounds like a boy's. 

 

Social dysphoria: It feels like I can never escape it sometimes. No matter how hard I try to pass, people call me "miss" "ma'am" "girl" etc. and use she/her pronouns for me. I hate knowing that people look at me and see a girl, even when I try really hard to hide my chest and look like a boy. At school, it's a little mor manageable, because even if classmates misgender me, my friends don't. At home and gymnastics, though, it isn't, because I'm not out to anyone in those environments. 

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soong_type_freak

i don't always have dysphoria but it hits immediately when i'm called by any feminine word.

when i experience dysphoria, it's mostly social one. chest, height and voice dyshoria are here as well.

 

welp.. do ppl get dysphoric about their shoe size? i have 36 euro size (5.5 us size) and it bothers me cuz i sometimes can't find any masculine shoes of my size.

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Almost_something

I feel a lot of impostor syndrome about being trans. I'm always afraid I'm taking the spotlight and that someday I'll realize this was just a teenage phase or something. 

 

But then, there are days like today, when I had to confirm that I'm alive to the healthcare system, so I can keep receiving my medication, and they ask me how do I declare myself as for my gender. 

 

It hurts so much to declare myself as a woman. The worst part is that I don't even know if I needed. Legally speaking, I don't know if I can say I'm trans in a health document. I cried right there and then.

 

At least, today I know for sure I'm trans lol. I don't think cis people would almost panic just to declare themselves 

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CallMeEmOrCallMeElla

I'm legit fine being female (even though I'd rather be viewed as enby or a demigirl), but then you get to Boobs. On others, ok, yeah, they hot, let's move on. On myself, however, I want them to perish in excruciating agony. Just kidding. Kinda. Anywayssss, I hate my tits, and yet I was "Blessed" with these 32DD mfs. I kinda want a binder, but I would have to come out to my parents in order to get one butttttt;

1. I just...Can't. Not homophobia or anything, I just am not ready.

2. I don't know what the actual f I am

Soooo yeah, that's me, lol, bye y'all

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