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Defining me


okidoki

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I have never experienced attraction to men until I have gotten to know them for a while. Usually and often, this means that they have become good friends. This usually makes things more complicated as I get confused with my feelings. It also means at this point, I am in the friendzone. I've always thought that there was something wrong with me. I am so glad that I found this site. So far from my reading, I think I am a demisexual on the sexual spectrum.

My question is, as a demisexual do you find that you have problems with finding a partner? Do you feel that once you've opened up and told those who are interested in you, that you identify as a demisexual that many give up? Because your feelings of attraction and when they develop can vary in time and usually they can't wait? I know if that person was truly interested in you, then they would be patient and learn about you... But I mean lets be real people are impatient and usually can't wait that long, especially since attraction may never develop.

I am just interested in hearing your experiences and thoughts.

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I am new, I just noticed that perhaps this should go under a different forum. Sorry if I've posted incorrectly. Thanks for reading. :)

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Confusion 0

What you have described sounds very much like demiromanticism. If you begin to feel sexual attraction at roughly the same time, then that does also make you demisexual.

Oh, and welcome to AVEN by the way :D :cake:

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Thank you Confusion. I am still learning about demisexual and the gray-a thing. I have learned that the term Heteroromantic Demiheterosexual further describes me as well. Thanks!!!!!!!! :cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake:

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Hi and welcome to AVEN! You can post your first question as an intro here...or the Welcome Lounge mod can move it. Either way, I just want to say, this is a great place to continue learning more about yourself and others too. I'm glad you joined and hope you love being part of this amazing community!!! :)

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CosineTheCat

I agree with Lady Girl, it'f perfectly find to ask your question here, but I think you'll get more answer if I move it to a different area :) Welcome as well! Because I don't identify as demisexual I have a hard time answering your question from my prospective, but what I do know is that if you have someone who is interested they'll take the time to learn about you. Everyone is different :)

With that,

Moving to Asexual Relationships

CosineTheCat

Welcome Lounge

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Thank you for moving my post :) I am so happy that I have found a community online where I feel so welcomed and belong. I always thought I was off and did not have the same feelings when it came to sexual relations then other people. It feels nice to know I'm not alone. 💙💚💛💜

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It definitely sounds like you could also look into demiromantic to help describe yourself.

Holy crap, I just got hit by something! Reading your post! I think I might be demiromantic, too! I just realised I never had crushes on people until after I had made friends with them except for maybe on 1 or 2 occasions. :o

Anywho, back to you - I don't believe you would HAVE to tell someone about your demisexuality straight away. Make friends, hang out, go on a few dates and then see if any attraction develops. It's kind of like how sexuals date. If you think you might want to pursue the relationship, then maybe explain it a little bit. I wasn't aware I was on the asexuality spectrum when I started dating my partner but I remember saying "I don't want to announce our relationship yet because I still don't know how I feel." Maybe that could work.

Anywa, welcome to the AVEN forums! :)

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