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Member91460

Hello all,

Let me start with a little about myself. I'm a 20 year old male. I'm a sports enthusiast, love swimming & other "beachy" things now I'm basically a collage bumb. Your probably wondering how that's relivant & I'll get to that later. Growin up in a beach environment I always had a lot of skin around me, it never bothers me, it still doesn't. I grew up with the ability to see beauty in people but never wanting to act on it. Even at times when I was with a girl really liked, I was unable to actually get myself to do it. Always coming up with an excuse ( gotta go workout, ride my bike, go to work ect.) and every time I would suceed in backing out of sex, I would get extremely gitty after the fact, like I won a prize that I was able to avoid it another day.

As I grew older & showed no interest in the other sex my parents started to wonder about my sexuality. To be honest so did I for a time. But the problem presided regardless of sex, but before I had only heard about plants being asexual never humans, especially physically fit young males, that otherwise wouldn't have a hard time getting someone to hangout with, I just dont want to. As I grew up; for a moment in time I was positive I was gay, I couldn't maintain wood with girls I think I thought I sorta liked or however that would feel. So what could be any other possible explaintion?! I certainly coudnt be attracted to no one?!

I kept pushing myself into sexual settings with people I otherwise, outside the sexual hemisphere really liked, kept taking this leap of faith, hoping that when I hit the hey at the bottom I would realize I was just scared, But to describe these experiences as "sex" would due a disservice to the truth; fucking a footlocker with a marshmallow would be a more accurate term. Regardless of sex, setting or how long I knew the person. 1/2'chub city. I was very frustrated & depressed for a time. Although I tried both men & women

I was unable to find anything that suited me. The closest thing I could ever imagine to sex, that I actually enjoy & want to do is either working out or BASE jumping. That's the only time EVER I'm actually aroused.

Wich brings me to my next point, this can't possably be related to T-levels right? I'm one of the most Aplha male types I know. I think that's what makes to SOO confusing for my family & honestly myself as well. My mother thinks I haven't found the right lass yet ( both my parents know nothing of my experiences.) while my father is convinced that someone with this low of a sex drive is impossible & I'm a closeted sextrafficing swinger or similar I can imagine.

End point, I'm very new to this conversation & it's scary how well I feel I fit in this category. I'm looking for advice from people who can tell me about how to tell my friends & family this sorta thing. Is there also a classification for being tuned on by fear? If so is there anyway to include actual people in such actions? Can this be fixed? How do I tell someone new to my life about this?I know the margin of people like this are probably slim, but it's a shot in the dark.

If you relate, PM me.

Thanks a lot. Waffle

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Welcome :)

If you have a reason to worry that your hormone levels are off, then it's not a bad idea to get yourself checked out by a doctor. However, Asexuality is a sexual orientation and it has nothing to do with hormones.

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Member91460

Welcome :)

If you have a reason to worry that your hormone levels are off, then it's not a bad idea to get yourself checked out by a doctor. However, Asexuality is a sexual orientation and it has nothing to do with hormones.

How do I tell my family that? They're surly going to think something's off with me!

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It's just a matter of education. Some people suggest showing them AVEN.

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Member91460

I'm having.

It's just a matter of education. Some people suggest showing them AVEN.

Idk, this is a brain treaser. It's seems like if I had high T-levels, I'd be more sexual.

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Hormone levels have to do with drive. Asexuality is attraction. The two are not linked.

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Member91460

Hormone levels have to do with drive. Asexuality is attraction. The two are not linked.

Then why does this happen to less than 1% of the population? Please be a bit more detailed, I'm really lost here.

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Why is X% of the population homosexual? Or bisexual? It's how I was born, personally. It's not my hormone levels - I desire sex sometimes. I'm just not sexually attracted to anyone. You can desire sex (the physical, and emotional aspects) without being attracted to a person. There's no explanation that we have for why one person is one sexuality and another person is a different sexuality.

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WünderBâhr

The 1% study finding is probably the most purported piece of data over the yrs that ppl point to, but is also likely outdated and not very indicative of cultural/technological shifts that have occurred since then...

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Member91460

The 1% study finding is probably the most purported piece of data over the yrs that ppl point to, but is also likely outdated and not very indicative of cultural/technological shifts that have occurred since then...

Let me start by saying I love your name.

2nd when was that study conducted?

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I'm having.

It's just a matter of education. Some people suggest showing them AVEN.

Idk, this is a brain treaser. It's seems like if I had high T-levels, I'd be more sexual.

Slightly off-topic, but if your T levels are too high then the testosterone gets converted into estrogen. Aside from having a medical professional check those levels it's really hard to say whether or not there are anything wrong with your levels. If you do experience bouts of depression unrelated to attempted sexual activity then definitely get them checked as that is an indicator of low T.

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Member91460

I'm having.

It's just a matter of education. Some people suggest showing them AVEN.

Idk, this is a brain treaser. It's seems like if I had high T-levels, I'd be more sexual.

Slightly off-topic, but if your T levels are too high then the testosterone gets converted into estrogen. Aside from having a medical professional check those levels it's really hard to say whether or not there are anything wrong with your levels. If you do experience bouts of depression unrelated to attempted sexual activity then definitely get them checked as that is an indicator of low T.
I've always been very healthy, in mind & body. Family's a lot of hippies, we eat very well & live a relatively healthly life. For this reason I never thought about getting checked, wouldn't my hair fall out or something? If something was truley that horriblely wrong? It was very frustrating not being able to pinpoint my sexuality, at the point when I found asexually. Boy being gay would have been simple. Lol
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Speaking solely about your arousal by fear, as you have described it, could it be a fetish? That's just the first thing that comes to mind for me. It is very possible to be asexual and a fetishist as you don't need, or feel the need, to act on your arousal...or if you do, it is only sometimes or in specific situations. Acting on arousal to a fetish could be a case and would therefore, most likely, be considered grey-asexuality. Perhaps, if you are not sex repulsed or triggered by sexual discussion, you could look into/research "fear fetish" and "fear play". Hope this is helpful!

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Adding on to that...feel free to message me if you think anything I said fits and have more questions or would like more in-depth conversation about it all!

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nerdperson777

Your hair is more likely to fall out if it's in your genetics, from the viewpoint of a DFAB researching hormone treatment. I doubt your hair will fall out for any other reason. Your T level can be a problem, and it's not caused by anything you've done.

My mom wishes I was gay instead of trans. It would be easier, but I never said I was attracted to anyone.

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Member91460

Speaking solely about your arousal by fear, as you have described it, could it be a fetish? That's just the first thing that comes to mind for me. It is very possible to be asexual and a fetishist as you don't need, or feel the need, to act on your arousal...or if you do, it is only sometimes or in specific situations. Acting on arousal to a fetish could be a case and would therefore, most likely, be considered grey-asexuality. Perhaps, if you are not sex repulsed or triggered by sexual discussion, you could look into/research "fear fetish" and "fear play". Hope this is helpful!

Thanks for the reply!

No, I found fear play & that seems just weird to me. In the most arousing situation I could imagine would be the moment in free fall right before the rig opens. But that lacks people and I'm not thinking of sex at all, so I don't think it could be classified as a fetish.

It's a hard one to classify..

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Member91460

Your hair is more likely to fall out if it's in your genetics, from the viewpoint of a DFAB researching hormone treatment. I doubt your hair will fall out for any other reason. Your T level can be a problem, and it's not caused by anything you've done.

My mom wishes I was gay instead of trans. It would be easier, but I never said I was attracted to anyone.

how did you tell her?

Your hair is more likely to fall out if it's in your genetics, from the viewpoint of a DFAB researching hormone treatment. I doubt your hair will fall out for any other reason. Your T level can be a problem, and it's not caused by anything you've done.

My mom wishes I was gay instead of trans. It would be easier, but I never said I was attracted to anyone.

how did you tell her?

Your hair is more likely to fall out if it's in your genetics, from the viewpoint of a DFAB researching hormone treatment. I doubt your hair will fall out for any other reason. Your T level can be a problem, and it's not caused by anything you've done.

My mom wishes I was gay instead of trans. It would be easier, but I never said I was attracted to anyone.

how did you tell her?

Your hair is more likely to fall out if it's in your genetics, from the viewpoint of a DFAB researching hormone treatment. I doubt your hair will fall out for any other reason. Your T level can be a problem, and it's not caused by anything you've done.

My mom wishes I was gay instead of trans. It would be easier, but I never said I was attracted to anyone.

how did you tell her?

Your hair is more likely to fall out if it's in your genetics, from the viewpoint of a DFAB researching hormone treatment. I doubt your hair will fall out for any other reason. Your T level can be a problem, and it's not caused by anything you've done.

My mom wishes I was gay instead of trans. It would be easier, but I never said I was attracted to anyone.

how did you tell her?

Your hair is more likely to fall out if it's in your genetics, from the viewpoint of a DFAB researching hormone treatment. I doubt your hair will fall out for any other reason. Your T level can be a problem, and it's not caused by anything you've done.

My mom wishes I was gay instead of trans. It would be easier, but I never said I was attracted to anyone.

how did you tell her?
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It sounds like you are truly passionate about physical activity and pushing your body to achieve physical challenges. Personally, I have experienced being turned on by a passion that's greater than myself, but didn't feel the need or desire to act on it.

As for how you tell your parents, honesty works the best. If your family is a bunch of "hippies" as you mentioned, they should be open to listening to you communicate this to them. There is not really a specific "how" because you know your family best, and you should determine the best way to discussing it with them. AVEN is a network full of others like you who will support you even if your family's reaction is not accepting.

If you are concerned about your T levels, go see a doctor first to rule that out before you speak with your family.

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Member91460

It sounds like you are truly passionate about physical activity and pushing your body to achieve physical challenges. Personally, I have experienced being turned on by a passion that's greater than myself, but didn't feel the need or desire to act on it.

As for how you tell your parents, honesty works the best. If your family is a bunch of "hippies" as you mentioned, they should be open to listening to you communicate this to them. There is not really a specific "how" because you know your family best, and you should determine the best way to discussing it with them. AVEN is a network full of others like you who will support you even if your family's reaction is not accepting.

If you are concerned about your T levels, go see a doctor first to rule that out before you speak with your family.

Thanks for all the advice here. Before I found this website I was prettysure I was a nutter! Still don't know If I'm going to bust into this with my folks, I geuss if they ever ask me about it, I'll tell them.
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Member91460

It sounds like you are truly passionate about physical activity and pushing your body to achieve physical challenges. Personally, I have experienced being turned on by a passion that's greater than myself, but didn't feel the need or desire to act on it.

As for how you tell your parents, honesty works the best. If your family is a bunch of "hippies" as you mentioned, they should be open to listening to you communicate this to them. There is not really a specific "how" because you know your family best, and you should determine the best way to discussing it with them. AVEN is a network full of others like you who will support you even if your family's reaction is not accepting.

If you are concerned about your T levels, go see a doctor first to rule that out before you speak with your family.

Thanks for all the advice here. Before I found this website I was prettysure I was a nutter! Still don't know If I'm going to bust into this with my folks, I geuss if they ever ask me about it, I'll tell them.
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Member91460

It sounds like you are truly passionate about physical activity and pushing your body to achieve physical challenges. Personally, I have experienced being turned on by a passion that's greater than myself, but didn't feel the need or desire to act on it.

As for how you tell your parents, honesty works the best. If your family is a bunch of "hippies" as you mentioned, they should be open to listening to you communicate this to them. There is not really a specific "how" because you know your family best, and you should determine the best way to discussing it with them. AVEN is a network full of others like you who will support you even if your family's reaction is not accepting.

If you are concerned about your T levels, go see a doctor first to rule that out before you speak with your family.

Thanks for all the advice here. Before I found this website I was prettysure I was a nutter! Still don't know If I'm going to bust into this with my folks, I geuss if they ever ask me about it, I'll tell them.
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Member91460

It sounds like you are truly passionate about physical activity and pushing your body to achieve physical challenges. Personally, I have experienced being turned on by a passion that's greater than myself, but didn't feel the need or desire to act on it.

As for how you tell your parents, honesty works the best. If your family is a bunch of "hippies" as you mentioned, they should be open to listening to you communicate this to them. There is not really a specific "how" because you know your family best, and you should determine the best way to discussing it with them. AVEN is a network full of others like you who will support you even if your family's reaction is not accepting.

If you are concerned about your T levels, go see a doctor first to rule that out before you speak with your family.

Thanks for all the advice here. Before I found this website I was prettysure I was a nutter! Still don't know If I'm going to bust into this with my folks, I geuss if they ever ask me about it, I'll tell them.
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Member91460

It sounds like you are truly passionate about physical activity and pushing your body to achieve physical challenges. Personally, I have experienced being turned on by a passion that's greater than myself, but didn't feel the need or desire to act on it.

As for how you tell your parents, honesty works the best. If your family is a bunch of "hippies" as you mentioned, they should be open to listening to you communicate this to them. There is not really a specific "how" because you know your family best, and you should determine the best way to discussing it with them. AVEN is a network full of others like you who will support you even if your family's reaction is not accepting.

If you are concerned about your T levels, go see a doctor first to rule that out before you speak with your family.

Thanks for all the advice here, before I found this type of thing I was positive I was a nutter!

I guess if my family ever asked about my distinct lack lovers, then I'll try & tell them.

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