Jump to content

I want to come out. Need advice!


wmac131

Recommended Posts

Hey everyone,

My name is Will and I came out to my parents as asexual today (big step!)

I'm so excited to meet everyone! And i'm wondering if anybody has any advice on how to come out publicly. I made a video that I think covers all the bases but any other advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks so much!

Will

Link to post
Share on other sites
LeftyGreenMario

Some questions you should anticipate is people doubting your orientation even exists. People may ask questions including "do you masturbate", "you're a late bloomer", "you haven't found the right person", or they make some insulting remarks. Of course, you shouldn't responding to the more blatantly insulting ones, but you should anticipate these kinds of questions by people who aren't as informed on asexuality. I myself don't have an incredible amount of experience by coming out, but I expect that you'll deal with these questions.

Have a cake, by the way!

:cake:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Great video! Love it :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

Speaking from a video-editing standpoint - pacing, pacing, pacing. You have a lot of dead space in the video because you cut to a bit and there's a pause before you start talking. You can improve the pacing of the video by getting tighter on the cuts.

Kinsey spectrum thing - the graph isn't really visible at standard youtube viewing size. You need to cut away from you and just show a picture of the plot. Put it in powerpoint. Label the axes in giant ways. You can export multiple slides as you explain different parts. Drop this into your video. (Or if you have good video-editing software, you can do animations there.) Props are only as good as you make them. When you made the triangle, I had no idea what was going on. You could have had a rubicks cube and pointed to the corner of that and it would have meant just as much.

Content-wise, you spend so much time saying everyone is different and how what it means to you isn't the same for everyone. This actually dilutes your message significantly. I didn't get a good sense of where you fell in the asexual spectrum, what your personal experience is, or what it is about the asexual community that draws you to it. When you're explaining at the 101 level, don't be afraid to be more black and white. There's a reason special relativity isn't taught in physics 101. The world is always more complicated than can be conveyed in a 'here are the basics' video.

So there you have it. I hope you continue to vlog because aces need more public faces.

Link to post
Share on other sites
EmpathyAce

You, my friend, are quite deserving of a cake. :cake:

I really liked your video! It was informative and stimulating enough to keep anyone through the video! Awesome work! And congrats on coming out! :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi and welcome to AVEN! Nice work and I hope you keep it up! In the meantime, I think you'll enjoy posting around and making some new friends here on the site. I'm glad you joined and hope you love being part of this amazing community!!! :)

Z38DhfH.jpg?1

Link to post
Share on other sites
PrimeNumbers

Great video! I feel you've covered the bases fairly well in a short enough time that people well want to watch it.

As for coming out (if you choose to tell many people aside from this video), I've found the best way is to be as straight forward as possible. Possibly my awkwardest time was when I thought I was being clear (explaining that I'm not attracted to people) but hadn't actually used the term asexual. I was a little thrown off when my friend said the typical "you just hadn't found someone yet" and quickly corrected myself and stated to my friend directly "I am asexual". I personally find that I prefer describing being asexual before labelling myself but other views will vary.

Link to post
Share on other sites
CosineTheCat

Hello and Welcome to AVEN!

This is a wonderful site full of amazing people and I’m glad that you’ve become a part of it, and thank you for sharing your story, I know it’s not always easy thing to do. Be sure to browse around and check out all the different areas. I’m sure you’ll find something that interests you!

Welcome Again!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...