Nada_ Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 I've only lately begun realize that I might be asexual. The situation is that I'm almost 20 years old and I've never had any libido. I still feel like i'm attracted to women (I myself am a woman too), but the attraction isn't sexual in anyway. The way I am attracted to people is intellectual. The qualities that I find attractive are things such as intellect, sense of humor, wit etc. I can acknowledge that a person is beautiful, I can even say that they're hot but there's nothing sexual to that. It's more like I'm looking at a beautiful painting: the image i'm looking at is gorgeous and pleasing to the eye but I wouldn't have sex with it or anything like that. Still I consider myself lesbian because I don't find men anyway interesting or beautiful in a way that I find women. I've been in a one relationship and that was with a woman, the relationship lasted for two years and we had sex ones. Or it really depends how you determine sex, I gave her head and she got an orgasm but she didn't touch me in that way nor did I get an orgasm. I didn't enjoy it but I did it because I loved her and she wanted it. I've also kissed a man one time, but I was drunk out of my mind and did it just the get some cigarettes (yeah I'm real class act) and found the whole situation absolutely repulsive. I'd really liked to be in a relationship. I like being close to people (cuddling, light kissing without tongue) and the one relationship I had was wonderful, but how am I ever going to find anyone willing to be with me when sex seems to be so essential part of most relationships? Sometimes I just feel like a complete freak of nature. Is there something wrong with me? Sorry if this is in the wrong section, I wasn't really sure where this type of post belongs. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
argar Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Welcome to AVEN. I can't really answer your question. What I can say is that many of us who didn't know they were asexual have asked the same question. May of us have had a feeling we were broken when surrounded by people who have never questioned their sexual desire, or lack of it. I hope through our stories and our experiences you can begin to find your own unique truth. I can tell you I had a similar sexual experience with a man, but always felt empty and wrong afterward. Incidently I liked that you called yourself nothing. I found it amusing, but just know that you are nothing. You are truly something. Have a beautiful day. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Elluna Hellen Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Sounds like you could very well be asexual. No, nothing is wrong with you. You are not a freak. You are a person, and you don't experience sexual attraction. And that is FINE. :) Welcome to AVEN by the way! :cake: :cake: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NoLongerActive1234 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Of course there is nothing wrong with you! :) There is a whole bunch of people on here who feel the same as you do, they want a romantic relationship but without the sex. It does sound like you are asexual from how you describe it, but of course it is up to you to decide. Here is some more information about the different romantic orientations if you want to know more: http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Romantic_orientation It can of course be tricky to find a relationship without sex but there are always possibilities and some people find some sort of compromise to work. There are for example a couple of asexual dating sites that make it easier for asexuals to connect with one another as well. Welcome to Aven! Good to have you here. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TooOldForThis Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 There's nothing wrong with you! From what you wrote, it sounds like you might well be asexual, though ultimately only you can decide that of course. And there are many, many people (as evidenced by this site's membership) who are also asexual. Many of them are also women, and are romantically interested in women. So there are almost definitely people out there who would like to be in a relationship with you :) Welcome to the site! I hope you find some more answers here, and have a good time overall. Have some cake :cake: and tea. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nada_ Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 Thank you so much for all the kind answers ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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