RatherBeReading Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I have noticed that I stop using this website for large portions of time because I just stop thinking about my asexuality. I only really think of it when something extremely sexual comes up in conversation or on the internet or TV and I can't relate, and then I remember 'Oh yeah, I'm not into all that stuff'. Does anyone else experience this? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cleo Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Well yes, absolutely. Might be, because I'm super introverted and mostly alone with me and my thoughts ... And so, even when sexual topics come up for example in a book, series or somewhere, i'm just like *shrugs*, I get through it and then just move on with my life and reading a story/watching a series, like nothing happened. I don't talk to people much and I'm good at avoiding conversations when topics become too sexual ... I think I still think of sex as "a hobby" in the back of my mind, as I did, before I knew I was asexual. I don't give the topic much importance, really. I firmly think that topic of sex and your thoughts on it shouldn't define your life. It's just ... there. Or it's not. Either way is okay. I never understood this hype about it, I never cared, I never questioned it. I hope this made at least some sense. *human on 6 shots of espresso* :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RatherBeReading Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I totally get that! I think it's because (especially with all this pride stuff going on right now) we see a lot of people defining themselves by their sexuality, and that just isn't a factor for us. And even then, someone's sexuality is not who they are. You're about 12 other things before you are 'gay' or 'straight' or 'bisexual' or whatever. I do wonder how much sexuals do actually think about their sexuality, if it's anything like us aces or not. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Yeah, I tend to go for months at a time not thinking about it (it's hardly a big deal IRL to me, and sex related stuff doesn't bother me so I just carry on without a thought), and then will randomly remember and decide to check out what's happening on here. Normally when I have some important work to do and want to procrastinate :P (yeah, it's not like I should be working on my dissertation right now ) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RatherBeReading Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Haha I can totally relate to that, it's not like I have orders to fulfill that were placed months ago... *ahem* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poindexter Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 It might sound odd, but when I'm on AVEN, I find it much easier to ignore my sexuality than when I'm hanging out with friends - the sex-talk, innudeno, oggling cute guys/girls, etc. is a constant reminder that I'm not into that stuff. Here, I can feel more normal, so less attention is drawn to my aceyness. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I'm just myself ; what I am, most of the time I don't think about it, I don't even care. I regularly forget so many things about my identity. When I'm tired, I even forget my name. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceInArkansas Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I forget it like I forget that I have feet. And by that I mean that it is a part of who I am and it is not always on my mind. I took a 7 month leave of absence from AVEN because I forgot all about the website (bad boy! I know...) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Inkbright Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I'm also aro, and romance comes up quite a lot in life (together, romance and sex come up even more), so I don't tend to forget my orientation too often. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RatherBeReading Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I forget it like I forget that I have feet. And by that I mean that it is a part of who I am and it is not always on my mind. Yes that's exactly it! That's the kind of forgetting I was trying to describe. You don't always think about it, but it's always a part of you. Well said! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thatotherguy57 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 I forget it like I forget that I have feet. And by that I mean that it is a part of who I am and it is not always on my mind. I took a 7 month leave of absence from AVEN because I forgot all about the website (bad boy! I know...) I agree with this entirely. I go periods of not logging on for two or three months, but I always come back. And, it's always nice to see someone else from my state on here! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Bookwyrm Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 I go weeks at the time without visiting AVEN until something gets me thinking about my orientation, or sexuality in general, and then I dive back in for awhile. Oddly enough, I tend to drop in when my libido is acting up. Maybe it's a way to reassure myself that, yes, I still am definitely on the ace spectrum, even if I get horny sometimes. ;) It's so nice to have a place like this where I can express these very personal, sometimes confusing feelings without being invalidated, deflected or ridiculed. I'm not broken, and I'm not alone. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The_Verse Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Haha I also go long periods without visiting AVEN. I usually come back for reassurance when I am doubting, or working through things. I really like it here, though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyRingo Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Kind of. It's always there, but I rarely think about it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Yep. And, I'm a vegetarian too. These lifestyle choices you live, are rather easy to forget about when you're actually fully living them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RatherBeReading Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 Yep. And, I'm a vegetarian too. These lifestyle choices you live, are rather easy to forget about when you're actually fully living them. I'm also vegetarian, and I similarly forget about that until someone offers me meat, and I say 'Oh yeah I don't eat that stuff.' It's the same kind of thing for me :P Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Come_Along_Pond Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Yeah, sort of. If I find someone attractive, I'll even say something like "I'd so do her", before remembering that I most likely wouldn't. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
words are futile devices Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 I forget it like I forget that I have feet. And by that I mean that it is a part of who I am and it is not always on my mind. I took a 7 month leave of absence from AVEN because I forgot all about the website (bad boy! I know...) Another Arkansan here, and I also completely agree with what you said! I take long breaks from this site all the time. Really only pop in every once in a while these days, and rarely post anything. When I first discovered my asexuality, I was on here all the time, asking questions, relating with other people's experiences, finding solace in the fact that I wasn't alone and wasn't a freak. I thought about it a lot in the beginning because it was new and exciting. Now it's just, like you said, a part of me. When the people I'm around make sexual jokes/talk about their sexual escapades, I just sort of do an awkward face-palm and laugh while thinking, I can't relate to this in the slightest, but that's okay! I did officially come out on Facebook over the weekend, though, so I've been feeling a bit more ace pride than usual the past couple of days. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ObsessedWithAnime Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 I find it easy to forget likely because 3/4 of my close friends are queer so they are sensitive to the fact that I am ace and won't make comments that will blatantly point out their interest in sex... I am often reminded of my queerness when watching TV or going online or anything, I'd say I notice at least 60% of the time and think to myself "ah another straight couple" but because they aren't like having sex or anything I am only reminded of my panromantic interest and forget about the asexuality aspect of it. The only environments where I do feel constantly reminded of my asexuality would have to be when I'm with my theater friends- they are all so blatantly sexual all the time always making sex jokes I never understand -_- I also will, because I forget about it for periods at a time, will be off of AVEN but I usually come back for a few weeks at a time here and there most likely because of some event that reminded me of how much of a minority I am and I long for a sense of belonging / community on here. :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The_Verse Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Yep. And, I'm a vegetarian too. These lifestyle choices you live, are rather easy to forget about when you're actually fully living them. I'm also vegetarian, and I similarly forget about that until someone offers me meat, and I say 'Oh yeah I don't eat that stuff.' It's the same kind of thing for me :P Me too! I've only been veggie for about 9 months but I'm so into it. And sometimes I forget to check if something is veggie. I have a recurring nightmare that I forget to check something is veggie and end up eating it, only to find out it has gelatine in or something >.< Also, Poptarts aren't veggie and this is disgraceful. I LITERALLY almost cried in the shop when my sister said I should check the ingredients before I buy a box. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeftyGreenMario Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Most of the time, I forget I'm asexual. It's usually when LGBT issues crop up or when the subject of sex itself crops up. But no, I subconsciously idenfity myself as a Mario fan quicker than I identify myself as asexual. I don't mind being asexual at all, though! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gotsu Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 If your hair is black, do you really need to remember yourself that it is black? Is a part of yourself, you get used to it and is not like you need to have it in front of your face all the time. I'm pretty sure that people often forget important details about them, simply because it is obvious for them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Yep. And, I'm a vegetarian too. These lifestyle choices you live, are rather easy to forget about when you're actually fully living them. I'm also vegetarian, and I similarly forget about that until someone offers me meat, and I say 'Oh yeah I don't eat that stuff.' It's the same kind of thing for me :P Me too! I've only been veggie for about 9 months but I'm so into it. And sometimes I forget to check if something is veggie. I have a recurring nightmare that I forget to check something is veggie and end up eating it, only to find out it has gelatine in or something >.< Also, Poptarts aren't veggie and this is disgraceful. I LITERALLY almost cried in the shop when my sister said I should check the ingredients before I buy a box. Off topic... Poptarts use gelatin in the frosting. Some non-frosted flavors are safe. Also, Amy's and other brands make toaster tarts that are veg/vegan. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The_Verse Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Yep. And, I'm a vegetarian too. These lifestyle choices you live, are rather easy to forget about when you're actually fully living them. I'm also vegetarian, and I similarly forget about that until someone offers me meat, and I say 'Oh yeah I don't eat that stuff.' It's the same kind of thing for me :P Me too! I've only been veggie for about 9 months but I'm so into it. And sometimes I forget to check if something is veggie. I have a recurring nightmare that I forget to check something is veggie and end up eating it, only to find out it has gelatine in or something >.< Also, Poptarts aren't veggie and this is disgraceful. I LITERALLY almost cried in the shop when my sister said I should check the ingredients before I buy a box. Off topic... Poptarts use gelatin in the frosting. Some non-frosted flavors are safe. Also, Amy's and other brands make toaster tarts that are veg/vegan. :) OMG I will check! This is the best thing ever thank you!!! I don't know if we get other brand toaster tarts here in the UK, but I will keep an eye out!!! <3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Radiance Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 When I'm not in school, I have a tendency to forget that I'm ace as much as I forget that I'm biromantic. To be perfectly honest, I'm so used to being ace and bi that I sometimes even forget that not everyone can be attracted to anyone but probably won't have sex with them, lol. But I agree with Gotsu - I don't always remember things about me just because it's obvious to me. (School is different because everyone is so judgy and the conversations tend to be sex-oriented...) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mm626 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Definitely! I don't find myself needing to think about it often. My friend circle no longer includes a lot of people that talk about sex 24/7, so I'm not reminded of my (a)sexuality a lot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Well I often forget that sexuality is a part of people's lives, if that counts. There's nothing about my own existence that's particularly sexual in nature, and whilst I'm obviously aware of sex and know that logically, people have it, it's in a very detached sense. Almost like on a gut level, I figure no one actually really bothers. That goes for other stuff too, not just partnered sexual activity. Masturbation, watching porn, whatever. Sometimes, I'd like to know more about this position. How is masturbation is in no way inherently sexual? I do it, and I recognize that it is sexual, but by no means, I do it because I want to. No, just no, I did not choose to have a libido, and I would be glad if it didn't exist in the first place. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie777 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Every once and awhile I forget that I'm asexual and start to date another woman. Sooner or later, especially when we get into kissing, she realizes that there's no "chemistry" and/or "heterosexual tension" and accuses me of being gay. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Good question. I think there are other things that alienate me more from society than not wanting to have sex. Not being very sociable or overly chatty, for example. I don't crave companionship like other people do. I feel like I'm the odd one out because I'm constantly reminded of all this. I guess I never really forget I'm asexual, but it's not a very alienating experience, hence I don't think about it all the time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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