Is it okay for me to call myself bi?

[Cheery]

I was pretty sure the answer was 'yes' until a few days ago when I got shit from a few persons on Tumblr, telling me that "bi" meant "bisexual", not "biromantic" and I had no right calling myself that. That I was erasing them and all that stuff. I'm biromantic ace (figured out the bi part recently and after a lot of soul-searching) and I mostly use the bi label now because I want to avoid the whole vocab lesson when I come out to people. I mean, to my friends I explain the whole stuff, sure. But if I'd explain this to every single person I meet, I mean... I'd never be done talking. Especially at Pride gatherings and such.

And people mostly end up laughing at me anyway, so I use "bi" to avoid that and make things easier. Is it really so wrong for me to use that label? Cause I mean... it's technically true. I'm romantically attracted to more than one gender after all. And if I go with just 'ace' then people will assume I'm not interested to be dating at all, even though I actually am interested.

What do you guys think? I think I'm pretty sure of the answer, but I guess I just need someone else to verify it for me.

[damage_case]

Why are we being all technical with the labels? Who are we proving our identity to?
Life is about getting up in the morning happy to go to work, eating food, taking in oxygen, drinking water, coming back home and also pursuing our hobbies. Whats bi and tri and dem and all that craps gotta do with it.

Look. In my opinion, dont complicate your life. Be yourself and whether its between friends or on the internet, try not to proclaim or exclaim or announce your sexual orientation coz its your preference and matter and has nothing to do with others who are back stabbing vultures anyways.

Take off that label right now.

[allrightalready]

one problem with tumblr is the large number of people who bully anyone not exactly like themselves (all while saying they are the most open people ever to exist)

you can call yourself a unicorn or a zebra and it is ok.

calling yourself bi as a biromantic even makes sense so of course it is ok, don't let others define you or bully you into anything

[Cheery]

Ok thanks. XD That just made me feel a whole lot better.

Also, damage_case: I see where you're coming from and you're right. But the thing is about these labels is: They make me feel secure. They make me feel like I know who I am, even if I might not. They make me belong somewhere, because for so long I didn't think I belonged anywhere and I was really lonely. Through these labels I went to pride last week and met a load of wonderful people who I can't wait to see again, made friends who are like me and who understand me.

I might be ready to take off the labels one day, but right now, I just really need them.

[SirEl]

Of course you can call yourself bi. Those people were just being big meanies!

Bi is short for bisexual and/or biromantic. Generally when people say they're bisexual without mentioning their romantic orientation they're both bisexual and biromantic but you can use it for only biromantic too!

[Cheery]

Oh gosh I'm saving that picture XD This is great. Thanks a lot. :)

Yeah, they were big meanies. The trouble about me is, I tend to doubt myself really quickly, so anytime something like this happens, it follows me for weeks.

Honestly, this is why I love this form cause you're all just the best! thanks.

[knout]

People think they own a label or that they're suddenly the new label police just because the label happens to fit them but everyone is free to use whatever label they want, especially if it helps them feel better about themselves, no one can do anything about that.

Saying you are bi is perfectly fine (same for Aces who use straight/gay/pan labels as such), people don't have to know who you want to sleep with, you're already telling who you're attracted to

So just keep using any label that makes you feel better and see the tumblr label police try to arrest you ^_^

[Robin L]

People can use these abbreviations to mean both their romantic and sexual orientations. It depends on which one you find more important.

[damage_case]

Ok thanks. XD That just made me feel a whole lot better.

Also, damage_case: I see where you're coming from and you're right. But the thing is about these labels is: They make me feel secure. They make me feel like I know who I am, even if I might not. They make me belong somewhere, because for so long I didn't think I belonged anywhere and I was really lonely. Through these labels I went to pride last week and met a load of wonderful people who I can't wait to see again, made friends who are like me and who understand me.

I might be ready to take off the labels one day, but right now, I just really need them.

I will be more proud not to be labelled in any way. You are child of this world and we're all brothers and sisters. Give yourself a big hug and be proud of who you are. You dont need to label yourself. I think its a fad. Do you really think that the nice people who met you and are friends with you wouldve not been friendly to you if you didnt use a label to describe yourself? If the answer is yes, then find new friends.

[allrightalready]

Why are we being all technical with the labels? Who are we proving our identity to?

Life is about getting up in the morning happy to go to work, eating food, taking in oxygen, drinking water, coming back home and also pursuing our hobbies. Whats bi and tri and dem and all that craps gotta do with it.

Look. In my opinion, dont complicate your life. Be yourself and whether its between friends or on the internet, try not to proclaim or exclaim or announce your sexual orientation coz its your preference and matter and has nothing to do with others who are back stabbing vultures anyways.

Take off that label right now.

labels are to communicate things not just to limit or be evil

red or green are also labels and they help people understand not to ram each other at intersections.

[damage_case]

Why are we being all technical with the labels? Who are we proving our identity to?

Life is about getting up in the morning happy to go to work, eating food, taking in oxygen, drinking water, coming back home and also pursuing our hobbies. Whats bi and tri and dem and all that craps gotta do with it.

Look. In my opinion, dont complicate your life. Be yourself and whether its between friends or on the internet, try not to proclaim or exclaim or announce your sexual orientation coz its your preference and matter and has nothing to do with others who are back stabbing vultures anyways.

Take off that label right now.

labels are to communicate things not just to limit or be evil

red or green are also labels and they help people understand not to ram each other at intersections.

Yes but you are a human being my dear. You are not a traffic signal.

If you were my friend, I'd see whats good in you and not put a label on you. Since Im an asexual as well, I dont care about your sexual orientation, I'd be more concerned about your likes and dislikes and habits and quirks that I can identify with.

If asexuality is something thats in you, then it will be observed and even without talking, I'll see it in your eyes and our non verbal communication.

[Levya]

The thing about labels is that they exist to help people understand themselves, and to help people explain how they feel to others, so if you feel comfortable using bi then no one should be able to say you can't. That would be defeating the whole purpose of labels.

I know for myself I'm a bit daunted about telling people I'm panromantic asexual 'cause I'd probably have to go into a long explanation, so I totally understand wanting to just say bi and be done with it. C: (especially since spell check is currently telling me 'panromantic' is not a word haha)

[Cheery]

Also, I think confusion is far more limiting than labels.

Ok thanks. XD That just made me feel a whole lot better.

Also, damage_case: I see where you're coming from and you're right. But the thing is about these labels is: They make me feel secure. They make me feel like I know who I am, even if I might not. They make me belong somewhere, because for so long I didn't think I belonged anywhere and I was really lonely. Through these labels I went to pride last week and met a load of wonderful people who I can't wait to see again, made friends who are like me and who understand me.

I might be ready to take off the labels one day, but right now, I just really need them.

I will be more proud not to be labelled in any way. You are child of this world and we're all brothers and sisters. Give yourself a big hug and be proud of who you are. You dont need to label yourself. I think its a fad. Do you really think that the nice people who met you and are friends with you wouldve not been friendly to you if you didnt use a label to describe yourself? If the answer is yes, then find new friends.

They would have absolutely liked me. But if I didn't label myself and was still confused, I would never have actually met them. That's the difference. Labels are great to meet people and to communicate your attractions if you're looking for a relationship. And personally, I think confusion about oneself is far more limiting than labels.

Labels can be a form of freedom. Because if you have a way to describe yourself, it can lead to far more self-assurance and thus, you feel more free to be who you are. That's what it's like for me anyway.

[Cheery]

But I guess we could discuss this all day. XD It's great you don't feel the need for labels, but well... I do. And I think that's okay too.

[iff]

Its up to you on how you want to identify.

As allrightalready i think said, tumblr can be a bully environment so don't pay attention to those elements of it

it is only you who can decide the terms you want to identify :)

[Guest]

The best way I can describe labels is..

They are like switching on a light switch to get up or down stairs when its dark,

So you can see where your going, but you don't stop and stare at the switch and analyze the ins and outs of it.

its helpful and serves its purpose but You just carry right on your merry way

[Cheery]

The best way I can describe labels is..

They are like switching on a light switch to get up or down stairs when its dark,

So you can see where your going, but you don't stop and stare at the switch and analyze the ins and outs of it.

its helpful and serves its purpose but You just carry right on your merry way

I love that analogy! :D

[LucyFernandez]

I've had that exact same discussion about labels yesterday with a friend.

He told me that labels divide people into different and opposing groups. Which is only partly true.

I may be asexual, but I still have straight, bi, trans, gay and other friends. And without this ace label I may have never found out what I actually want. Not too long ago I let people talk into my actions and thoughts and identity. Girls in school demanded to know who I liked and I took a guess at someone because I didn't know that I could just say that there's no one.

Saying "I'm an asexual aromantic" provides security about what I'm doing is right and gives me the courage to object other people's demands.

Words are what we want them to be and my labels are part of my identity, not a cage I put myself. If I'm not careful they might be constricting, but that's up to myself to not pull them too tight.

I hope this made sense^^

[allrightalready]

Why are we being all technical with the labels? Who are we proving our identity to?

Life is about getting up in the morning happy to go to work, eating food, taking in oxygen, drinking water, coming back home and also pursuing our hobbies. Whats bi and tri and dem and all that craps gotta do with it.

Look. In my opinion, dont complicate your life. Be yourself and whether its between friends or on the internet, try not to proclaim or exclaim or announce your sexual orientation coz its your preference and matter and has nothing to do with others who are back stabbing vultures anyways.

Take off that label right now.

labels are to communicate things not just to limit or be evil

red or green are also labels and they help people understand not to ram each other at intersections.

Yes but you are a human being my dear. You are not a traffic signal.

If you were my friend, I'd see whats good in you and not put a label on you. Since Im an asexual as well, I dont care about your sexual orientation, I'd be more concerned about your likes and dislikes and habits and quirks that I can identify with.

If asexuality is something thats in you, then it will be observed and even without talking, I'll see it in your eyes and our non verbal communication.

no other man can seem to do this they are always coming on to me

[LucyFernandez]

Why are we being all technical with the labels? Who are we proving our identity to?

Life is about getting up in the morning happy to go to work, eating food, taking in oxygen, drinking water, coming back home and also pursuing our hobbies. Whats bi and tri and dem and all that craps gotta do with it.

Look. In my opinion, dont complicate your life. Be yourself and whether its between friends or on the internet, try not to proclaim or exclaim or announce your sexual orientation coz its your preference and matter and has nothing to do with others who are back stabbing vultures anyways.

Take off that label right now.

labels are to communicate things not just to limit or be evil

red or green are also labels and they help people understand not to ram each other at intersections.

Yes but you are a human being my dear. You are not a traffic signal.

If you were my friend, I'd see whats good in you and not put a label on you. Since Im an asexual as well, I dont care about your sexual orientation, I'd be more concerned about your likes and dislikes and habits and quirks that I can identify with.

If asexuality is something thats in you, then it will be observed and even without talking, I'll see it in your eyes and our non verbal communication.

no other man can seem to do this they are always coming on to me

That's because boys and men are taught to overinterpret women's behaviours.

Since "no" means yes and "yes" means no, but only sometimes. That's when a polite smile comes across as flirting, just like uncomfortable eye contact does. People are taught to read each other like books instead of everyone making clear to each other what they want and mean through words, making misunderstandings unlikely to happen.

Even if you are able to read a person's gestures and mimic and the way they speak, I can't. I can recognize what a person feels through the words they use and other nonverbal means. But I can't see someone's intentions and identity in that. You have to tell me. You always have to make that little bit of extra effort to tell me what you want or not.

[allrightalready]

That's because boys and men are taught to overinterpret women's behaviours.

Since "no" means yes and "yes" means no, but only sometimes. That's when a polite smile comes across as flirting, just like uncomfortable eye contact does. People are taught to read each other like books instead of everyone making clear to each other what they want and mean through words, making misunderstandings unlikely to happen.

Even if you are able to read a person's gestures and mimic and the way they speak, I can't. I can recognize what a person feels through the words they use and other nonverbal means. But I can't see someone's intentions and identity in that. You have to tell me. You always have to make that little bit of extra effort to tell me what you want or not.

i am afraid anything i tell them still won't work no matter how explicit, not being interested , being lesbian all just makes them try harder. sometime i am afraid to leave my apartment for it

[LucyFernandez]

That's because boys and men are taught to overinterpret women's behaviours.

Since "no" means yes and "yes" means no, but only sometimes. That's when a polite smile comes across as flirting, just like uncomfortable eye contact does. People are taught to read each other like books instead of everyone making clear to each other what they want and mean through words, making misunderstandings unlikely to happen.

Even if you are able to read a person's gestures and mimic and the way they speak, I can't. I can recognize what a person feels through the words they use and other nonverbal means. But I can't see someone's intentions and identity in that. You have to tell me. You always have to make that little bit of extra effort to tell me what you want or not.

i am afraid anything i tell them still won't work no matter how explicit, not being interested , being lesbian all just makes them try harder. sometime i am afraid to leave my apartment for it

That's totally understandable and still something society has to work on a lot.

[Come_Along_Pond]

Oh gods, people on tumblr just like to jump on everyone and everything. Ignore those tossers. You can use whatever label you like. I'm an asexual lesbian and I will continue to use that term, and I normally just tell people I'm a lesbian because I can't be bothered with the vocab lesson either. It's too much effort. And I've identified as a lesbian for so long that it's a part of me now. Besides, I'm still attracted to women both physically and romantically, so I don't see why I shouldn't.