MatthewMunson Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 So, your advice; I'm in my thirties, living in Kent, and I've always kept myself hidden away from relationships; during my twenties, I never understood what my "problems" were, and then I realised I didn't have any problems at all; I was just asexual :-) I'm finally ready to start "getting myself out there," but I just don't know how - how to meet fellow asexuals in the local area, for example. Advice is very welcome ... Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Could it be that you're also aromantic, or are you saying you tried relationships before but they didn't work out due to your lack of sexual attraction? Link to post Share on other sites
Niqa Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Hi Matthew! I'm afraid I don't have much advice but I'm in the same boat, to thanks for posting and I look forward to more replies. The two approaches I'm taking are: The tried and true that seems to work for people of all types of sexuality. Find something that you like, that you can do in community. For me it's theatre. What kind of hobbies do you have? Are there any clubs, meet-ups, regular gatherings for people who do the things you like, or something you're interested in trying? Engaging with the broader LGBTQ+ community. I know how I want to talk about my asexuality in a relationship. But that never seems to work out. I figured if I could find a group of people who naturally spend more time talking about what and who they are really directly that I could learn how I want to do it. May the fates be kind. Keep us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I recommend Acebook: http://www.ace-book.net/ Link to post Share on other sites
stanACEberatheon Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I was in a similar position to the OP. Acebook is OK, but it is often hard to find someone local. I bit the bullet and made two profiles on ukcupid and plenty of fish, in which I mentioned my asexuality in both profiles. I got zero response from POF, but I have met someone on ukcupid (fingers crossed with that), so maybe just be honest with people and be patient? The chances are if someone is asexual and they know about it, then they will already be on this site or Acebook. So if you wish to broaden the net a bit, you might need to try conventional sites, like I did. Put a link to this site's Q&A in your profile if you do this and also mention that you are not ill - haha! Link to post Share on other sites
boxed toast Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 What do you want from a relationship? Are you lonely? Do you have friends? I've always felt that it's important to be in a decent situation with friends before attempting a relationship, but what to I know I'm a teenager. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Dreaming Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 I've always thought that meaningful friendships are more important than a romantic relationship, so I am concentrating on that now. But I changed my orientation on okcupid just in case I get super lucky - though that seems unlikely, given that there are about 10 people in the UK listed thus. Link to post Share on other sites
aman Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 I am looking for asexual relationship Link to post Share on other sites
theMOONmonarch Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 What do you want from a relationship? Are you lonely? Do you have friends? I've always felt that it's important to be in a decent situation with friends before attempting a relationship, but what to I know I'm a teenager. I agree, though I've never been in an actual romantic relationship. For a while, I really wanted one or thought I did, but now I've come to the conclusion I'd much rather have a really good friendship/s and may be aro. Link to post Share on other sites
MatthewMunson Posted July 2, 2015 Author Share Posted July 2, 2015 Some very interesting comments - thanks to all that have replied so far :-) I think I personally want a combination of relationship (non-sexual) and deep friendship that actually means something, if you see what I mean. It's sometimes hard to describe, isn't it? How do other people view their relationship desires? Link to post Share on other sites
WheelCuddle Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Okcupid lets you search by many different types, including asexual, and demisexual, I would start there. I wouldnt worry about your lack of experience, it seems quite common with asexuals. Though not many people identify as asexual, I've learned some label themself as bisexual but list just looking for friends. It's not a sure thing they are asexual but it's sort of a code. Link to post Share on other sites
MatthewMunson Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 Okcupid lets you search by many different types, including asexual, and demisexual, I would start there. I wouldnt worry about your lack of experience, it seems quite common with asexuals. Though not many people identify as asexual, I've learned some label themself as bisexual but list just looking for friends. It's not a sure thing they are asexual but it's sort of a code. That's a good tip, thank you - I'll take a look round it this afternoon :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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