madame president Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
a-happyhippie Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Hmmm... well if I'm not mistaken, sapiosexual means someone who is sexually attracted to intelligence. You could very well be a sex-repulsed sapiosexual. (: But you can also be asexual. Really, when it comes down to it, it's whatever label you feel comfortable with! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chair jockey Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Your post is highly self-deprecating, and I'm not sure how to interpret that. Have other people been saying to you that you're all these things you say you are, or have they been treating you as if you're those things? Either way you sound pretty self-aware and like you know something about thinking (which does not come naturally to our species but must be learned the way you learn to drive a car). So I wouldn't be so down on yourself if I were you. Being attracted to someone else's subjectivity is not quite sapiosexual, because that's just attraction to intelligence, and there's a lot more to someone's subjectivity than their intelligence (plus sapiosexuals tend to be attracted to HIGH intelligence which is not something you described). But it's perfectly normal for an asexual to have a libido and to experience crushes. Some do. Others don't. How are your social relations with people in your physical immediate world? That could offer some clues. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Archon Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I also had the misconception that I was bi for the exact same reason. You said you're not just attracted to people's bodies but also to their minds, emotions, etc. You might be asexual or in the grey area. Maybe you are sapiosexual or demisexual (only sexually attracted to people you are emotionally close with)? Of course, I can't label you and only you can identify yourself. Welcome to AVEN! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Hey you can identify with any label you feel fits. I have aspergers as well, so I know how you feel. My friend and I actually call each other snowflakes sometimes. As far as what you say it sounds like you could be sapiosexual or some kind of greysexual to me, though I can not say for certain as I am not you. Just remember there is a whole spectrum under the asexual label, with all sorts of labels, so feel free to stick around and explore all the new vocabulary. I hope you find what you are looking for and enjoy AVEN. It is my favorite place on the internet (and I do not usually pick favorites). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Sexual attraction is when someones presence is sexually arousing and you have the impulse/desire to do sexual things to or with them. You don't seem to have mentioned you have that. Arousal alone is not sexual attraction but an involintary bodily responce. You say you're attracted to who the person is. Panromantic is when someones sex/gender is't a contributing factor in your attraction to them. Some people experience aesthetic attraction and others don't, but it's not sexual, though sexual people typically feel that with it. Aesthetic attraction is when someones looks and or mannerisms cause a fixation/pull to look at them. It is different from aesthetically pleasing/recognizing what others would recognize as good looks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
madame president Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 Sexual attraction is when someones presence is sexually arousing and you have the impulse/desire to do sexual things to or with them. You don't seem to have mentioned you have that. Arousal alone is not sexual attraction but an involintary bodily responce. You say you're attracted to who the person is. Panromantic is when someones sex/gender is't a contributing factor in your attraction to them. Some people experience aesthetic attraction and others don't, but it's not sexual, though sexual people typically feel that with it. Aesthetic attraction is when someones looks and or mannerisms cause a fixation/pull to look at them. It is different from aesthetically pleasing/recognizing what others would recognize as good looks. this was really helpful. i was not aware of the differences between arousal and sexual attraction, thank you. thinking back, no, i don't believe i've ever felt sexual attraction. which seems odd to me. i guess i never really noticed it because i've been conditioned to think it's "normal" to feel sexual attraction? i remember trying to force myself in middle and high school to think guys were hot so maybe i've forced myself to think i've experienced sexual attraction? not actually knowing what it was could definitely have been a factor there. sorry i'm just thinking out loud at this point. xP i feel like i can identify with the aesthetic attraction thing, and the more i think/read about it, the more i think asexual seems to fit me. it really helps to have the difference between arousal and sexual attraction clarified. ohhh and the difference between sexual attraction and sexual desire is a good one to understand. great awesome i think i'm finally understanding some things. thank you all for your replies! very helpful. i'm glad i found this site, you all seem like great people. i definitely have a lot to learn (so much vocabulary wow) so i'll for sure be sticking around to explore a bit. thanks! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Ace Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 It's kind of like wanting cake. Two people, let's call them Amy and Bob, both proclaim to like cake. Amy enjoys a slice of cake every week but doesn't mind if she misses it once. Bob dreams about cake, desires having cake for dessert every night, and gets disappointed when he runs out of cake mix. Without a deeper discussion of their cake enjoyment, how would Amy and Bob be able to compare their desire for it? I think the same could be said for sexual attraction. What you might think is sexual attraction is like how Amy feels about cake. She likes it, but it's a take it or leave it kind of thing for her. Bob on the other hand, well, he feels much stronger about that cake. And that may be analogous to how sexual people feel sexual attraction. I'm as confused as you are AVEN Raven. But, I'm starting to understand why most people act like Bob and not Amy. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
madame president Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 It's kind of like wanting cake. Two people, let's call them Amy and Bob, both proclaim to like cake. Amy enjoys a slice of cake every week but doesn't mind if she misses it once. Bob dreams about cake, desires having cake for dessert every night, and gets disappointed when he runs out of cake mix. Without a deeper discussion of their cake enjoyment, how would Amy and Bob be able to compare their desire for it? I think the same could be said for sexual attraction. What you might think is sexual attraction is like how Amy feels about cake. She likes it, but it's a take it or leave it kind of thing for her. Bob on the other hand, well, he feels much stronger about that cake. And that may be analogous to how sexual people feel sexual attraction. I'm as confused as you are AVEN Raven. But, I'm starting to understand why most people act like Bob and not Amy. :) AVEN Raven. i like it. i also like that analogy, it really helped put things in perspective. thanks! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whocaresthough Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 "special snowflake" XD Love the reference. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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