Jaque Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Hey guys. Fairly recently a new girl started at my work. A very cute and charming young lady. Over the last month we have been getting to know each other, and I'v found myself starting to have feelings for her, which is an event almost as rare as a lunar eclipse, and an event that always terrifies me. Generally I dont do dating and relationships. One because I can go years with out fancying any one. But also because i cant handle the physical stuff. I'm sex repulsed and find the idea of kissing freaky and unnatural. Yet yesterday evening at work I felt some thing I have never felt before. A man had entered our building and approached her, and it made her feel uncomfortable. She came running to me in a panic and as she stood in front of me I looked straight into her eyes, and for a moment and want nothing more than to kiss her. I wanted nothing more than to do some thing that until that moment had freaked me out for my whole life. But now I am freaked out by this. The moment has passed and I naturally feel like I'v felt some thing that is wrong and dirty. I had girlfriends as a teenager who I put effort into avoiding kissing moments with. Yet for that brief moment I wanted to. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. This is confusing! Now the fact that I wanted to kiss some one is all I can think about. Help me clear my mind? Please? :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 There are times in which in the moment, we derive a bit from what we think and act in a totally different way. The question to ask yourself is, do you still feel like kissing her, if the opportunity presented itself again? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jaque Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 There are times in which in the moment, we derive a bit from what we think and act in a totally different way. The question to ask yourself is, do you still feel like kissing her, if the opportunity presented itself again? If she tried to kiss me now I'm pretty sure I'd push her away. I think the thing that bothers me more is that she's a work colleague I spend a lot of time with. I dont do romantic feelings or relationships and definitely dont want to take it to work. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Spending a considerable amount of time with someone can give way to feelings, especially if you start sharing a bit of personal information between the two, this doesn't have to be explicitly romantic though and nowhere does it state that just because you start feeling something for someone, that they are romantic and that you must automatically try to form a relationship with them, that's a socially induced idea. From the looks of it (of course this is just my opinion and someone else may have a better understanding and answer), it may seem like the confusion generated by being constantly exposed to an idea that interest must be followed up and result in romance and especially how the idea that is portrayed where the "girl flies into you're arms" because she trusts you as a romantic moment, mix in with a feeling of friendliness caused this momentary reaction in you. At least since you have mentioned that should she try doing that, you would push her away. Think of it as when you're angry and do something that otherwise you wouldn't, the same more or less applies here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 It is possible that you "technically" have the capability to feel romantic and/or sexual attraction and are simply repulsed. It is up to you whether you want to explore that possibility or not. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jaque Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 Spending a considerable amount of time with someone can give way to feelings, especially if you start sharing a bit of personal information between the two, this doesn't have to be explicitly romantic though and nowhere does it state that just because you start feeling something for someone, that they are romantic and that you must automatically try to form a relationship with them, that's a socially induced idea. From the looks of it (of course this is just my opinion and someone else may have a better understanding and answer), it may seem like the confusion generated by being constantly exposed to an idea that interest must be followed up and result in romance and especially how the idea that is portrayed where the "girl flies into you're arms" because she trusts you as a romantic moment, mix in with a feeling of friendliness caused this momentary reaction in you. At least since you have mentioned that should she try doing that, you would push her away. Think of it as when you're angry and do something that otherwise you wouldn't, the same more or less applies here. I have had times in the past where I have had strong feelings for some one but not been interested in pursuing a relationship, I just like spending a lot of time with them. But I have then experienced jealousy if that person then becomes romantically involved with some body else. I think my jealousy does largely come from a sense that I cant provide them with what they truly want or point out that I am different from the rest. I admit I do always feel dissapointed when my fiends tell me they are in a relationship. I just dont understand this relationship business. I admit my dream world would have all of my close friends single (and happy about it). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Visenya Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 She came running to me in a panic and as she stood in front of me I looked straight into her eyes, and for a moment and want nothing more than to kiss her. I wanted nothing more than to do some thing that until that moment had freaked me out for my whole life. Something like that happened to me a few times, and it freaked me out. It even made me wonder if I'm demisexual/demisensual, but now I'm not sure. All I know is that, when I used to hang out with one of my friends, I would sometimes get this weird feeling, kind of like a strong magnetic pull towards him, that made me want to kiss him. It happened 3 or 4 times with this friend, and once with a guy I had a crush on, but only after I had a strong emotional bond with them, so I think Jade Cross might be correct about it being caused by a feeling of friendliness (at least in my case). I don't know what it was, or how to call it, but this feeling probably won't happen ever again, so I stopped bothering with it. I wish I could be more of help, but I'm still confused about those "incidents" myself, so... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whocaresthough Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 That happened once to me. I am also sex-repulsed and very much dislike kissing. Maybe there's correlation here? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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