Demisexuals and Grays: Do you platonically cuddle?

[WoodwindWhistler]

Recent threads about aces- even aromantics- craving cuddles has got me wondering- what are the gray area's thoughts about cuddling? How affectionate are you ordinarily? Is cuddlying innately romantic for you? Does the desire not show unless romantic feelings are there first? If you cuddle with someone, does that speed along romantic feelings, as it does sometimes for allos? Have you ever tried cuddling . . . just to try it? (like I did)

[allrightalready]

if any of my friends were into it i would love to but i only have two irl friends and one is against it the other has a very jealous partner so i am bereft of cuddles

[noparlpf]

I'm not particularly cuddly but my friend who's aro/ace likes to use me as furniture. (In general she's pretty touch-repulsed though and it takes her a while to get comfortable with people having bodies, especially male people.)

[C-Lo]

I'm touch-averse and I guess by extension demi-sensual. That being said, I've cuddled but only with women whom I was in some sort of a romantic relationship with.

[Star Bit]

Sensual attraction is normal, most people even have it for their pet. :3

[Hardly any]

I enjoy cuddling with those I care about, but strangers don't need to touch me.

[Rising Sun]

I'm hypersensitive to touch, so cuddling is for me something intimate, much more intimate than for most. It has a very strong emotional meaning for me, a little bit like sex for most people. It's something I view as very romantic. I knew someone who was very cuddly and he liked to flirt a little bit, I fell in love with him (he was my first love). Physical contact played a part in creating new feelings. If he had a different attitude, if he weren't as physical, I think things may have been different.

[Arctangent]

I'm not an overtly physically affectionate person with casual friends or acquaintances, and I typically dislike touch with strangers. However, I enjoy cuddling with close friends (and by extension, SOs). Emotional closeness is a big factor in making me feel comfortable with touch, although whether it's a romantic or nonromantic type of closeness doesn't seem to matter to me. So I wouldn't say cuddling is inherently romantic to me, but it can still be a way for me to express intimacy and feel closer to another person.

Physical affection is an important relationship desire to me. If I haven't had a chance to cuddle in a while (usually about a month or so) I start feeling cravings for physical affection. I can imagine having an intimate relationship that doesn't involve physical affection, but I would prefer if at least one of my relationships involves cuddling on a regular basis.

[Otakon]

No. It wouldn't feel right. Only with an SO.

[ioncehadasoul]

I would be ALL ABOUT platonic cuddling but I know no one who is into it, and my partner would get jealous because he thinks it's strictly a romantic thing.

But I can't cuddle him without him getting a boner so it's a problem. >.>

[tarot1330]

I view cuddling as very intimate. I've never felt comfortable enough with someone to cuddle with them before. I'm also hypersensitive to touch and I don't typically like to be touched by anybody so I don't see myself cuddling with anyone I'm not in a relationship with. I really wish I didn't feel this way about it though.

[Guest]

I am touch averse, I hate any form of touch (especially cuddling, eeew) except with the person I am attracted to. If I am attracted to someone romantically and sensually then I definitely want to cuddle them ^_^

[EchoesOfACity]

I personally like cuddling, I tend to feel sensual attraction with guys and that includes cuddling, kissing, and just kind of innocent touching. I like being in close physical contact with another guy but once it comes to being sexual I become very uncomfortable and uninterested.

[thezebb]

I only cuddle romantic partners. I have no interest in cuddling friends or other acquaintances. Cuddling can be very intimate in my opinion, I would be very uncomfortable with platonic cuddles.

[thatotherguy57]

With only a few exceptions (bumped in a crowd, tap on the shoulder, shaking hands, as these are often polite or unavoidable), I view physical contact as an intimate act, and if I do not know someone, or am not comfortable with someone, I do not want them touching me.

[MaxAmoeba]

No.

[limabean]

I'm sometimes into platonic cuddling, but only with friends I'm very, very close to. The list of people I would feel comfortable cuddling with is pretty short...

[Jackline]

I'm currently in a quasiplatonic relationship just for the cuddles! I'm the type of person that doesn't feel right touching anyone without permission so having an arrangement where it is encouraged to touch someone else is really great for right now. Plus there is no romantic connection with my cuddle buddy so that means we don't have to do the awkward 'are we dating? Are we sure about that?' dance. However outside of my QPR, I don't touch people so it is platonic cuddling is a-okay only under specific circumstances.

[Indiana Joe]

Hmm. I didn't consider this separately. I suppose I'm on the darker end of the grey scale here, too. I'm not touch-averse (that would seriously get in the way of working with kids) but now that my little one is reaching the tail end of the frequent cuddle stage I'm finding myself less willing to engage with others, particularly adults, than I was before.

[scarletlatitude]

Cuddling is a very romantic thing for me. I really don't like being touched by people who are not my family (or my significant other... or a doctor, if it is medically necessary). I also don't really like touching other people. Hugging is super awkward for me. I don't think I could ever platonically cuddle. Romantic cuddling, I am all for. However, I have yet to find an introverted, demisexual male who lives in my area, and is about my age, and would totally be okay with cuddling that does not lead to sex or anything sexual at all.

[Pyladea]

No cuddles from me unless you are a saddened family member or you are someone I have developed romantic feelings for. Otherwise no touchy please.

[flipflopperman]

i'm a really touchy person so i'm 100% down with platonic cuddles. none of my friends are, that i know of, though :(

[C_Bean]

YES! I have always been a very "touchy-feely" kind of person, independent of romantic meaning. My best friend and I have a long history of cuddling, and I love it! Romantic cuddling is a fun one, too of course. The act itself doesn't change really, and I feel the same way about it in either sort of relationship. I feel safe, warm, and happy. It just kind of depends of my feelings towards the person I'm cuddling whether I consider it a romantic act or not.

[Philip027]

Speaking as an ace, but still with enough "demi" tendencies to be on the fence:

I don't think it's something I would regularly do, at least not on my own. I'm not really a physically "driven" person. Maybe if one of us was feeling particularly distraught or something. Kinda like a power hug.

But it's besides the point, because none of my friends are people who live in proximity to me.

As far as *craving* it goes, that only happens for my current relationship partner

[just another fangirl]

I am certainly a cuddler but it is more "I'm sleepy and am using you as a pillow" than it is anything romantic

[KendraPM]

I love cuddles! In all it's many forms. And I cuddle with a variety of people, from friends, pets, family, and romantic interests. But to answer you questions;

(I feel the first one was answered already so moving on)

How affectionate are you ordinarily? Depends. I'm a naturally touch-orientated person. I like to hug, touch people on the arms, throw my leg across a lap, lay my head on someone's shoulder, all these things I do to show affection. However, I'm usually pretty good and sensing when someone isn't into being touched and will refrain. Also, if I'm not comfortable with you, I ain't touching you. I don't even want to shake your hand.

Is cuddling inately romantic? Not in the least. I cuddle with my friends, my family, random strangers I just met but really like (platonically) etc.

(This also more or less made the question N/A)

Does cuddling speed along romantic feelings? Yes and no. If there already is romantic feelings than yes. It's a bonding experience for me. It's a way to show affection and in doing so, strengthens the bond/feelings there, whatever they are.

Have I ever tried it just to try it? Not really...? I mean, I cuddled with my mom growing up, and my first fury pet and I cuddled regularly, so....there wasn't really an oppertunity to "try" it. I had cuddled before my earliest memory. It's not something I realized people hadn't already done at least one by the time you're a year old.