neongarbage Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 So I'm demisexual and I've only ever done anything remotely sexual with one person, my ex. (And even then all we did was make out pretty much) And now I'm having issues. I can't imagine myself "with" anyone but them sexually, and it's really frustrating because I'm trying to get over them and just be normal friends. Even if I force myself to put someone else there in my mind it doesn't work. I've only ever been physically attracted to like 3 people in my life so I really don't know how to deal with having it. I don't know I'm super confused and frustrated so please help Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Making out is not sexual; it can be but is not so by default. What is sexual is genital arousal in any direct or indirect way but just because your body can react with arousal/find things sexual doesn't make the cat sexual unless you want it done for them arousal. Physical attraction is an inaccurate word. It can be intended and interpreted as three different attractions; aesthetic, sensual, and sexual. The sexual public uses this and coined it because they feel all of their attractions at once, as well as it being a fundamental emotion to them which enforces their inability to see a point in looking any deeper. (Much like people not knowing that the faint taste in water is due to minerals, and pure H2O is literally tasteless-- though actually unhealthy because it will then absorb minerals from whatever it touches; i.e. damaging your mouth.) I'm confused on your wording, are you saying you can't imagine anyone sensually except these past 3 people or previous partner, or that your mind is going crazy with sensual thoughts of other people? Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 how long has it been? it was three years before I was truly "over" my one partner because of a bad breakup, and I'm not even romantic or sexual or nothing! getting over people isn't always a simple thing. the stupidest things would remind me of them... like taking the exit off the freeway... wtf? seriously brain. Link to post Share on other sites
neongarbage Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 Jesus fucking Christ star bit, could you be a little more condescending? I don't think I was unclear. You said making out isn't inherently sexual unless you want it to be, and I literally called it sexual so... And you know what I meant by physical so unless you can actually help, please refrain from being so pedantic. Please. Link to post Share on other sites
limabean Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Jesus fucking Christ star bit, could you be a little more condescending? I don't think I was unclear. You said making out isn't inherently sexual unless you want it to be, and I literally called it sexual so... And you know what I meant by physical so unless you can actually help, please refrain from being so pedantic. Please. +1 ---- Anyway, regarding your original post, I totally understand your frustration. I have definitely had the same problem... Trying to get over a friend feels impossible for me because I can't picture myself being attracted to anyone else ever--I only see them. And then on top of that I worry that if I do get over them, I will never feel that way about anyone again. That said, my only advice is to just try to wait it out. If it's not to painful/awkward to be friends with them then just try to separate your fantasies of being with them from the friendship the two of you have. If it is too painful/awkward, then maybe it would be a good idea to take some time away from them. That was the only way for me to get over my ex, even though I really wanted to be friends with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Hardly any Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 This happens to me. I can't imagine anyone else sexually, even people to whom I'm aesthetically attracted, and it is frustrating because I don't actually feel that way about my ex anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
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