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'You're more feminine'


An1

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After having a discussion with a relative about about my gender id, she stated that I appear to be 'more feminine' and thus an average-I don't know-woman? Idk if this is a way of saying, 'you can't be trans.' She elaborated that my voice and way of expressing myself to be 'feminine.' I was just like 'ok.' Yet according to several SAGE and Bem Sex Role results, I am overall androgynous. I've also taken BBC's sex brain test and their results have shown that I basically have a 'neuter' brain. Other people I've met face to face would consider me, 'masculine,' at least in appearance. Is my transition valid? I haven't told my family about my 'new' name yet btw. I've always seen my gender and gender expression to be 'balanced.' I remember when coming across the two words, masculine and feminine, I thought, 'I am neither.' Could the situation with the relative be similar to telling a trans woman who has transitioned two years ago that she 'still looks like a dude'? My gyn told me that I have a hormonal imbalance (high estrogen', and therefore suggested hormone therapy.

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So we have two possibilities here:

a) Your relative is mistaken about you in this one way and her perception of you is somewhat colored by the stereotypes of the gender she perceives you to be. Also, she might just be a little bit scared of you deviating from that perception of you because she thinks this means you'll become a different person (instead of just someone who expresses themselves a bit more while being the same person but more so), and might be saying this with the subconscious hope that it'll somehow help make you not trans so this scary 'change' with unknown consequences doesn't happen.

b) Your relative understands you and your gender better than even you do yourself and is the arbiter of your identity.

I think a is more likely than b.

No matter how masculine or feminine you are, your gender identity and any choice to transition and method of transition are valid. There are masculine cisgender women and feminine transsexual men and agender folk whom you'd never guess to be agender - presentation and behavior do not define one's gender.

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Gender expression isn't necessarily related to gender. Some people want to look cisgender in order not to be bullied, and some people just don't care if their gender expression matches their real gender. Anyway, if you're agender, I don't see how it's supposed to be less transgender than FtM or MtF just because it's non-binary, it's absurd, I don't get your family's logics.

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joshuaSunshine

There are feminine cis male and masculine cis females. A lot of people put too much emphasis on expression. How you feel when you lay your head down at the end of the day, that's what/who you are.

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