areadinggirl Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I was at a dance last night, and apparently one of my friends got a bit upset. I found out about it from my mother when I woke up. Supposedly, my friend is asexual. However, she's confused as to what exactly her orientation is (she was upset because she thought that she was attracted to a boy last night). Should I go talk to her about asexuality, and the spectrum? I'd like to, but I don't know if I'm ready to come out. Is there a way to discuss asexuality with her without outing myself? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pengwyn Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 If she is open about being ace, then you could say that that was the reason why you looked into asexuality. However, I think having a friend be ace would help her to not feel alone, and she may be more comfortable talking to you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Akira Jumps Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Of course! One of my friends was worried about another friend's boyfriend (I didn't know him) and that he might be asexual. She explained his situation, and I tried to help out as much as I could. Of course, this friend knows I'm asexual, but she asked because she knew I was informed on the matter (as well as different types of sexuality not just asexuality). You can definitely help your friend out. Keep the topic as matter-of-fact as possible; she'll know you're informed but not that you're asexual. Or you could come out, if you wanted to; but that's entirely your choice! :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
areadinggirl Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 In response to Pengywn, no, she's not out as ace. I literally just found out about it today. I went down for breakfast and my mom started the conversation with, "Do you know what asexuality is?" and I got toast stuck in my throat. Sooo...that happened. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Reading this and thinking (maybe selfishly) how awesome it would be if one of my friends came up to me one day and said, "I am asexual too" :( ^ I know that is very wrong ... It's just that being asexual gets hard sometimes....like right now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Slainmonkey Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I definitely think you should, because not not will it likely make her feel better about her own orientation but also should also make the bond between yous closer. Frankly it would be a great feeling to feel less alone about your own asexuality, I know I've wished to have an asexual friend who isn't online but I've never personally met some one in person who is. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LadyPariah Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 You don't have to if you are not comfortable with it. But I personally have only met 2 other asexuals in real life, and it is great to know I'm not the only onion ring in a box of fries (if that makes any sense at all.) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pengwyn Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 If she's not open about being asexual, then she won't tell anyone that you are asexual either. She'll want you to keep her asexuality a secret and will not mention yours, so there seems like there is no chance of other people finding out. I would recommend coming out, as it would give both you and her comfort without needing to come out to everyone else. However, you still don't have to come out. You could say that you are interested in sexualities so know about it that way. You could definitely comfort her without saying you are ace, but saying you are would probably help her. Whatever you do, best of luck. :cake: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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