Jump to content

Have you experienced physical attraction without sexual attraction?


Recommended Posts

Have any of you ever experienced physical attraction, or had a physiological response (eg. Blushing, heart fluttering, pulse racing) to anyone you consider 'attractive', for lack of better words?

Link to post
Share on other sites

All the time. I experience sensual attraction, but no sexual attraction.

Link to post
Share on other sites

All the time. I experience sensual attraction, but no sexual attraction.

But then what is exactly the difference between physical attraction and sensual attraction?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sensual attraction is experiencing an attraction to someone without wanting to have sex. You appreciate their looks and personality and are affected in a perfectly normal way

(Blushing, heart fluttering, etc which are normal body functions), but, with no thought of a sexual encounter.

Sexual attraction is exactly that: wanting to have sex

Supposedly, demisexuals may want to have sex after getting to know someone.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sensual attraction is experiencing an attraction to someone without wanting to have sex. You appreciate their looks and personality and are affected in a perfectly normal way

(Blushing, heart fluttering, etc which are normal body functions), but, with no thought of a sexual encounter.

Sexual attraction is exactly that: wanting to have sex

Supposedly, demisexuals may want to have sex after getting to know someone.

I understand the difference between sensual and sexual attraction. However, I don't really comprehend the difference between PHYSICAL and sexual attraction. What exactly is physical attraction, and when exactly does physical attraction turn into sexual attraction, and what are the differences between physical and sensual attraction? We already know that sensual and sexual attraction fall into two different categories, but I have seen people talk about physical attraction as something similar to the former two, yet very distinct from them. I am a young asexual who recently discovered her sexuality after years of confusion and soul searching, so bear with me, because there are many things I don't know and want to learn about.
Link to post
Share on other sites

I believe physical attraction is the same as sensual attraction. The heart racing and wanting to get to know, or be with someone.

They both define, simply, being attracted to someone.

Link to post
Share on other sites
thatotherguy57

I consider physical attraction a synonym for aesthetic attraction. It's like looking at sculpture, you can appreciate the aestheticism, but have no desire for anything beyond looking.

Link to post
Share on other sites
byanyotherusername

Having a physiological response is not tied to a specific type of attraction, if that's what you are trying to figure out. You can experience all of those things (blushing, heart racing) as symptoms of any of the attractions, really: aesthetic, sensual, romantic, sexual, platonic, etc. They are also symptoms of anxiety, so you don't necessarily have to be feeling any kind of attraction--I have sometimes felt that way during tests. XD

But, yes I have also felt "physical" attractions to people both in the sense of wanting to do nonsexual physical things to them (sensual attraction) and finding their physique appealing (aesthetic attraction).

Link to post
Share on other sites

I consider physical attraction a synonym for aesthetic attraction. It's like looking at sculpture, you can appreciate the aestheticism, but have no desire for anything beyond looking.

That is supposed to be aesthetic recognition ie, recognizing that something is beautiful. Eg. You can pass a stranger and think that they are good looking and continue walking in the opposite direction without giving them a second glance. Aesthetic attraction is more compelling; it draws your attention again and again. Eg. A straight woman walking in the mall sees another good looking woman with a killer fashion sense and keeps looking at her again and again and again.

Physical attraction is different from aesthetic attraction in the send that there's some physiological response.

Link to post
Share on other sites
The Lonely Hug Monster

I have that. A couple friends of mine have this soothing vibe when I look at them. It makes me want to snuggle with them and fall asleep in their laps.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm guessing physical attraction is a general term, or at least that's how I see it. What I mean is, sensual and sexual attraction fall under physical attraction.

Anyway, to answer the question in the first post, yes I have, plenty of times, to people I'm aesthetically attracted to usually. The physiological response only happened when I was around my ex-squish though. I'm also physically (sensually) attracted to cute puppies too, haha. But I've never experienced sexual attraction of course.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sure, I have. I don't experience much aesthetic attraction but I've had physical attraction to people I have an emotional connection with. Then again, I have a somewhat high libido so that thing kind of turns itself on whenever it wants to. Sometimes I can't tell what it's thinking so it could be coincidence too xD

Link to post
Share on other sites

To me that's exactly how I feel. I can be very attracted to a person but I've never felt sexually attracted to a person (wanting to have sex with that person).

Link to post
Share on other sites
Squirrel Combat

Yeah, I can experience physical attraction. It feels pretty good. :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have had no sexual attraction to any random 'hot' person but am / was attracted to some because of emotional / mental / imaginary proximities.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, o, yes! My avatar being the man in question.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep, I've definitely experienced that.

Sensual attraction is experiencing an attraction to someone without wanting to have sex. You appreciate their looks and personality and are affected in a perfectly normal way

(Blushing, heart fluttering, etc which are normal body functions), but, with no thought of a sexual encounter.

Tja, I thought sensual attraction was wanting to touch someone intimately (e.g. hugging, kissing etc) but not sexually? What you described sounds like what I would think of as romantic attraction. I'm not sure though.

Having names and labels for types of attraction seems a bit silly to me, because it's like we're putting them into rigid boxes and you really can't do that with human emotion. However, I suppose it is useful for sexual and romantic attraction when trying to explain asexuality.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel physical attraction to my dogs. I'm sure most mothers feel it toward their kids. Oxytocin, probably. Affection, not sexual attraction.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep, I've definitely experienced that.

Sensual attraction is experiencing an attraction to someone without wanting to have sex. You appreciate their looks and personality and are affected in a perfectly normal way

(Blushing, heart fluttering, etc which are normal body functions), but, with no thought of a sexual encounter.

Tja, I thought sensual attraction was wanting to touch someone intimately (e.g. hugging, kissing etc) but not sexually? What you described sounds like what I would think of as romantic attraction. I'm not sure though.

Having names and labels for types of attraction seems a bit silly to me, because it's like we're putting them into rigid boxes and you really can't do that with human emotion. However, I suppose it is useful for sexual and romantic attraction when trying to explain asexuality.

I'm still learning. ;) That is what I mean by sensual attraction. Wanting to do all the physical things, but not the actual sex part. Sorry if I was confusing. Physical...Sensual...hadn't thought they were different.

So...physical attraction is just being attracted to someone, while sensual attraction is wanting to be physical with them? Back to being confused. :huh:

Disregard my previous posts. I thought I had this down... :unsure::wacko::blink:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, but it never happens right away. As a demiromantic, I'm pretty much incapable of experiencing that sort of attraction to someone I don't know on an intimate level.

Once it reaches that point though, I tend to find the people beautiful, regardless of how they actually look in an objective sense. It's an appreciation of sorts that doesn't develop until the emotions do.

re: "physical attraction", I've just considered that a term (when used by AVEN) to denote sensual attraction (primarily for asexuals) and/or sexual attraction (primarily for sexuals), wherever applicable. It seems to me to be an encompassing term.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yah, that's called a physical response to romantic attraction. Some people react this way, others don't. Physical attraction is an inaccurate word. It can be intended and interpreted as three different attractions; aesthetic, sensual, and sexual. The sexual public uses this and coined it because they feel all of their attractions at once, as well as it being a fundamental emotion to them which enforces their inability to see a point in looking any deeper. (Much like people not knowing that the faint taste in water is due to minerals, and pure H2O is literally tasteless-- though actually unhealthy because it will then absorb minerals from whatever it touches; i.e. damaging your mouth.) Aesthetic attraction is a fixation on someone because of their looks and or mannerisms; having a pull to look at them. It is different from recognizing good looks/ what is "aesthetically pleasing" with no fixation. This does not mean a romantic or platonic relationship is desired but attractions can be felt with other attractions.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I give up. I'm Asexual. I don't have/want/need/desire sex. Let's just leave it at that. ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm an aro ace and yes I do experience this. with VERY FEW people, always the opposite gender, though I do get happy-happy squishes on the same gender.

I've worked as a freelance artist so I appreciate good form but I have no desire for candlelight dinners (silly) or sex (eeeew.)

It's like the joy I get when I see THIS DRESS, as I LOVE peacocks:

Gorgeous%20Peacock%20Dress_zpsc7jnpcbl.j

(OMG i love this dress :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: )

^^^^^See? I LOVE this dress and get all squealy dreamy happy when I see it. It doesn't need to fit me and I don't even need to wear it out anywhere. Ideally, it will just sit in my closet and look beautiful so I can open up my closet door once in a while, look at it and it will make me happy. LOL

Link to post
Share on other sites

You can experience all of those things (blushing, heart racing) as symptoms of any of the attractions, really: aesthetic, sensual, romantic, sexual, platonic, etc. They are also symptoms of anxiety, so you don't necessarily have to be feeling any kind of attraction--I have sometimes felt that way during tests. XD

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here. I think that most laypeople would view those reactions (blushing, heart racing) in another person's presence as evidence of sexual attraction. I think the reason that people here are resistant to this is that AVEN defines asexuality as the lack of sexual attraction. Here we go again with the problems around this definition.

To be completely fair, AVEN more specifically defines sexual attraction as "a desire to have sexual contact with someone else, to share our sexuality with them." However, this confuses people who define sexual attraction as in the physiological example above.

As I put in another thread:

I think the issue is not whether you experience feelings of sexual attraction (defined as an involuntary, subconscious reaction to sexual stimuli), it's whether you innately want to share these feelings with another person.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Batman's Ace

Oh yes, I love that feeling. There's this actor...my heart goes pit-pat, I get kind of breathless, I just want to be right next to him...but it's not romantic. Definitely not interested in him that way. I don't even specially think of him as good-looking. It's completely mysterious to me. Just it makes me feel all happy inside, so I don't mind it being mysterious.

Link to post
Share on other sites
byanyotherusername

You can experience all of those things (blushing, heart racing) as symptoms of any of the attractions, really: aesthetic, sensual, romantic, sexual, platonic, etc. They are also symptoms of anxiety, so you don't necessarily have to be feeling any kind of attraction--I have sometimes felt that way during tests. XD

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here. I think that most laypeople would view those reactions (blushing, heart racing) in another person's presence as evidence of sexual attraction. I think the reason that people here are resistant to this is that AVEN defines asexuality as the lack of sexual attraction. Here we go again with the problems around this definition.

To be completely fair, AVEN more specifically defines sexual attraction as "a desire to have sexual contact with someone else, to share our sexuality with them." However, this confuses people who define sexual attraction as in the physiological example above.

As I put in another thread:

I think the issue is not whether you experience feelings of sexual attraction (defined as an involuntary, subconscious reaction to sexual stimuli), it's whether you innately want to share these feelings with another person.

Well, most "laypeople" do not acknowledge that asexuality even exists, so if I defer to their opinion I'm in trouble. ;) That being said, I think most people do define sexual attraction the way we do, at least initially. If you ask someone who experiences sexual attraction what it is, they tend to say "feeling a sexual pull to someone/desiring sex with someone" or some version of that. Heart racing and the like may be a symptom of attraction, but it is probably not going to be anyone's first definition since that kind of physical response is by no means a requirement and does not happen every time a person experiences sexual attraction, nor does it happen solely because of sexual attraction.

There are "laypeople" who frequently experience physiological responses of this kind not connected to any kind of attraction and would agree that it is not automatically sexual. As I said, all of those symptoms are identical to symptoms of anxiety (in fact, experiencing them in connection to sexual attraction probably is a form of anxiety, at least in many cases--you find someone sexy and that is both exciting and nerve-wracking because you really want them to find you sexy back, and so you experience symptoms of anxiety). I know people who describe feeling that way during tests, public speaking, job interviews, etc. In a context such as a job interview, you may indeed be feeling these things "in another's presence" and as a direct result of that person, but it is not because you want to get sexy with them (most likely).

The body can react in the same way for different reasons. I sometimes yawn because I am tired, but I also might yawn when I'm not tired because I see someone else yawn, or even just because I read the word "yawn". For that matter, sometimes patients in comas yawn, because their body is trying to get more oxygen. Same bodily response, multiple causes. If your heart races whenever you see someone but the thought of having sex with them never enters your mind or does not seem appealing, then what is happening is most likely not sexual attraction.

On another note, an "involuntary, subconscious reaction to sexual stimuli" sounds more like arousal than attraction to me. The two are very different.

Link to post
Share on other sites
AlwaysADreamer

Absolutely. I get those flutters, I blush. There is definitely a physical reaction to some people, but it's definitely not sexual.

Link to post
Share on other sites
chuckylover911

Yes and no. I experience all the reactions you described. However, it isn't exclusive to people I find attractive. (My social anxiety is at fault.)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, most "laypeople" do not acknowledge that asexuality even exists, so if I defer to their opinion I'm in trouble. ;) That being said, I think most people do define sexual attraction the way we do, at least initially. If you ask someone who experiences sexual attraction what it is, they tend to say "feeling a sexual pull to someone/desiring sex with someone" or some version of that. Heart racing and the like may be a symptom of attraction, but it is probably not going to be anyone's first definition since that kind of physical response is by no means a requirement and does not happen every time a person experiences sexual attraction, nor does it happen solely because of sexual attraction.

There are "laypeople" who frequently experience physiological responses of this kind not connected to any kind of attraction and would agree that it is not automatically sexual. As I said, all of those symptoms are identical to symptoms of anxiety (in fact, experiencing them in connection to sexual attraction probably is a form of anxiety, at least in many cases--you find someone sexy and that is both exciting and nerve-wracking because you really want them to find you sexy back, and so you experience symptoms of anxiety). I know people who describe feeling that way during tests, public speaking, job interviews, etc. In a context such as a job interview, you may indeed be feeling these things "in another's presence" and as a direct result of that person, but it is not because you want to get sexy with them (most likely).

The body can react in the same way for different reasons. I sometimes yawn because I am tired, but I also might yawn when I'm not tired because I see someone else yawn, or even just because I read the word "yawn". For that matter, sometimes patients in comas yawn, because their body is trying to get more oxygen. Same bodily response, multiple causes. If your heart races whenever you see someone but the thought of having sex with them never enters your mind or does not seem appealing, then what is happening is most likely not sexual attraction.

On another note, an "involuntary, subconscious reaction to sexual stimuli" sounds more like arousal than attraction to me. The two are very different.

Interesting response. I agree on some points but not on others. I don't think the last definition is too close to arousal. What it refers to is a mental response: a positive pull of attention towards a particular stimulus. In contrast, sexual arousal is more clearly defined as the bodily response of the sexual organs (though it can have a mental element too). Most asexuals are capable of sexual arousal, so that's not the issue at stake.

The fact that we have to quibble over the definition of sexual attraction so much though is itself an indicator of its ambiguity. Is sexual attraction just a mental orienting of one's attention? Or is it a specific desire for sharing our sexuality with another person? Even your two examples represent different positions: ""feeling a sexual pull to someone [a mental orienting]/desiring sex with someone [a mental desire]".

Link to post
Share on other sites

If by "physical attraction" you mean "physical reaction" yes. I generally find this an uncomfortable happening as it usually happens with persons whom I would otherwise have no possible "sexual attraction" to. I would consider this a generally "sex averse" situation. This has led to some uncomfortable situations and discussions with my spouse.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...