Ciderman Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Hoping someone has insight into this.i feel I am possibly asexual but am confused as i do have a sex drive but only once a month at best.im a straight man in my 40s and it has always been the same for me.i find it hard to have a relationship as I still feel the need to be loved and enjoy all other parts like holding hands etc but feel inadequate as feel I let any woman I date down.do people feel by reading this that I am indeed asexual and if any pointers to where I can find other people with the same so that maybe I could find some companionship as it's a lonely life. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Some asexuals have a sex drive. I'm afraid nobody else could (and shouldn't) tell you what your sexual orientation is, whether that be asexual or not, other than yourself, but we would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. This is a great site to befriend people, but not a dating site, if you are interested in dating, I heard of acebook. I don't have one myself, but some people use it. Also, OKCupid has that asexual option. Also, perhaps you may be interested in this thread? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stonehengegirl Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Welcome to AVEN.I hope you can find some answers here about asexuality that will give you comfort. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Do you mean sex drive as in a drive to have sex or misunderstand it to mean masturbation drive? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Larien Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 This thread has been moved from the For Sexual Partners, Friends and Allies forum to Asexual Q&A. Larien, SPFA moderator Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Brianna Schultz Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Sure you can still be asexual. Having a libido or wanting sex from time to time doesn't change that. But as others said, only you can decide! If you feel comfortable with the word and the community, feel free to join us :) And there's several identities under the asexual spectrum for people who experience sexual attraction sometimes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Um, yes wanting sex from time to time DOES change that; that would be sexual attraction and asexual is NO sexual attraction. Low sex drive can be a type of Gray-Asexual but it's more specifically called Hyposexual. (HSDD and simply being Hyposexual are two different things) Also, to the OP, if this is how you meant sex drive, is this desire for sex blind/not brought on by anyone in paticular, or is it triggered by a person. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Dreaming Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 OP, I know how you feel. Too many broken hearts in my past, all of whom I let down. I don't want to do the same again, but it's a lonely life, for sure. All I can say is that perhaps by coming to this realisation you will find some sense of peace. All the broken pieces of the past will make sense. And in the future, with a better understanding of your own reality, maybe you can find a happiness based on a truer understanding of yourself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AmoebaAlice Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Hoping someone has insight into this.i feel I am possibly asexual but am confused as i do have a sex drive but only once a month at best.im a straight man in my 40s and it has always been the same for me.i find it hard to have a relationship as I still feel the need to be loved and enjoy all other parts like holding hands etc but feel inadequate as feel I let any woman I date down.do people feel by reading this that I am indeed asexual and if any pointers to where I can find other people with the same so that maybe I could find some companionship as it's a lonely life. First, Ciderman, know that you are definitely not alone in feeling what you described. I was recently reading from the Asexual Perspectives page, and this post http://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=node/21 and a few others helped reaffirm where I fall on the spectrum. The metaphors lay it out really well. As others have mentioned there is a difference between sexual attraction for someone, sexual desire for someone, and sexual urge or drive for yourself. It may help you to try to pinpoint which of those you feel and which you don't. I'm a 29 yr old female, and aside from maybe once or twice a month (which I believe is probably at the hormonal peak of the lady-cycle) I have no actual urge for anything sexual for myself. At the same time, I know also that I don't have sexual attraction or desire for other people, but that I do have romantic attraction and romantic desire (wanting a romantic relationship and intimacy) with other people. Romance and affection and intimacy can definitely be had without sex. I feel pretty confident currently that I'm in the gray-a range (but that's mostly because some days I wake up feeling more asexual than I did the day before). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whocaresthough Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Sounds like you're grey-A, though I can't be the one to tell you your orientation. Maybe look it up and see if it matches? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.