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How do you even: Casual Sex?


Wyrmcraft

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Its more of a physical thing for me, I can't explain it well...just a bodily urge thats been nagging me long enough I feel like maybe I should try and fulfill it. Who knows, the worst that happens is I find out I don't want to do this ever again, the best that happens is I'm satisfied enough to try again.

I'm shy and a little nervous at this whole prospect but I think its a decent idea. I don't think I could pay someone though, that feels wrong. It has to be something mutual, at least for me. I dislike buying things from people.

I guess it doesn't matter whether or not the girl was physically attractive in the conventional manner, everyone is themselves and perfection is darn hard to find...but I will admit to having preferences. I prefer my fellow nerds, glasses, imperfections, and all. Plus I'm barely 120 pounds so I want someone who isn't liable to crush me. I don't think I could have sex with someone I wasn't either biologically or emotionally attracted to...

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I don't suppose you could have like "casual cuddles" or anything right? And (pardon my ignorance) but why would someone prefer casual sex over masturbation? If it's solely about feeling good (little to no intimacy), isn't masturbation a far quicker and easier prospect?

Well, there are cuddle parties, and it's not unheard of for people (both sexual and asexual) to have cuddle buddies. If you went to a club and tried to pick people up for cuddles, though, I imagine that wouldn't work very well. :P

There are cuddle parties. There is cuddlr, which is tindr, but for cuddles instead of hookups. And there are cuddleries. So, yes, casual cuddles are totally a thing.

As for if EVERYONE could do casual sex... mmm. Well, I COULD ... probably... but I have no reason to. And it would be horribly awkward for no reward. I know the one time I was offered casual, no strings attached sex I totally froze up, ran out of the house of the guy who just kissed me and offered and hyperventilated in the kitchen when I got home. So, it's not for everyone, no. :)

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Lord Jade Cross

The only plausible scenario in which maybe, just maybe I could see myself wanting sex would be in a relationship for the element of trust that (should) comes with it. However, even then, I would need to: 1) discuss it at lenght with my partner (not that I think anyone would want to be my partner) to make sure things go as smoothly as possible and 2) to actually be comfortable with sex because I don't think I would do it as a "to make my partner happy" if I was not ok with it.

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Casual cuddles would be awesome too, I didn't know there were options for that though.

Honestly half the reason I was thinking about casual sex was just for some physical contact, I'm pretty touch starved. If there is a network for just cuddling though, that sounds lovely. I knew there was a network for casual sex, I didn't realize there was one for cuddles ^_^

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Casual cuddles would be awesome too, I didn't know there were options for that though.

Honestly half the reason I was thinking about casual sex was just for some physical contact, I'm pretty touch starved. If there is a network for just cuddling though, that sounds lovely. I knew there was a network for casual sex, I didn't realize there was one for cuddles ^_^

I know the feeling. I hope you find someone to be with..

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Semtex in August

casual sex? ahh yes, I remember having casual sex

The girl had a white cat named Coco

very nice cat that was rather kind to me and made me feel welcome, even though I was a stranger

I felt like I was in a movie

the way this girl that I just met kept saying my name

weirded me out

the next day I felt numb and kind of empty

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Lord Jade Cross

I don't suppose you could have like "casual cuddles" or anything right? And (pardon my ignorance) but why would someone prefer casual sex over masturbation? If it's solely about feeling good (little to no intimacy), isn't masturbation a far quicker and easier prospect?

Well, there are cuddle parties, and it's not unheard of for people (both sexual and asexual) to have cuddle buddies. If you went to a club and tried to pick people up for cuddles, though, I imagine that wouldn't work very well. :P

There are cuddle parties. There is cuddlr, which is tindr, but for cuddles instead of hookups. And there are cuddleries. So, yes, casual cuddles are totally a thing.

As for if EVERYONE could do casual sex... mmm. Well, I COULD ... probably... but I have no reason to. And it would be horribly awkward for no reward. I know the one time I was offered casual, no strings attached sex I totally froze up, ran out of the house of the guy who just kissed me and offered and hyperventilated in the kitchen when I got home. So, it's not for everyone, no. :)

This would probably be how I would react if I were put in the same situation right now.
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The irony .... A discussion about casual sex on an asexual forum.

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Lord Jade Cross

No different than the discussions about not wanting sex in sex forums that I have seen. It is very helpful nonetheless :)

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Smoke weed....it will keep you clear headed, totally make the urge more intense, and smoking in bed with a girl would be hella sexy. Drunk sex seems icky. High sex seems downright delectable.

Wait that is awful advice...don't listen to me.

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Casual cuddles would be awesome too, I didn't know there were options for that though.

Honestly half the reason I was thinking about casual sex was just for some physical contact, I'm pretty touch starved. If there is a network for just cuddling though, that sounds lovely. I knew there was a network for casual sex, I didn't realize there was one for cuddles ^_^

Yep, there is even a fundraiser going on for a cuddlecon (first one ever) to be held in Portland by the local cuddlery owner (a cuddlery is a professional shop you can go to, to pay for a person to cuddle with for an hour or more) to celebrate non-sexual physical affection. :D

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Damn, I didn't find this thread until now, but I just want to say: I agree with almost everything Skullery said.

Casual sex is virtually all I have anymore, and it's drunk (with the intention of having drunk casual sex as an open option, hence consented) and in another town. That way I can solidly avoid ever running into that person again.

Now, about the consent...I might not always end up having sex with a specific person I would've wanted to have sex with sober, but it's never been something so obvious as "yeah, there's no way I could've wanted to go near that guy at any functional level of drunk". Perhaps that's because I don't get dysfunctionally drunk in public. Otherwise how could I function through the sex? (Yes, I realize as a woman there's little "function" required in some cases, but at that point it pretty much is date rape if I'm not sober enough to physically participate.)

And about the not really wanting it but having it anyway, that's usually the case for me. I want sex for the adventure, but it doesn't pleasure me like it does for most. Hence, I don't always count it as a score or an accomplishment, but just something I did with (so far) little to no consequence.

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Brianna Schultz

Are you sure you want casual sex and the many many risks that go with it to be your boost in body confidence?

I'm not against casual sex but I'd never ever do it, myself. Far too many things that can happen before you even get to the bedroom, let alone what could happen while you're in there.

(Sorry I couldn't be of any help in the way that you wanted. I'm a nervous Nellie and I'd just fear for your health/safety at this point)

This :S as a teen I was insecure and always tried to fit in and be "heterosexual" and be in relationships and have sex because it was "the cool thing" to do and if you didn't do it you must have been an ugly loser. All in all it wasn't a good experience. It didn't give me much confidence. Also hurt feelings, lower self esteem, STDs, accidental pregnancy, etc. can result.

Have you looked into better methods of improving your body image? Fixing things you dislike? Trying some body positive exercises? Maybe switching something up? When I'm feeling down a new hair style usually brightens my mood. A simple cut and color can do wonders.

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"casual sex" or by another name "hookups" is just something I could not do :o (and I don't even consider myself to be 100% asexual)

I could only even begin to consider sex if it was someone who was 'more than a friend', and I had known for some time.

"casual cuddles" (never seen that phrase til just now .lol ) .. um .. doesn't sound of much interest to me. I think I'd really need a close friend before I'd want to cuddle with them..

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And about the not really wanting it but having it anyway, that's usually the case for me. I want sex for the adventure, but it doesn't pleasure me like it does for most. Hence, I don't always count it as a score or an accomplishment, but just something I did with (so far) little to no consequence.

Does not compute. Illogical. Power failure to dilithium crystal. Cannot reroute. *shutdown*.

I think i understand less about it than when I started reading this thread.

Moving on.........

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Honestly, what I need is Confidence, not image. I'm typically fine with the way I look, I just have been known to panic when people touch me without my consent. I've been getting better over the years, but I figured that willingly touching strangers might be a way to over-come my lack of confidence and panic response.

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Lord Jade Cross

Please take the following as just my very personal opinion but that last post would worry me. Seeing as I went through it myself once, attempting to have casual sex as a way to get rid of the discomfort that people touching me caused and it backfired miserably, I would advise againts it and suggest other ways to gain confidence.

At least with me, the event didn't change anything and people touching me still greatly bothers me. I'm happy to greet people so long as they keep a good 10 feet away from me. I also absolutely hate being touched without prior consent. I don't care if its co worker, friend or even family, I hate being touched.

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I don't mind being touched, but I've frozen in the past when touched unexpectedly or endearingly. I want to work on that, and the only way I think I really can is through willingly accepting touch and focusing on being in the moment. Its far too easy for my mind to simply slip elsewhere...I need to find a good way to get my brain in the present and just feel instead of think...so I want to at least give some kind of cuddling a try if not going all the way.

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