found a term, and i like it (placiosexual)

[MoraDollie]

Placiosexual:

One feels little to no desire to receive sexual acts but expresses interest/desire in performing them on someone else.

I found this term while browsing tumblr and honestly? I'm in love with it :)

[Guest]

Nah... I'll just stick with "giver, never recipient". That's a mere two additional syllables for a lot easier to understand communication. And it doesn't make it sound like an orientation. (Orientations answer the question with whom, not how, so no, placio- isn't one.)

But as long as you don't call it an orientation... well, whatever floats your boat of calling yourself, right? I know sometimes finding a label feels good... even though this particular one feels a bit much, for me personally. ;)

[MoraDollie]

Whelp ,there goes demisexual and graysexual then, according to that

[Guest]

Whelp ,there goes demisexual and graysexual then, according to that

Indeed. It doesn't make sense to call these orientations, either. They're qualifiers, not statements, about one's partner preference; it makes infinitely more sense to call sapio- an orientation than demi-.

(Before the howling starts - saying that they aren't orientations doesn't make them not real. It just makes them not orientations.)

[nanoCat]

If it is what makes you happy and gives you a better sense of identity then go with it.

Personally I feel these 'Tumblr words' often only serve any purpose within the community they were invented. The end result seems to be a spaghetti of "in-words" that have no hope to be understood by the general public without deep immersion in the subject, just as the general public isn't expected to know computer science or brain surgery jargon. As long as you're a computer scientist or a brain surgeon you'll know what they mean. But I'm biased as I have a horrible opinion of Tumblr.

[Frac]

Isn't this like stone butches, but for all genders/sexualities?

[MoraDollie]

I think the term is well fitting for actual sex acts, rather than attraction.

[Cale]

What's the opposite: the term for someone who likes to receive but not to give?

[Sally]

I think the term is well fitting for actual sex acts, rather than attraction.

A priori, not an orientation.

[Lost247365]

Pretty cool term actually.

[Custos]

Oh my gosh! Whoa, I didn't think there was a word for that at all! I reckon that kind of fits me! I'm not a huge fan of the wide variety of sexual/romantic/gender labels (though people are totally entitled to fit into any community/identity they wish and I respect that, I just feel human complexity cannot be confined in singular terms) but it's nice when someone else identifies as something you agree with. I'm someone who get's indifferent and bored at the prospect of having someone "go down on me" in any way. But I've never been too against the idea of pleasing someone else. Because at the end of the day, that's what I want to do, please another, and if in a case it may happen to be sexual, if I'm happy and close to them, I wouldn't be totally disinclined. It's still something I'm confused about but I'm glad for you for finding the word!! :D

[Rustmyer]

I had to think about this one a bit, but yeah I like it. I can't say it describes me the best I do enjoy receiving but I much prefer to give.

What's the opposite: the term for someone who likes to receive but not to give?

Selfish

[Thae86]

CN: cis/heteronormativity sex, sex talk, arousal, toxic masculinity

I love this too, as when it comes to "making me come"/wev bullshit toxic masculinity crap they're teaching cis men these days, just fills me with anxiety/shame. Look, you're not going to "make" me to anything, so lemme just do stuff for you. And frankly, way more turned on by feeling/empathizing with my partner's arousal then focusing on me. Thank you for sharing :)

[Guest]

What's the opposite: the term for someone who likes to receive but not to give?

Selfish

That's needlessly harsh. Especially as such "selfish" people sound like by far the best possible sex partners to me, period. If a woman isn't okay with "lie back, relax, and enjoy" being pretty much her entire role in bed, we simply won't be compatible on a sexual level.

[FtW]

This fits me pretty well, but I don't like the term. Is it wrong of me to just just say greyA and never actually define how and what I am??

[Copper]

This fits me pretty well, but I don't like the term. Is it wrong of me to just just say greyA and never actually define how and what I am??

Not at all. It's up to the individual whether to use any term. At the moment I'm going without any label until I feel more comfortable with identifying myself.

[FtW]

I've just never thought I'd need to identify as anything to anyone other than my partner when I have one. And then it's just easier to explain how far I'm willing to go and set expectations.

[Rustmyer]

What's the opposite: the term for someone who likes to receive but not to give?

Selfish

That's needlessly harsh. Especially as such "selfish" people sound like by far the best possible sex partners to me, period. If a woman isn't okay with "lie back, relax, and enjoy" being pretty much her entire role in bed, we simply won't be compatible on a sexual level.

It was mainly supposed to be a joke. I'm sorry if it in some way offended you. It wasn't my intention.

[Guest]

It was mainly supposed to be a joke. I'm sorry if it in some way offended you. It wasn't my intention.

Ah, okies then. Sometimes jokes/sarcasm just don't translate well through text, without tone.

[Rustmyer]

It was mainly supposed to be a joke. I'm sorry if it in some way offended you. It wasn't my intention.

Ah, okies then. Sometimes jokes/sarcasm just don't translate well through text, without tone.

Very true. ^_^

[binary suns]

It was mainly supposed to be a joke. I'm sorry if it in some way offended you. It wasn't my intention.

Ah, okies then. Sometimes jokes/sarcasm just don't translate well through text, without tone.

Very true. ^_^

I laughed :D altho I probably should admit I didn't realise it was a joke either xD

Whelp ,there goes demisexual and graysexual then, according to that

Indeed. It doesn't make sense to call these orientations, either. They're qualifiers, not statements, about one's partner preference; it makes infinitely more sense to call sapio- an orientation than demi-.

(Before the howling starts - saying that they aren't orientations doesn't make them not real. It just makes them not orientations.)

oh, I actually rather agree with this assessment. How do you feel AVEN falls on agreeing or disagreeing with this view?

[Guest]

Whelp ,there goes demisexual and graysexual then, according to that

Indeed. It doesn't make sense to call these orientations, either. They're qualifiers, not statements, about one's partner preference; it makes infinitely more sense to call sapio- an orientation than demi-.

(Before the howling starts - saying that they aren't orientations doesn't make them not real. It just makes them not orientations.)

oh, I actually rather agree with this assessment. How do you feel AVEN falls on agreeing or disagreeing with this view?

Dunno, really. My best guess is that it's something folks are rather split on, but it's not important enough for most people to controversially discuss unless it happens to come up in discussions (like it did here).

[Someone Else]

Interesting term.
Could placiosexual be like a person who prefers touching over being touched?

[ThaddeusScreams]

Awesome! I've actually been looking for a term like this for a few years. I kind of brushed against "stone," but I'm not a lesbian or even a woman, so I was worried that I might be appropriating it and wanted a word that I didn't have to worry about that with.

Now I want to know if there's a word for the people I tend to do better with (the people who want to receive, but not give) besides "pillow queen." The only person I've ever talked to directly who fits that concept is nonbinary as well and doesn't much care for the "queen" and the fact that some people do equate it with selfish in a serious way.

[scarletlatitude]

Generally the opinion of AVEN is that labels are your personal decision and should be respected as such. As long as you aren't trying to force someone into a label, or you aren't saying that a label doesn't exist, then you are okay.

@Kumo -- I'm glad you found a word that is right for you! :)

[Star Bit]

The term Stone should just be orientation universal. I have no idea on the lesbian community's opinion on that though.

But as people said on one of my threads, and i agree, sexualities should apply to sexual attraction and not sexual acts/preferences. So I'm fine with there being a title for it, it just shouldn't be a sexual orientation/have a sexual suffix. But how do your threads on this topic not catch fire?

@Mysticus Insanus

I would call them sub-orientations.

[Rabger]

Late to the game but I just found this post after looking up "Placio" after I heard someone use it somewhere else.

Glad to see it noted that this type of thing is called "stone" in the lesbian community. It's more commonly linked to butch women, but not always. A stone is someone that gives sexually but is not interested in receiving and is often uncomfortable being touched sexually.

I've found that a stone person can be either sexual or asexual. After all, orientation isn't about sexual activity but about attractions and desires. One of my friends is a stone and she's highly sexual, homosexual through and through from what she tells me.

[nanogretchen4]

I wouldn't describe myself as stone because receiving isn't off the menu for me, I just think of it as more of a side dish. On the other hand, just because I'm femme is no reason I can't do the fun part.

[Star Bit]

If it's not off the menu then wouldn't it just be normal?

[nanogretchen4]

Normal enough, sure. I don't think it's an orientation, anyway. If someone is a stone butch, her orientation is lesbian. The other two words describe her gender presentation and what she does and does not like to do. I never heard anyone call that an orientation. Actually, if you asked me my orientation, I'd say bisexual. I think I am demisexual, but I consider that more of a descriptive term than an orientation. But I am not the label police, so others can identify however they want to.