ladybaelish1 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 So after trying out a few dating websites (blah) I have realized something and it's a little confusing to me now where I fall on the Ace spectrum.. I have exclusively dated men my whole life, that is what I have always preferred. However, taking sex out of the equation now I realize that the gender of the person i am with doesn't matter to me. I do think that even if I am asexual and don't have the same sexual desires as most people, attraction is important. There has to be some type of chemistry for me. This part now seems to more often include females than it did before. So now I am even more confused about what type of asexual category I fit in to. And it's not to say that just because I realized I'm asexual I suddenly decided to start liking girls, I have been attracted to females in the past and have usually formed closer bonds with females as opposed to men. I just want to be open and honest with someone that I may or may not date and I'm really not sure what to say or do in that situation. "are you a lesbian" no, i don't consider myself a lesbian "are you heterosexual" i don't consider myself exclusively heterosexual either. what the fuck am i? a goose?! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fish of hearts Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Whom we're romantically or aesthetically attracted to doesn't always line up with with whom we're sexually attracted to. Taking sex out of the equation doesn't make someone automatically panromantic. Romantic bondings and sexual attractions are actually two systems in the brain, and while they may align for many people, they don't for others. (This is one of the reasons I prefer "androromantic" to the more restrictive "heteroromantic.") That said, I have no doubt that attraction for some people has been seriously hindered by a heteronormative society, and I applaud your newfound freedom to explore other genders as possible partners/connections. It sounds like you might be bi- or panromantic graysexual. Or a panromantic grey goose. ^_^ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
passionatefriend61 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Technically, if you are capable of romantic attraction to both men and women, you're biromantic asexual--and if you're willing to come out as bisexual, I don't see why you wouldn't just come as a biromantic asexual, even if that involves more explanation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MacAran Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It sounds like you might be bi- or panromantic graysexual. Or a panromantic grey goose. ^_^ If you must be a vodka, there are worse options than Grey Goose out there. It sounds to me like biromanticism, or panromanticism depending on your taste and preference. Alas bisexuals are probably told by much of society that they don't exist more than asexuals are. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ladybaelish1 Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 This place is so great. I love that I can ask questions like this and get honest conversation and answers as opposed to strange looks or negativity. I suppose I should just see where things go from here. I am considering moving to a different state as being here just seems to fuel my depression. Maybe that alone will open more doors for me to figure things out. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gallantrv2427 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Yeah I'd say you're either Panromantic (Does your gender carelessness include the whole spectrum or just male/female?) or Biromantic :) Both are beautiful! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CathMaybe Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I say im a panromantic asexual cuz i never got the whole gender thing it just never mattered really lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
That asexual guy Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I simply call myself asexual. Nothing more. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ladybaelish1 Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 Yeah I'd say you're either Panromantic (Does your gender carelessness include the whole spectrum or just male/female?) or Biromantic :) Both are beautiful! Honestly I don't care, male, female, trans, somewhere in between, doesn't matter. I just want to find someone who understands my situation and I can understand their situation and we can be happy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gallantrv2427 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Yeah I'd say you're either Panromantic (Does your gender carelessness include the whole spectrum or just male/female?) or Biromantic :) Both are beautiful! Honestly I don't care, male, female, trans, somewhere in between, doesn't matter. I just want to find someone who understands my situation and I can understand their situation and we can be happy. Thats basically how I define myself, and I identify as Panromantic Ace. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 a lot of people seem to like this graphic, i did when I first came here and someone shared it with me ^_^ let me tell you about my asexuality, as an example :) I am aromantic and asexual. that means that I don't feel attraction in a romantic or sexual way. I feel demisensual attraction, which means that sometimes when I get close to a person, I begin to feel sensual attraction to them. I want to brush up against them or cuddle with them in some way, as a form of physical affirmation. I want to be in a queerplatonic relationship someday... I want to be closer to someone than just a peer or friend. I want to be their family, basically, but it isn't out of romantic or sexual attraction. so I am an aro/ace interested in a QPR, that is my orientation ^_^ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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