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Llamaflower1980

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Llamaflower1980

Hi everyone :) I am new to this website and am still wondering if the term 'asexual' describes me. Just to throw some info out there, I am a girl, in high school.

I have read the FAQ and other posts about asexuality and I learned so much. I started tk think, "Wait. What if this describes... me?"

I have always been a supporter of LGBTQIA rights (only recently was I aware of what Q, I and A stood for), but I never thought I would actually BE anything but an ally. I am trying to understand if I truly am asexual or if I will discover something else in due time. To be honest, it's a bit scary. I should probably point out that I have never had a boyfriend or ever kissed anyone, nor am i against those things. I just always felt uncomfortable talking about or even thinking about sex (or if i would be pressured by a future boyfriend to have sex).

I have talked to my family (mainly my mom and dad) a bit about how I feel about sex in general before. They basically told me that that would probably change once i started dating. And I know that it MIGHT. I just don't know if I am asexual because I am still young and have never been involved in any direct sexual situations.

My best friend came out as pansexual a few months ago. That got me thinking about LGBTQIA and... i only recently started questioning if i could be anything other than straight.

Any advice/comments/suggestions/welcomes would be awesome, thanks :)

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WünderBâhr

Hi there, and welcome to AVEN :cake:

I am not sure if you are asexual, given such little information and the potential of development (age/experience) that could change your feelings toward sex. There is always the possibility, however slight, that you may not be, under those circumstances, BUT.. there is also not much else to go on to definitively say that you aren't either. So, instead, I can share my experiences from my youth.

I have said in the past, and heard many members say, that I've sort of always known that I was asexual. I didn't know the word for it, but my attitude and feelings toward others was more about affection than it was ever about sex. During those raging hormone teen years, I was less like Kirk and more like Spock (nerd reference ftw) in that I really didn't understand what the hype was all about.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed kissing when it happened, and knew early on that I had nothing but romantic bones in my body. None of that, however, related to sex in the same way as my peers. A fact which I became increasingly aware of as time went on. Being a girl (though identifying as agender/gender indifferent, now), I figured it was partly how I was raised and that maybe I was just a late bloomer.

That is, until yrs later, after a couple of relationships, those feelings never came. I mean, I loved my partners and was willing to compromise, as bonding with them made me happy, but it just wasn't the same as what everyone else seemed to be experiencing. And then, I found AVEN.

Lo and behold, there was a community of people with experiences that sounded a hell of a lot like mine! For once, I kind of felt normal and understood in my sexuality, or the seeming lack of it.

Now, I don't know if that resonates with you. If you eventually begin to feel differently, or find that you experience sexual attraction down the line, you won't be chased out with torches and pitchforks. :p Part of why AVEN exists is to help people while they're searching for answers. Whether or not those answers lead them to identify the same or differently than a percentage of the community is left to individual experience and nothing anyone else can say for certain. And we do have sexual members (a variety of varieties in our membership), so you'd be more than welcome to stick around, if that became the case.

Either way, we're glad to have you. :) Have some more :cake: !

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