Sexual Attraction and Cake

[Holly Hobbie]

I'm brand new to Asexuality, I have know for a long time I see sex very differently from most people, but I'm a little weird in many ways. I'm just so confused about sexual attraction and would love if people who do experience sexual attraction could explain it to me.

I'm getting the idea it could be a bit like yummy food. So if I'm eyeing up the desserts, and I'm imagining how good they are going to taste, they might be crunchy, or sticky, maybe tangy or fluffy, but certain ones appeal to me and I really want to eat them up - even if I'm not hungry. I see them, smell them, want them, is this like sexual attraction? You see this person and you want them?

I'm just so confused, I really thought all this crazy oversexed world was a bit 'Emperor's New Clothes' I thought most of them were pretending, or it was like a poor excuse for a good hobby.

Many years ago, I went to Manpower - a male strip show. I mainly went so people would stop 'wondering' about me, I hadn't had a boyfriend for years, and there was a lot of Lesbian speculation. I thought the strippers were good looking - I had cheap taste then! I saw them as awww cute, and imagined holding hands and playing video games with them. All the girls were screaming and telling of how horny they felt. I quite frankly didn't believe them. They thought it was a great prize to have the strippers genital zone to be smushed into their face, I thought that as repulsive at best, perhaps even close to an assault.

Cake is so much better than sex :)

[Lost247365]

Welcome to Aven!

Wish I could answer your questions but I have never experienced it myself. How about we split a piece of cake and ponder about it together

[Star Bit]

Through deductions, sexual attraction seems to come down to someones presence being sexually arousing and desiring/having the impulse to do sexual things to/with that person.

[iamaoife]

I agree with Star, from what I've concluded its something like that... Allosexuals see people that they find sexually attractive and want to sleep with them. I know it's confusing, but isn't that part of it really? That we'll probably never fully understand it. As has been said before... It's hard to identify something that is 'missing'.

Sometimes I'm like 'sure ok I get that...' When someone explains it, but other times I'm like 'yeah ok... But why????'

Haha I don't know...

Anyways, welcome to AVEN :)

[Star Bit]

Actually i recently found out it is in fact exactly that from seeing a sex therapist's speach. She said that the partners forget they enjoy sex/nolonger want to partake in it because they are nolonger aroused by their partner's presence but enjoy the act once it happens. So the arousal triggers sexual impulses and both are typically needed.

[Holly Hobbie]

I guess I just want to understand what nonaesexuals feel, just to clarify what I feel is different. I really thought for all this time that people were just making it up or maybe influenced by a super sexualized culture or maybe just really shallow.

I mentioned the cake analogy because I know a person who eats but really dosn't care what he eats. Obviously he has to eat to live, but food does nothing for him, he dosn't have his head turned by smells, sights or fantasies of food. He finds the experience of being hungry to being satiated pleasant enough, but that's it.

If I was told there was no more cake I would seiously be depressed, but if I could go through life without the threat of sex, I'd be one happy girl!

Yes I call it a threat, cos, it seems like that to me, it's so expected, like you are so abnormal for not gaging for it. I have quite an aversion these days, partly due to having sexual relationships I didn't want but thought it was something I had to do.