am I the only one who doesn't understand porn?

[russian_enigma]

Seriously I do not understand why people watch it?? Or how can people be addicted to it? I know a couple of guys who told me they have or had an addiction to pornography, but why are they addicted to watching other people have sex? It is beyond me, I'm just wondering if anyone else feels this way. Btw I have watched a little bit of porn before, it was on accident though and I wasn't interested in it.

[Sutaomiiru]

Welcome to the club. To me, porn is nothing but disgusting.

[Avistew]

It's not the easiest thing to explain, but I'll give it a try. Humans have some "reflective" behaviours. So, when someone yawns, other people usually yawn. When someone throws up, it can make you throw up. When someone smiles, usually, it makes you smile. And so on.

Porn is using a similar thing. Allosexual people tend to get aroused by watching others having sex, or other people being aroused. It's not something you can understand if you don't feel that way. But it makes as much sense as the other behaviours. For instance if someone in the tribe (in the past) was poisoned and threw up, other people, who may have ingested the same poison, would be compelled to also get rid of it. Yawning causes you to breathe more air, so if air is scarce and it causes one person to yawn, other around would too in order to get more oxygen. And if someone is aroused, especially a woman, that can mean she's ovulating and so men tend to respond to porn the most, because when women are aroused is the best time to impregnate them (because human sexuality is complicated and not everything "makes sense", this same instinct also happens in gay men, despite the fact those men obviously aren't ovulating).

That's why men tend to react strongly to porn, if they're allosexual. Some women respond strongly too, but it's more rare.

[TheWheatOne]

Its the same concept of smelling a food's aroma and getting hungry, salivating, your mind wanders about various tastes, and so forth.

Sex does this to a rather extreme degree. It is after all, how our body forces us to pass on our genes when it sees the opportunity. And so, when we see the act right before us, it "turns us on". Heat. Hot. Instinctual. etc.....

Its hardly the only emotion or compulsion humans experience, so you should be able to grasp it. Have you ever been afraid before, of imagined things, of bacteria eating flesh, or a burglar in the dark? Our body and minds react very strongly to these, to the point where we can't control it even if we can rationally say we have nothing to fear.

How about anger at even the most trivial thing, like someone littering or having a disagreeable opinion. It eats at our thoughts long after the event has happened even if there is nothing we can do about it.

The most direct example though is probably an addiction, say to alcohol or smoking, where it is hard to quit. Being around things that remind us of it, be it directly or indirectly (like other people smoking or seeing a car's exhaust), it makes our mind race at having to eventually have it.

[SkyWorld]

No, you're not the only one. Other than making me feel bored, disgusted and ill, porn did absolutely nothing for me. I guess that went to further prove my lack of libido.

I'll be honest, there's a lot of things I don't understand and even if I try to, I may still not understand it, but I would at least accept it. It's like, "add that to the list of things that I fail to understand!" Similar to someone disliking a food that I really enjoy or vice versa and them not understanding why I like said food so much. Some people like it, some don't. *shrugs*

[Kalidas]

It's not the easiest thing to explain, but I'll give it a try. Humans have some "reflective" behaviours. So, when someone yawns, other people usually yawn. When someone throws up, it can make you throw up. When someone smiles, usually, it makes you smile. And so on.

Porn is using a similar thing. Allosexual people tend to get aroused by watching others having sex, or other people being aroused. It's not something you can understand if you don't feel that way. But it makes as much sense as the other behaviours. For instance if someone in the tribe (in the past) was poisoned and threw up, other people, who may have ingested the same poison, would be compelled to also get rid of it. Yawning causes you to breathe more air, so if air is scarce and it causes one person to yawn, other around would too in order to get more oxygen. And if someone is aroused, especially a woman, that can mean she's ovulating and so men tend to respond to porn the most, because when women are aroused is the best time to impregnate them (because human sexuality is complicated and not everything "makes sense", this same instinct also happens in gay men, despite the fact those men obviously aren't ovulating).

That's why men tend to react strongly to porn, if they're allosexual. Some women respond strongly too, but it's more rare.

Its not just allosexual people. Some(albeit a rare amount) of asexual people watch porn, for the EXACT reasons you mentioned. Your sexuality does not determine biological responses.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I understand why people do it, but the idea makes me highly uncomfortable. Saying that I don't care what other people do in private as long as it stays private!

[Kalidas]

I understand why people do it, but the idea makes me highly uncomfortable. Saying that I don't care what other people do in private as long as it stays private!

Agreed... well to an extent. If what you do in private harms others (like kiddie porn). That I DO care, and you terrible things should happen to you.

[Autumn Season]

I tried watching porn to see what everyone is so excited about. ^^ The only emotions I got out of it were: Embarrassment, a bit of repulsion, confusion (How do they even???) and boredom. Nevertheless it never appeared strange to me that people get aroused by watching porn. Our bodies are programmed to have sex*, though the degree of libido varies. What I found weird though was that people could not only feel turned on but also actively like some of the gruesome porn that I've seen. Some (or maybe "most") porn is bad in so many ways, even just from a moral point of view. *grimaces* (To make it clear, I'm not against porn, only against some sorts of it.)

*Notice that I wrote "have", not "want". (^_~)

[Lost247365]

I guess they are living vicariously through the characters in the films.

Me all I see are a bunch of body fluids and that is the point my stomach starts turning.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I understand why people do it, but the idea makes me highly uncomfortable. Saying that I don't care what other people do in private as long as it stays private!

Agreed... well to an extent. If what you do in private harms others (like kiddie porn). That I DO care, and you terrible things should happen to you.

Well of course if someone is being harmed or exploited it's wrong, but that applies to everything.

[Claeya]

There have been times I've watched, although very rare. It depends entirely on the content, my mood and all sorts of variations to becoming aroused by porn! I'm much more aroused by watching two people in love than two strangers on a screen, so often more than not direct pornographic stuff just makes me uncomfortable and I probably haven't watched it for a good 5yrs or more. I'm more attracted to sensual imagery like long touches and nothing direct like penetration etc, but I've been known to find arousal watching sex in movies or some hentai (because they tend to not be real people idk its a thing and theres some plot at least)

Even reading smut can be hit or miss for me I've really gotta be in the mood for these things and more often than not I'm just not interested in any of it. I was much more horny as a teen/child and then in my adulthood it just evaporated xD (never horny enough to have sex though)

[Kalidas]

http://imgur.com/gallery/mAESF

I guess they are living vicariously through the characters in the films.

Me all I see are a bunch of body fluids and that is the point my stomach starts turning.

I think that is what people do. See the porn and try to imagine themselves in it. They even make special types of porn JUST for this. Where the video recording is meant to cause a sense of you doing the act. These types of porn have always made me feel odd and uncomfortable. To be honest I feel bad for the women in porn, if you do a search you will find HUNDREDS of stories of the many terrible abuses the women go though (and that's with consensual porn stars who actually make this their job). Here is one of the worst ones I could find (SUPER DUPER TMI/TRIGGER WARNING! Only open if you are okay with this)

http://imgur.com/gallery/mAESF

I'll be honest I watch it occasionally for all the reasons mentioned (the simple biological facts are the sight of porn causes an arousal response). But nothing professional (seriously the industry is abusive), and there is something I like about watching two (amateurs) who are just enjoying themselves with one another. I don't imagine myself there it's almost like an odd fantasy like I enjoy watching two sexual people and almost wish I could experience the same kind of passion they do... I actually get jealous a little bit, even if it is acting.

[Robin L]

For me, it depends on the type of porn. If it happens to fit my (very weird) fetish, then I'll like it. Otherwise it's just disgusting.

[Kalidas]

For me, it depends on the type of porn. If it happens to fit my (very weird) fetish, then I'll like it. Otherwise it's just disgusting.

Not gonna lie, super curious now lol

[Skycaptain]

I'll reply as someone who does watch a blue movie from time to time. As others have posted here it is not unusual to be asexual and have a libido. But a blue movie is for the privacy of your own home. The thing with porn that I cannot comprehend is that people invite friends round and they all sit there watching porn? I once walked into an office and saw the whole staff watching such a film, with rapt attention. Meh!

What I find strange is that I can watch people doing with each other something that I am actually repulsed by the thought of doing myself.

[R_1]

Some people watch porn because of the body's arousal going off on it own and others do it because it is to pass time. I use porn because of those two reasons.

[Kalidas]

I'll reply as someone who does watch a blue movie from time to time. As others have posted here it is not unusual to be asexual and have a libido. But a blue movie is for the privacy of your own home. The thing with porn that I cannot comprehend is that people invite friends round and they all sit there watching porn? I once walked into an office and saw the whole staff watching such a film, with rapt attention. Meh!

What I find strange is that I can watch people doing with each other something that I am actually repulsed by the thought of doing myself.

Yeah that NEVER made sense to me. The only thing I ever did like this was a group of friends and I watch Bible Black (a very infamous hentai) but we did it for fun and made jokes the WHOLE time. But people watching porn together as a form of odd bonding? that is weird.

See you sound like me. It's almost like a form of simulation. You can watch them enjoy this thing that you have never understood and almost try and simulate (with masturbation) the sensation. It's like watching a someone do something really cool, and thinking. "If only I could do that" but knowing you never can."

[allrightalready]

I'll reply as someone who does watch a blue movie from time to time. As others have posted here it is not unusual to be asexual and have a libido. But a blue movie is for the privacy of your own home. The thing with porn that I cannot comprehend is that people invite friends round and they all sit there watching porn? I once walked into an office and saw the whole staff watching such a film, with rapt attention. Meh!

What I find strange is that I can watch people doing with each other something that I am actually repulsed by the thought of doing myself.

i am the opposite i cannot stand seeing/watching others even if it is something i would consider doing with someone i care about, i don't even like hearing it. porn has zero attraction to me even without the consideration that i know a number of people who performed in it and told me just how abusive it is

[Kalidas]

I'll reply as someone who does watch a blue movie from time to time. As others have posted here it is not unusual to be asexual and have a libido. But a blue movie is for the privacy of your own home. The thing with porn that I cannot comprehend is that people invite friends round and they all sit there watching porn? I once walked into an office and saw the whole staff watching such a film, with rapt attention. Meh!

What I find strange is that I can watch people doing with each other something that I am actually repulsed by the thought of doing myself.

i am the opposite i cannot stand seeing/watching others even if it is something i would consider doing with someone i care about, i don't even like hearing it. porn has zero attraction to me even without the consideration that i know a number of people who performed in it and told me just how abusive it is

Yeah I feel super bad for the women. Gawd the terrible shit they have to go through... it's just sad.

[allrightalready]

I'll reply as someone who does watch a blue movie from time to time. As others have posted here it is not unusual to be asexual and have a libido. But a blue movie is for the privacy of your own home. The thing with porn that I cannot comprehend is that people invite friends round and they all sit there watching porn? I once walked into an office and saw the whole staff watching such a film, with rapt attention. Meh!

What I find strange is that I can watch people doing with each other something that I am actually repulsed by the thought of doing myself.

i am the opposite i cannot stand seeing/watching others even if it is something i would consider doing with someone i care about, i don't even like hearing it. porn has zero attraction to me even without the consideration that i know a number of people who performed in it and told me just how abusive it is

Yeah I feel super bad for the women. Gawd the terrible shit they have to go through... it's just sad.

one of my friends who was in porn is a gay man which shows the abuse is not just against the women but pervasive

[Kalidas]

I'll reply as someone who does watch a blue movie from time to time. As others have posted here it is not unusual to be asexual and have a libido. But a blue movie is for the privacy of your own home. The thing with porn that I cannot comprehend is that people invite friends round and they all sit there watching porn? I once walked into an office and saw the whole staff watching such a film, with rapt attention. Meh!

What I find strange is that I can watch people doing with each other something that I am actually repulsed by the thought of doing myself.

i am the opposite i cannot stand seeing/watching others even if it is something i would consider doing with someone i care about, i don't even like hearing it. porn has zero attraction to me even without the consideration that i know a number of people who performed in it and told me just how abusive it is

Yeah I feel super bad for the women. Gawd the terrible shit they have to go through... it's just sad.

one of my friends who was in porn is a gay man which shows the abuse is not just against the women but pervasive

Oh yeah can't forget about the men in this! I know. It's why whenever I DO watch porn i have strict amateurs(I'm talking romantic couples who make couples videos) only rule. I feel amateurs are far less likely to be abusive to one another because money is not involved.

[allrightalready]

Oh yeah can't forget about the men in this! I know. It's why whenever I DO watch porn i have strict amateurs(I'm talking romantic couples who make couples videos) only rule. I feel amateurs are far less likely to be abusive to one another because money is not involved.

less likely yes (and that is good) but i do want to just point out that some relationships are those with domestic violence and not every act performed within those is really consensual (i have a history)

[Kalidas]

Oh yeah can't forget about the men in this! I know. It's why whenever I DO watch porn i have strict amateurs(I'm talking romantic couples who make couples videos) only rule. I feel amateurs are far less likely to be abusive to one another because money is not involved.

less likely yes (and that is good) but i do want to just point out that some relationships are those with domestic violence and not every act performed within those is really consensual (i have a history)

I know it isn't always good and that is sad, nothing can ever bee 100%. Luckily for me since talking to my wife and creating some compromises and trying out new ideas, I feel the need for porn is going away quickly. For me it had always been Sex=masturbation (in terms of biological release), and porn was something that helped (like an aide). But now I have taken a new view of sex with my wife since coming out as ace. If I feel aroused naturally I will now go to her instead of just pleasuring myself. If both feel equally "okay" why not just do it with her? I have started to view sex as "partnered masturbation". They are not the same actually and I know that but it works in my head. For the longest time I never understood why sex didn't feel "amazing" and thought I didn't love my wife and since I can't even keep the arousal going during sex without feeling loved I would just masturbate. But now that I know the truth, porn has pretty much lost it's purpose to me. This is pretty awesome news I think.

[allrightalready]

I know it isn't always good and that is sad, nothing can ever bee 100%. Luckily for me since talking to my wife and creating some compromises and trying out new ideas, I feel the need for porn is going away quickly. For me it had always been Sex=masturbation (in terms of biological release), and porn was something that helped (like an aide). But now I have taken a new view of sex with my wife since coming out as ace. If I feel aroused naturally I will now go to her instead of just pleasuring myself. If both feel equally "okay" why not just do it with her? I have started to view sex as "partnered masturbation". They are not the same actually and I know that but it works in my head. For the longest time I never understood why sex didn't feel "amazing" and thought I didn't love my wife and since I can't even keep the arousal going during sex without feeling loved I would just masturbate. But now that I know the truth, porn has pretty much lost it's purpose to me. This is pretty awesome news I think.

i am glad it is working for you :)

this is the first time i have seen anyone else say this - partnered masturbation is how i view casual sex

[Guest]

I hate Porn, its disguisting.

[Kalidas]

I know it isn't always good and that is sad, nothing can ever bee 100%. Luckily for me since talking to my wife and creating some compromises and trying out new ideas, I feel the need for porn is going away quickly. For me it had always been Sex=masturbation (in terms of biological release), and porn was something that helped (like an aide). But now I have taken a new view of sex with my wife since coming out as ace. If I feel aroused naturally I will now go to her instead of just pleasuring myself. If both feel equally "okay" why not just do it with her? I have started to view sex as "partnered masturbation". They are not the same actually and I know that but it works in my head. For the longest time I never understood why sex didn't feel "amazing" and thought I didn't love my wife and since I can't even keep the arousal going during sex without feeling loved I would just masturbate. But now that I know the truth, porn has pretty much lost it's purpose to me. This is pretty awesome news I think.

i am glad it is working for you :)

this is the first time i have seen anyone else say this - partnered masturbation is how i view casual sex

I mean it kinda sucks a little bit that I will NEVER have that same experience as her (for her she fulfilling an innate desire and I bet sex feels like taking a drug) and to me it's like well it feels JUST like masurbation. But it's masturbation with the woman I love, it makes her happy, and as I mentioned in another post we discovered a way that I can ALMOST feel what she feels. We just hold each other tight I close my eyes and we just whisper the things we love about each other. It doesn't make the feeling any more intense but that feeling of love sure increases my enjoyment (no one says they love me when I masturbate :( )

I wonder if that's a kink?

[allrightalready]

I know it isn't always good and that is sad, nothing can ever bee 100%. Luckily for me since talking to my wife and creating some compromises and trying out new ideas, I feel the need for porn is going away quickly. For me it had always been Sex=masturbation (in terms of biological release), and porn was something that helped (like an aide). But now I have taken a new view of sex with my wife since coming out as ace. If I feel aroused naturally I will now go to her instead of just pleasuring myself. If both feel equally "okay" why not just do it with her? I have started to view sex as "partnered masturbation". They are not the same actually and I know that but it works in my head. For the longest time I never understood why sex didn't feel "amazing" and thought I didn't love my wife and since I can't even keep the arousal going during sex without feeling loved I would just masturbate. But now that I know the truth, porn has pretty much lost it's purpose to me. This is pretty awesome news I think.

i am glad it is working for you :)

this is the first time i have seen anyone else say this - partnered masturbation is how i view casual sex

I mean it kinda sucks a little bit that I will NEVER have that same experience as her (for her she fulfilling an innate desire and I bet sex feels like taking a drug) and to me it's like well it feels JUST like masurbation. But it's masturbation with the woman I love, it makes her happy, and as I mentioned in another post we discovered a way that I can ALMOST feel what she feels. We just hold each other tight I close my eyes and we just whisper the things we love about each other. It doesn't make the feeling any more intense but that feeling of love sure increases my enjoyment (no one says they love me when I masturbate :( )

I wonder if that's a kink?

don't know about the kink, i am not even sure i have any unless they are negative kink (not sure that is a concept) = those things pertaining to sex which are "deal breakers" or i won't do.

we obviously experience masturbation differently, i don't like it and only do when i feel a biological push, it does not really feel good at all (on the other hand sex with someone i care about greatly is fantastic) (nor do i know what doing drugs is like, i don't even drink anymore)

[Kalidas]

I know it isn't always good and that is sad, nothing can ever bee 100%. Luckily for me since talking to my wife and creating some compromises and trying out new ideas, I feel the need for porn is going away quickly. For me it had always been Sex=masturbation (in terms of biological release), and porn was something that helped (like an aide). But now I have taken a new view of sex with my wife since coming out as ace. If I feel aroused naturally I will now go to her instead of just pleasuring myself. If both feel equally "okay" why not just do it with her? I have started to view sex as "partnered masturbation". They are not the same actually and I know that but it works in my head. For the longest time I never understood why sex didn't feel "amazing" and thought I didn't love my wife and since I can't even keep the arousal going during sex without feeling loved I would just masturbate. But now that I know the truth, porn has pretty much lost it's purpose to me. This is pretty awesome news I think.

i am glad it is working for you :)

this is the first time i have seen anyone else say this - partnered masturbation is how i view casual sex

I mean it kinda sucks a little bit that I will NEVER have that same experience as her (for her she fulfilling an innate desire and I bet sex feels like taking a drug) and to me it's like well it feels JUST like masurbation. But it's masturbation with the woman I love, it makes her happy, and as I mentioned in another post we discovered a way that I can ALMOST feel what she feels. We just hold each other tight I close my eyes and we just whisper the things we love about each other. It doesn't make the feeling any more intense but that feeling of love sure increases my enjoyment (no one says they love me when I masturbate :( )

I wonder if that's a kink?

don't know about the kink, i am not even sure i have any unless they are negative kink (not sure that is a concept) = those things pertaining to sex which are "deal breakers" or i won't do.

we obviously experience masturbation differently, i don't like it and only do when i feel a biological push, it does not really feel good at all (on the other hand sex with someone i care about greatly is fantastic) (nor do i know what doing drugs is like, i don't even drink anymore)

Hhmm it's not that I "like" it. I like it about as much as I would like eating food. It fullfills a need (labido) and I feel that release of pressure from fulfilling said need. I mean orgasms feels good.. though there are a million other things that feel better. Like cake! lol

[allrightalready]

I know it isn't always good and that is sad, nothing can ever bee 100%. Luckily for me since talking to my wife and creating some compromises and trying out new ideas, I feel the need for porn is going away quickly. For me it had always been Sex=masturbation (in terms of biological release), and porn was something that helped (like an aide). But now I have taken a new view of sex with my wife since coming out as ace. If I feel aroused naturally I will now go to her instead of just pleasuring myself. If both feel equally "okay" why not just do it with her? I have started to view sex as "partnered masturbation". They are not the same actually and I know that but it works in my head. For the longest time I never understood why sex didn't feel "amazing" and thought I didn't love my wife and since I can't even keep the arousal going during sex without feeling loved I would just masturbate. But now that I know the truth, porn has pretty much lost it's purpose to me. This is pretty awesome news I think.

i am glad it is working for you :)

this is the first time i have seen anyone else say this - partnered masturbation is how i view casual sex

I mean it kinda sucks a little bit that I will NEVER have that same experience as her (for her she fulfilling an innate desire and I bet sex feels like taking a drug) and to me it's like well it feels JUST like masurbation. But it's masturbation with the woman I love, it makes her happy, and as I mentioned in another post we discovered a way that I can ALMOST feel what she feels. We just hold each other tight I close my eyes and we just whisper the things we love about each other. It doesn't make the feeling any more intense but that feeling of love sure increases my enjoyment (no one says they love me when I masturbate :( )

I wonder if that's a kink?

don't know about the kink, i am not even sure i have any unless they are negative kink (not sure that is a concept) = those things pertaining to sex which are "deal breakers" or i won't do.

we obviously experience masturbation differently, i don't like it and only do when i feel a biological push, it does not really feel good at all (on the other hand sex with someone i care about greatly is fantastic) (nor do i know what doing drugs is like, i don't even drink anymore)

Hhmm it's not that I "like" it. I like it about as much as I would like eating food. It fullfills a need (labido) and I feel that release of pressure from fulfilling said need. I mean orgasms feels good.. though there are a million other things that feel better. Like cake! lol

funny i don't eat cake (gluten problems and also vegan plus fruit tastes better for me)

the difference is i cannot live without eating i can trivially live without sex (the last decade proves that), also for me sex with someone i care about feels infinitely better than an orgasm alone, i only do it if driven to it (far more like eliminating waste for me than being like eating)