gayasanaro Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Okay, it's been pretty strongly established that I'm gray-ace. I'm neutral towards sex and rarely feel sexual attraction (and can't always differentiate between sexual and aesthetic attraction), rarely get sex dreams, am more turned on by kinks, fetishes, and sexual stories than actual people, et cetera. I also call myself bi because I'm also on the bisexual spectrum. I feel attracted to boys, girls, feminine nonbinary people, masculine nonbinary people, androgynous nonbinary people. I don't really care about gender. If I find someone sexy, I find them sexy. Romantically speaking, I'd say gray-femmeromantic or aroflux. I've only ever gotten like four crushes (I'm almost eighteen), always on feminine girls and feminine nonbinary people (so I also consider my romantic orientation to be on the bi spectrum). Sometimes I can't tell if it's a crush or a squish, sometimes I can tell but it fades really fast, and sometimes I just don't feel like doing anything about the crush. Right now it's more like...I don't feel romantically attracted to anyone, but I want a girlfriend anyway. So I also call myself a lesbian because I'm only romantically attracted to femmes. Also it's a good way to stop guys from hitting on me. But since I'm only a girl myself part of the time and since I'm gray-ace, I'm wondering how much sense it makes to call myself a lesbian. And since I'm gray-ace and gray-femmeromantic, do I have monosexual privilege? Link to post Share on other sites
Chardog Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 You tend to be attracted to femininity and you're somewhat non-binary... You could just go with gynoromantic/sexual (attraction to females or femininity). Link to post Share on other sites
FoxEars Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I also call myself bi because I'm also on the bisexual spectrum. I feel attracted to boys, girls, feminine nonbinary people, masculine nonbinary people, androgynous nonbinary people. I don't really care about gender. If I find someone sexy, I find them sexy. ... Isn't that sort of the definition of pansexual? Or at least polysexual ... because that's more than two genders there? (I'm not trying to challenge you or anything! I'm genuinely curious! ^_^) Honestly, I would call your romantic attraction 'greygyneromantic'. To me, 'lesbian' seems like a bit of a stretch because I believe that generally indicates attraction only to gender-binary females (and also is typically associated with sexual orientation rather than just romantic orientation. At least 'homoromantic' would be a better fit, I think). On the other hand, as Chardog pointed out, 'gyneromantic' (or 'gynoromantic', whichever spelling you prefer) accounts for non-binary feminine people as well. And it seems pretty unambiguous to me that whatever gender prefix you choose, you're definitely greyromantic. That said, you may find it useful to 'settle' for the term 'lesbian' in everyday conversation, simply because people are a lot more likely to know what it means (and it's probably 'close enough'). I consider myself hyperandroflexisapioquoiromantic, but outside of AVEN, I generally just tell people I'm heteroromantic (or maybe heteroflexiromantic OR heteroquoiromantic if I'm in the mood to do some explaining). I almost never bother with the hyper-, andro-, or sapio- prefixes, even though I consider them important parts of my romantic orientation, just because I honestly can't be bothered to explain them all, all the time. ^ FoxEars ^ Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 You tend to be attracted to femininity and you're somewhat non-binary... You could just go with gynoromantic/sexual (attraction to females or femininity). I know Gynoromantic is mistaken this way, but the word gyno means female, not femininity, so it shouldn't have that meaning. People who say they cant tell the difference between one attraction and another just seem to feel them both at once. Everyone's different so its totally possible that you typically feel aesthetic and sexual at once.Though i want to point out that sexual arousal alone is not sexual attraction; that's just a bodily response. Sexual attraction is when someone’s presence is sexually arousing and you have a desire/impulse to do sexual things to/with that person. Alone they do not make it. What is sexual strictly involves genital arousal in any direct or indirect way. Your body may find things sexual/react with arousal, but actions should not be called sexual unless you want them done for the arousal. Aesthetic attraction is a fixation on someone because of their looks and or mannerisms; having a pull to look at them. It is different from recognizing good looks/ what is "aesthetically pleasing" with no fixation. This does not automatically mean a romantic or platonic relationship is desired but attractions can be felt with other attractions. Some asexuals go by gay or lesbian (which i hate if you read its history on wiki) because it doesn't have sexuality in its title. Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 This thread has been moved from Gender Discussion to Romantic and Aromantic Identities. Heart Gender Discussion Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
allrightalready Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 monosexual privilege? i don't think so since you are open to other genders but just have not pursued as yet the greygynoromantic sounds right since you side towards the feminine i thought it was strange though that calling yourself lesbian got men to leave you alone, when i tell them that it only seems to excite them more (they want 3 somes, to watch me or to "cure" me) Link to post Share on other sites
gayasanaro Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 monosexual privilege? i don't think so since you are open to other genders but just have not pursued as yet the greygynoromantic sounds right since you side towards the feminine i thought it was strange though that calling yourself lesbian got men to leave you alone, when i tell them that it only seems to excite them more (they want 3 somes, to watch me or to "cure" me) If I told them I was bi, though, they would want all of that...AND feel even more entitled to me because they'd assume I wanted to date and have sex with men. Link to post Share on other sites
gayasanaro Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Tbh I mostly just use aro ace nowadays, especially because I found out I'm just bisensual and panaesthetic, not bisexual at all. Link to post Share on other sites
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