A list of romantic orientations

[QanaLuella]

Hello, new to this site, and quite new the world of aces,meaning: I've always felt that way, but didn't know untill recently that a term "asexual" excisted. And now I try to find out what I feel romanticly aswell. I thought I was a biromantic, but learning just how many types of romantisms there are, and not knowing any but a few homosexuals and bisexuals,how am I suppose to know how I feel romanticly - there are way to amny definitions here

[Amy Ghost]

Hello, new to this site, and quite new the world of aces,meaning: I've always felt that way, but didn't know untill recently that a term "asexual" excisted. And now I try to find out what I feel romanticly aswell. I thought I was a biromantic, but learning just how many types of romantisms there are, and not knowing any but a few homosexuals and bisexuals,how am I suppose to know how I feel romanticly - there are way to amny definitions here

If you like you can pm me and perhaps we can figure something out. But of course taking your time with things can be also good, once things settle. You can try and go through them one by one a taking out those that don't apply

[Viridzen]

-

[Amy Ghost]

There've been problems with the prefix skolio, since it means crooked or tortuous, though the original coiner thought it meant queer. Can I suggest an alternative? How about "medisromantic/sexual" or "medissoromantic/sexual"? It's kind of a weird word and mixes Latin and Greek, but the origin is Greek μη (mê), "non", and δισσος (dissos), "binary or twofold". Not sure if I got it right though. It should put to rest any issues with skolio if we use this.

Skolio is more widely used and that is why it is here. I can¨t just go and start changing things as I like. No one would know what it is. And other terms have also diferent meanings, but they change, asme with Asexual

[Viridzen]

True. I'm just bringing it up, since people are trying to change it to ceterosexual, which is just no. I'm offering an alternative so people don't have to use ceterosexual.

[Unlabeled]

6 biological sexes, 60+ genders wasn't confusing enough? Now we need precise 'romantic' definitions too?

Dozen kinds of "milk," scores of kinds of "potato chips," 30 kinds of "peanut butter," and 25,000 discrete religious systems some of which have thousands of different denominations with thousands of different versions of their holy texts.

Has anyone asked (besides me) maybe we have a problem with labels? :)

[Viridzen]

Not sure what you're getting at.

[Amy Ghost]

6 biological sexes, 60+ genders wasn't confusing enough? Now we need precise 'romantic' definitions too?

Dozen kinds of "milk," scores of kinds of "potato chips," 30 kinds of "peanut butter," and 25,000 discrete religious systems some of which have thousands of different denominations with thousands of different versions of their holy texts.

Has anyone asked (besides me) maybe we have a problem with labels? :)

What do you want? You don't have to read it

[Amy Ghost]

True. I'm just bringing it up, since people are trying to change it to ceterosexual, which is just no. I'm offering an alternative so people don't have to use ceterosexual.

Well, I don't think this is the place, really. This is just a list, people don't really discuss here. A new stand alone discussion on this topic more likely would bring a result

[aventura]

Love that you posted this here, despite the criticism. Sometimes I see these terms and I don't know what they mean, and I didn't even know some of these existed.

Some people might find the existence of so many orientations unnecessary, but I think it goes to reassure everybody anywhere that's it's okay to be who you are, because there are probably people who feel just like you. If you have enough self confidence to not need a label to help yourself, GREAT! Some of us like to have and give support and to know that there are people in the same situation who understand what we go through.

This information might not be helpful to you, but someone obviously finds it helpful to themselves. You don't like it, ignore it and move on with your life.

So, thanks! :D

[Lost247365]

6 biological sexes, 60+ genders wasn't confusing enough? Now we need precise 'romantic' definitions too?

Dozen kinds of "milk," scores of kinds of "potato chips," 30 kinds of "peanut butter," and 25,000 discrete religious systems some of which have thousands of different denominations with thousands of different versions of their holy texts.

Has anyone asked (besides me) maybe we have a problem with labels? :)

I am of the opinion the vocabulary of the average person is poor and prone to misunderstanding. Any and all words that we can get can only help.

It is the human propensitity toward language and giving thoughts and ideas name that have allowed us to advance the way we have. From a creature that was lucky to see their 38th birthday to the average lifespan of the late 70s.

[Róisín]

I'm not really sure we need labels for romantic orientations that are more to do with moods than actual orientations (like caedromantic or requiesromantic - while I LOVE the idea of there being loads of terms out there i'm not sure it's a good idea to be confusing temporary states of being with an orientation), but all in all I love this list, and I appreciate it being here :)

[Amy Ghost]

I'm not really sure we need labels for romantic orientations that are more to do with moods than actual orientations (like caedromantic or requiesromantic - while I LOVE the idea of there being loads of terms out there i'm not sure it's a good idea to be confusing temporary states of being with an orientation), but all in all I love this list, and I appreciate it being here :)

That's quite fine, we are all different. I just thought if it helped even one person it'd be worth having as many for the people as possible. :)

[SpeckledAngel]

I'm not really sure we need labels for romantic orientations that are more to do with moods than actual orientations (like caedromantic or requiesromantic - while I LOVE the idea of there being loads of terms out there i'm not sure it's a good idea to be confusing temporary states of being with an orientation), but all in all I love this list, and I appreciate it being here :)

That's quite fine, we are all different. I just thought if it helped even one person it'd be worth having as many for the people as possible. :)

Maybe split it into sections?

Orientation (WHO you're attracted to)

Aboromantic

Androromantic

Aromantic

Biromantic

Gyneromantic

Heteroromantic

Homoromantic

Panromantic

Polyromantic

Proquuromantic (is there a fem version of this?)

Sapioromantic (not actually sure where this one goes)

Transromantic

Type/Style (HOW you're attracted or things that affect your attraction) Add one of the above prefixes to indicate orientation!​

Acoromantic

Adfecturomantic / Affecturomantic / Adfectual / Adforomantic

Alloromantic / Zedromantic

Alterous

Apathromantic

Apothiromantic

Apresromantic

Aroflux

Arovague

Autochorisromantic/Aegoromantic

Bellusromantic

Borearomantic

Burstromantic

Caedromantic

Cupioromantic

Demiromantic

Frayromantic

Grayromantic

Hyporomantic

Idemromantic

Lithromantic / Aporomantic / Akoi(ne)romantic

Nebularomantic

Noviromantic

Omniromantic

Placioromantic

Post rubor

Quasiromantic

Quoiromantic

Recipromantic

Requi(es)romantic

Schromantic

Related Terms

Amatonormitivity

Aromate

Lush

Nonamory

Peach Fuzz

Plush

Soft Romo

Smuch

Swish

Squish

Queerplatonic

Frayromantic has a typo in the definition.

Having Quasiromantic, Quiromantic, and Alterous reference each other after their definitions might be useful, since someone who sort of identifies with one of the terms would likely find it useful compare it to the others.

Also, not sure, but adding spaces around the /'s might make the terms more searchable.

Edited August 18, 2015 by SpeckledAngel

[Darkthrone]

Acoromantic - Is someone whose negative experiences with romance has alienated them from their allo-romanticism.

Nice to find a new term that fits I guess, lol.

[katspark]

Bless this masterpiece

[toprakkokusu]

It's good to learn. Thank you! :)

[Amy Ghost]

Oh thank you

[Amy Ghost]

I'm not really sure we need labels for romantic orientations that are more to do with moods than actual orientations (like caedromantic or requiesromantic - while I LOVE the idea of there being loads of terms out there i'm not sure it's a good idea to be confusing temporary states of being with an orientation), but all in all I love this list, and I appreciate it being here :)

That's quite fine, we are all different. I just thought if it helped even one person it'd be worth having as many for the people as possible. :)

Maybe split it into sections?

Orientation (WHO you're attracted to)

Aboromantic

Androromantic

Aromantic

Biromantic

Gyneromantic

Heteroromantic

Homoromantic

Panromantic

Polyromantic

Proquuromantic (is there a fem version of this?)

Sapioromantic (not actually sure where this one goes)

Transromantic

Type/Style (HOW you're attracted or things that affect your attraction) Add one of the above prefixes to indicate orientation!​

Acoromantic

Adfecturomantic / Affecturomantic / Adfectual / Adforomantic

Alloromantic / Zedromantic

Alterous

Apathromantic

Apothiromantic

Apresromantic

Aroflux

Arovague

Autochorisromantic/Aegoromantic

Bellusromantic

Borearomantic

Burstromantic

Caedromantic

Cupioromantic

Demiromantic

Frayromantic

Grayromantic

Hyporomantic

Idemromantic

Lithromantic / Aporomantic / Akoi(ne)romantic

Nebularomantic

Noviromantic

Omniromantic

Placioromantic

Post rubor

Quasiromantic

Quoiromantic

Recipromantic

Requi(es)romantic

Schromantic

Related Terms

Amatonormitivity

Aromate

Lush

Nonamory

Peach Fuzz

Plush

Soft Romo

Smuch

Swish

Squish

Queerplatonic

Frayromantic has a typo in the definition.

Having Quasiromantic, Quiromantic, and Alterous reference each other after their definitions might be useful, since someone who sort of identifies with one of the terms would likely find it useful compare it to the others.

Also, not sure, but adding spaces around the /'s might make the terms more searchable.

Corrected the typo and added groups. However I added only two than the suggested three. I don't really think they are so different. People use all those as exactly orientations and as such it should stay, for now at least.

Which 's' do you mean now?

[VindicatorPhoenix]

Great list, I gotta say! Very informative and probably the most comprehensive I've ever seen! Great job, Amy Ghost, you rock! :D

I was wondering if a few changes in the wording would enhance some people's comfort, since an occasional person reading this might find some of the terms controversial. I'd first like to mention that I guarantee you didn't mean any harm by this, you were just trying to be helpful (which I appreciate :)). I just think we can make an improvement.

I recommend the following changes:

- Change "skolioromantic" to "ceteroromantic", since "skolio-" can be (for example) associated with the prefix "scolio-" which can mean "crooked," "twisted," or "bent." The "cetero-" prefix refers to non-binary identified individuals (I got the prefix from "ceterosexual").

- Take out "lithromantic" and leave "apromantic" and "akoi(ne)romantic" in its place since some GSRM communities find the prefix ("lith-") to be controversial.

Basically, I just picked synonyms for the two terms that as far as I know, are not offensive. If by any chance the synonyms I've suggested are controversial/offensive terms, feel free to refrain from adopting them. I hope this helps. ^_^

[Amy Ghost]

Great list, I gotta say! Very informative and probably the most comprehensive I've ever seen! Great job, Amy Ghost, you rock! :D

I was wondering if a few changes in the wording would enhance some people's comfort, since an occasional person reading this might find some of the terms controversial. I'd first like to mention that I guarantee you didn't mean any harm by this, you were just trying to be helpful (which I appreciate :)). I just think we can make an improvement.

I recommend the following changes:

- Change "skolioromantic" to "ceteroromantic", since "skolio-" can be (for example) associated with the prefix "scolio-" which can mean "crooked," "twisted," or "bent." The "cetero-" prefix refers to non-binary identified individuals (I got the prefix from "ceterosexual").

- Take out "lithromantic" and leave "apromantic" and "akoi(ne)romantic" in its place since some GSRM communities find the prefix ("lith-") to be controversial.

Basically, I just picked synonyms for the two terms that as far as I know, are not offensive. If by any chance the synonyms I've suggested are controversial/offensive terms, feel free to refrain from adopting them. I hope this helps. ^_^

Alright then, since more of you asked about the cetero. But what is GSRM? O_o And how much controversy is there, since people describe like this a sexuality as well?

[Lost247365]

Alright then, since more of you asked about the cetero. But what is GSRM? O_o And how much controversy is there, since people describe like this a sexuality as well?

GSRM=Gender/Sexual/Romantic Minorities.

Lith is controversial because it was first coined referring to Lesbian Butch culture and some lesbians object to it being appropriated to describe a sexuality/romanticism.

I personally think both Skolio and Lith should be left in, but a note about the controversy with the terms should be added. Otherwise you are going to have people who hear these terms and come to your thread to look it up and not find it.

[Amy Ghost]

Alright then, since more of you asked about the cetero. But what is GSRM? O_o And how much controversy is there, since people describe like this a sexuality as well?

GSRM=Gender/Sexual/Romantic Minorities.

Lith is controversial because it was first coined referring to Lesbian Butch culture and some lesbians object to it being appropriated to describe a sexuality/romanticism.

I personally think both Skolio and Lith should be left in, but a note about the controversy with the terms should be added. Otherwise you are going to have people who hear these terms and come to your thread to look it up and not find it.

That is also a good point. I'll do that.

Thank you for the info!

[Star Bit]

Me and many other people believe that Cupio is not an asexual or aromantic. They care clearly on the Gray spectrum.

[Amy Ghost]

Me and many other people believe that Cupio is not an asexual or aromantic. They care clearly on the Gray spectrum.

Cupioromantics are described as aromantic, which would mean they do not feel romantic attraction. They may wish for a relationship, but without attraction it doesn't make them romantic. Same like aces who have sex. It doesn't make them sexual.

So unless you have some information that proves the opposite, and which I obviously don't know about, I can't change that.

[Star Bit]

Do you know the backlash the term has? It's not the seeming oxymoron of desiring what they don't desire, but the asexual/aromantic inclusion. Look up threads on it. Out of technicality they're aromantic /asexual because of attraction based definitions. There are normally two things together and not just one. Because of this loophole, someone who clearly desires sex with let's say the same sex, but never finds anyone in particular sexually enticing/sexually attractive yet acts on the aforementioned desire is not homosexual (or at the least Gray) but asexual. How is this not Gray if the polar opposite is categorized as so; someone who experiences sexual attraction/mentally desires sex yet never desires to act. Cupios clearly poses traits of both sides (i.e. asexual being no sexual attraction and no sexual desire, and allosexual being sexual attraction and sexual desire). Cupio literally means desire, not to be confused with enjoyment. The desire for sex would not be attraction based but they desire sex/a sexual relationship for one reason or another.

Dictionary definitions:

Enjoy: take delight or pleasure in

Desire: a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

Want: to desire, need, or wish for something/to be without something needed

Cupio: to desire, wish, long for

Quotes i agree with:

Now, as you mods know, there’s not actually a widespread agreement in the asexual community about cupiosexuality either. Some aces think you can be asexual and want sex, and others don’t. Personally, I think that if you want sex to the point of being unhappy without it, you’re not a full-blown asexual. You’re a gray-asexual, assuming you don’t experience sexual attraction at all or rarely. And this is based on conversations I’ve seen and been a part of with both asexuals and sexual people—and I think it’s really worth listening to sexual people talk about something like sexual desire, which is basically what cupiosexuals are experiencing. I’ve heard sexual people say that desiring sex is what makes them sexual, not sexual attraction; sexual orientation/attraction describes the direction of their sexual desire. But without that sexual desire, the attraction doesn’t amount to much, does it? The attraction wouldn’t exist at all, if they didn’t want sex in the abstract, in the first place. I’ve heard it put this way: if you sent an allosexual to a deserted island, where there was no one to be sexually attracted to, they would still be allosexual—because they would still desire partnered sex (and be capable of sexual attraction, given the opportunity).

[want is a synonym with desire so they're actually inaccurate in including it with like]

Desire = crave/need. Interest = like/want

So an asexual is someone who does not crave/need sex with other people. They might enjoy sex with other people and even want it. But they could go for the rest of their life without it and be just fine.

This is how I currently define asexuality

An asexual is someone who does not experience an innate desire for sex with other people.

Desire. Noun: "a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen." Synonyms: Urge, Craving, Yearning, Need.

[Cobra!]

I'm sorry if I'm ressurecting a dead thread, but I found a lot of identities on the list in the original post that seemed to fit me so well! My "A/sexuality" section is being filled right up.

It's strange, I've only felt this with girls, and I could count all of the ones I've felt this towards with one hand. It's a strange feeling, I have no idea if it's romantic, platonic, sensual or aesthetic (never sexual, though, strangely), and this feeling comes and goes, it just creeps up on me at random times, and when it happens, I feel the rush or excitement of a crush/whatever, but then it goes away almost instantly... I also feel this when I think someone has feelings for me... Also, as a last peice of a puzzle, I desperately want to be in a relationship.

It seems I'm a Post Rubor Grey-Hetero Cupio-Quasi-Recip-Burstromantic... that's not confusing at all... would I get away with making up my own identity or do youse think there's way more than enough as it is? :P

[Amy Ghost]

I'm sorry if I'm ressurecting a dead thread, but I found a lot of identities on the list in the original post that seemed to fit me so well! My "A/sexuality" section is being filled right up.

It's strange, I've only felt this with girls, and I could count all of the ones I've felt this towards with one hand. It's a strange feeling, I have no idea if it's romantic, platonic, sensual or aesthetic (never sexual, though, strangely), and this feeling comes and goes, it just creeps up on me at random times, and when it happens, I feel the rush or excitement of a crush/whatever, but then it goes away almost instantly... I also feel this when I think someone has feelings for me... Also, as a last peice of a puzzle, I desperately want to be in a relationship.

It seems I'm a Post Rubor Grey-Hetero Cupio-Quasi-Recip-Burstromantic... that's not confusing at all... would I get away with making up my own identity or do youse think there's way more than enough as it is? :P

I'd hope this is never dead :D

Well, I'd say no one can really tell you what to do. You can put together a combo or you can try to make your own and see how it will be taken, depends on you really. You see I guess :D

[Flyaway4me]

Terms from Amy Ghost's post that I relate to are..

- Panalterous

- Borearomantic (Aro with one exception)

- Quasiromantic

- Queerplatonic

- Aromate

- Lush

- Squish

- Peach Fuzz

- Plush

- Swish

[wolfYLady]

I have a question, its silly bit I'm trying to find as to what better explains what I am or how I feel my orientation might be. I don't find myself being attracted a person on sight or just meeting them. But I feel no sexual attraction or attraction till knowing them longer, and if I do it is always with the male sex (I being female). I was just wondering if you could help me. I don't want to label myself asexual or anything else without knowing what else it could be described as.