Jump to content

Gender question


dash

Recommended Posts

I may have asked this before, forgive me if I did!

Is there a gender ID term that means "gender identity is prepubescent," regardless of other factors (like gender being male, female, agender, genderqueer, or some nonbinary gender)?

I want to be able to talk about being nonbinary, but I also want to to able to talk about how much of my dysphoria comes from secondary sex characteristics, as a sort of "involuntary transition." When I talk about feeling male, I don't feel like "wow I wish my voice was deeper," because that would actually make my dysphoria worse, not better.

Thanks!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Gallantrv2427

Is that at all like being a "little" ? Like, maybe it's an age-centered orientation rather than a gender one?

Link to post
Share on other sites

No- Littles want to act like they are children and have a fetish for being in a relationship with a parent type. They are referring to wanting a pre-pubescent "neutral" body that doesn't have the sexual characteristics that appear with puberty.

Link to post
Share on other sites
allrightalready

No- Littles want to act like they are children and have a fetish for being in a relationship with a parent type. They are referring to wanting a pre-pubescent "neutral" body that doesn't have the sexual characteristics that appear with puberty.

now i get it

aren't there puberty blocking medications? i have no idea what the consequences of using them for life would be though

Link to post
Share on other sites

aren't there puberty blocking medications? i have no idea what the consequences of using them for life would be though

There are, but I haven't heard of anyone using them for life; it's more common to block puberty temporarily while the patient decides whether to go through a male or female puberty. There are risks that come with having minimal levels of testosterone and estrogen for a prolonged time - namely, osteoporosis - so you'd have to have regular checkups with medical professionals. Also, you can't exactly block a puberty that's already happened, much to the chagrin of many.

As for the original question, Dash, you do a very good job of just explaining yourself in one or two sentences. If you can't find a word, you could always use an approximation (maybe 'agender' or 'non-binary') and explain that your dysphoria centers on secondary-sex characteristics that developed during puberty. Also, I totally get the "involuntary transition" narrative and use it to describe my own puberty and how damaging it was all the time.

Link to post
Share on other sites
littlepersonparadox

As far as I am aware there isn't a term for anything like that. Really when I hear people talk about similar things, it's on how not every trans person wants to do a full transition. Its mostly rooted in how every trans person will not experience dysphoria the same way or to the same extent or even at all.

a

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish there was a term for this, because I don't identify with my post-purberty look. Mostly, I have breast dysphoria. I often wear a binder and did extensively as a teen. I struggled with anorexia as a teen because I could not stand anything "womanly" look-wise. I tried to shut it down and did until I was very sick. My therapists just thought I didn't want to grow up, but it wasn't about that... And now, I'm more accepting of my body (I want to be healthy more than I feel the need to look at certain way), but it doesn't feel "right." And I like being an adult... so it's not an emotional thing.

Partly, I like looking agender (I'd say I'd identity agender on a spirit level), but I look feminine in other aspects and I'm good with that (mostly long hair and I can't imagine cutting it short). I really wish I looked like a pre-prepubescent tom girl, and there's no gender that describes that. I'm not saying I want to look like a child... I just want a straight body. (Thankfully, I'm petite, so my body dysphoria could be worse, but still most people assume I'm just wanting to look agender, if anything because there isn't any word to describe what I really mean.)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've heard people identify as "trans boys" or "trans girls" instead of "trans men/women" before, regardless of age. Perhaps that's the kind of term you're looking for? Trans child, for the non-binary?

Link to post
Share on other sites

No- Littles want to act like they are children and have a fetish for being in a relationship with a parent type. They are referring to wanting a pre-pubescent "neutral" body that doesn't have the sexual characteristics that appear with puberty.

Yes. I am not referring to a fetish, or anything about relationship structures, or acting "like a child," or anything of that sort. I am referring to having gender dysphoria because I developed secondary sex characteristics that do not match, and never have matched, my internal body-map, in which 1) I don't have breasts, 2) my hips aren't curved like this, and 3) I don't menstruate (now stopped with meds so not an issue). Nor do I want to take T because then, among other things, my voice would change, and unlike with trans men, this would actually make my dysphoria worse.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've heard people identify as "trans boys" or "trans girls" instead of "trans men/women" before, regardless of age. Perhaps that's the kind of term you're looking for? Trans child, for the non-binary?

Tried to add my reply here to your post into my previous post, but it AVEN keeps changing "Heart" to "Chardog," and I can't figure out how to make that stop.

My reply:

Strangely I think it works better for "trans boys/trans girls" since what's implied is youth in general, and not "being children," whereas saying "trans child" for an adult seems to have VERY different connotations. I feel like I'm stuck with Ftf/FtN non-binary for the time being, though it's imperfect. Mostly this issue comes up in gender discussions where dysphoria (though they say it's different for everyone) ends up defined as being about maleness vs. femaleness, and transness in general ends up defined in these terms. Gender maps and gender diagrams never have an axis that represents "secondary sex ONLY dysphoria".

I'm not trying to say I identify "as a child" in some way, I'm trying to say that some of those puberty changes, for me, created a lasting and painful gender dysphoria that I've been living with for 20+ years. I don't have a problem with "adulthood." :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
littlepersonparadox

I've heard people identify as "trans boys" or "trans girls" instead of "trans men/women" before, regardless of age. Perhaps that's the kind of term you're looking for? Trans child, for the non-binary?

Tried to add my reply here to your post into my previous post, but it AVEN keeps changing "Heart" to "Chardog," and I can't figure out how to make that stop.

My reply:

Strangely I think it works better for "trans boys/trans girls" since what's implied is youth in general, and not "being children," whereas saying "trans child" for an adult seems to have VERY different connotations. I feel like I'm stuck with Ftf/FtN non-binary for the time being, though it's imperfect. Mostly this issue comes up in gender discussions where dysphoria (though they say it's different for everyone) ends up defined as being about maleness vs. femaleness, and transness in general ends up defined in these terms. Gender maps and gender diagrams never have an axis that represents "secondary sex ONLY dysphoria".

I'm not trying to say I identify "as a child" in some way, I'm trying to say that some of those puberty changes, for me, created a lasting and painful gender dysphoria that I've been living with for 20+ years. I don't have a problem with "adulthood." :)

Personally I don't see how dysphoria is about maleness vs. femaleness. They say there is 3 types of dysphoria. Body Dysphoria, Social Dysphoria and Mind Dysphoria. Here's a image that explains it in the way I understand it

hYK65.jpg

It's about not feeling male vs. female but just a way of describing the discomfort with how you're assigned / designated. I get not being happy with binary talk of male v.s female. Normally i flow but i'm starting to think that i wan't really shifting but slowing letting go of the supression of my idenity of a trans person. I don't seem to flow anymore or at least very rarely now. Now i've been sitting at 75% male 25% ?. I know i'm not 100% male but i'm not sure of the other 25%. It's just the way it is. I feel like given the chance I would change my gender identity to X and use the title mx. even though i'm predominately male. I'm AFAB and i want my breasts gone and sometimes i feel like shouting "I'm non-binary" when people over-use she/her in rapid fire. Sometimes i'm ok with my period, sometimes it puts me in a cloud of gender-related "what the heck" confusion.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've heard people identify as "trans boys" or "trans girls" instead of "trans men/women" before, regardless of age. Perhaps that's the kind of term you're looking for? Trans child, for the non-binary?

Tried to add my reply here to your post into my previous post, but it AVEN keeps changing "Heart" to "Chardog," and I can't figure out how to make that stop.

My reply:

Strangely I think it works better for "trans boys/trans girls" since what's implied is youth in general, and not "being children," whereas saying "trans child" for an adult seems to have VERY different connotations. I feel like I'm stuck with Ftf/FtN non-binary for the time being, though it's imperfect. Mostly this issue comes up in gender discussions where dysphoria (though they say it's different for everyone) ends up defined as being about maleness vs. femaleness, and transness in general ends up defined in these terms. Gender maps and gender diagrams never have an axis that represents "secondary sex ONLY dysphoria".

I'm not trying to say I identify "as a child" in some way, I'm trying to say that some of those puberty changes, for me, created a lasting and painful gender dysphoria that I've been living with for 20+ years. I don't have a problem with "adulthood." :)

Personally I don't see how dysphoria is about maleness vs. femaleness. They say there is 3 types of dysphoria. Body Dysphoria, Social Dysphoria and Mind Dysphoria. Here's a image that explains it in the way I understand it

[cut]

It's about not feeling male vs. female but just a way of describing the discomfort with how you're assigned / designated. I get not being happy with binary talk of male v.s female. Normally i flow but i'm starting to think that i wan't really shifting but slowing letting go of the supression of my idenity of a trans person. I don't seem to flow anymore or at least very rarely now. Now i've been sitting at 75% male 25% ?. I know i'm not 100% male but i'm not sure of the other 25%. It's just the way it is. I feel like given the chance I would change my gender identity to X and use the title mx. even though i'm predominately male. I'm AFAB and i want my breasts gone and sometimes i feel like shouting "I'm non-binary" when people over-use she/her in rapid fire. Sometimes i'm ok with my period, sometimes it puts me in a cloud of gender-related "what the heck" confusion.

I get that that chart is useful for some (whoever the "they" is who say that there are three "types" of dysphoria), but my experience of dysphoria does not match that chart, or divide in that way (with a distinction between physical and social). And I haven't a clue what "mind dysphoria" means. (And so I suppose it would be not super useful to me in this thread to get into a discussion of that here.)

Dysphoria is almost always both what people call "social" and "physical" because what triggers it? Someone talking about my body in a certain way, or someone making assumptions about me based on my presumed sex/gender because of my body. Hence, it's very much about the intersection of both. Do I feel a mismatch when alone? Sure, but it's rarely on my mind unless I'm getting undressed and seeing myself in the mirror. People don't consider me to have a gender (in the broad sense) that doesn't match who I am internally for any reason other than how I appear physically and what my voice sounds like. They see me, they hear me, they place me into a mental category unconsciously, and then assumptions attach. So while physical and social may be separate "categories" for some people, they are not for me. It's one creature.

Sometimes, dysphoria for me is very much about male-ness and female-ness. And sometimes it's about secondary sex characteristics, regardless of "gender." Sometimes, I've been a girl, and have always been a girl. But this "woman" thing... what.

Link to post
Share on other sites

To be honest, I don't think there is a term for the description you said. I think that you should use whatever gender term that you know that you feel like today. You can always change it whenever you want. Maybe you can come up with a identity of that :) that would pretty cool if you made up a term

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...