TaminSweets Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 From my experience I am accused of flirting every now and then….. Because it’s a word that lately pretty much means now that if you’re treating a person with kindness and good communication you’re flirting? Do people not give attention to their friends anymore? So pretty much the problem I have with flirting (besides not being able to know when its happening) is that unless it’s overtly sexual/physical It’s pretty much how you would treat your best friend. Which leads to the question I suppose, when you are asexual how do you go about….. In a better sense of the word, attracting people you want romantically? How do you notice someone is interested in you if you can't recognize flirting?(this unfortunately happened like 3 times to me and didn't know till years later that they were interested) anyways.....How do you go about dating someone in general, since most people are probably sexuals…. How do you know if they will want you romantically, and are just flirting because they’re sexually interested? How/ when do you go about telling said interest that you are asexual? I’m probably asking the wrong questions/explaining myself wrong, etc. but it’s a very confusing topic and I’m not sure how to go about it unfortunately…… so feel free to expand on the subject, AND for a bonus I will try to find a cake photograph of your choice if you state some cheesy “asexual Pick up lines” for the fun of it. Examples: Link to post Share on other sites
Schattenschatz Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I've always thought that 'flirting' and 'reading signals' was overrated. I don't know how many times I've had people, of varying sexualities and orientations, tell me that they didn't know someone was interested or didn't know how to express the fact that they were interested, or perhaps someone mistakenly thought someone was interested. The problem, in my opinion, is that we feel for some reason like we can't be upfront and honest about our interest because maybe we feel embarrassed or afraid of rejection. I understand it's not easy to get up the courage to just plainly state "I am interested in you romantically", but I can think of no better way to get the message across or to get a clear and honest response. 'Flirting' can be fun and flattering, but I would never rely on something like flirting to honestly convey my interest to someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Badomens Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I work at the grocery shop of a small village and I can't tell you how many unsavoury men think I flirt with them when all I do is smile and be polite. There's such a fine line between friendly banter and flirting these days. I know I consciously crossed that line once at work but if you were to ask the men I see every day, at least a dozen would tell you I'm a bit too "friendly" to not be flirting. But I think it's a problem that most people have. Maybe the best way to go at it is to be honest, as much as possible. Banter and flirt as much as you like but if you seriously like someone, say something that leaves no ambiguity as to how you feel. I've never been good at sending or reading signals but honesty has always worked wonders to make situations easier on everyone's nerves. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 My problem would be the opposite: How do I let somebody know I am only interested in them in a friendship - kind of way? About obvious flirting: You can use body language or words. Unfortunately most obvious flirting suggests that you want to f... find out more about the other person. *coughs* So it would only work when both parties are aces and know it. Other than that honesty is your strongest weapon. Link to post Share on other sites
Claeya Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I once got pulled aside by someone in an adult class, the teacher to be precise for apparently "flirting" with this guy I really enjoyed the company of. I guess I can come off as flirty but I don't really notice it? I'm just laughing and enjoying their company and we got along REALLY well! He was married which I hadn't actually known about, and I also hadn't known about myself at that point being Lithro and grey ace so to me I'd felt shoe-horned and completely embarrassed I hadn't even wanted to date this guy I just love fooling around with people. And guys tend to be more laid back in that area, y'know? Just laughing about stupid shit and bantering. so thats called flirting xD sometimes I wish I could return to these moments and say who I am and how wrong they are. Link to post Share on other sites
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