CathMaybe Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I dont like it all the time but if im clubbing with my friends or if i make an effort to look nice/sexy at all its fine with me. Like im mot bothered, but some attention is always nice and a good confidence booster ya know? I know im pretty, but someone saying i look sexy (in the right non creepy context), is a nice compliment. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I'm not attractive, nor do I really go out, so I'm fine xD I have been asked out before, but I think that's because I'm a female with a modified car and I had expressed interest in his car (drift-modified Toyota Celica, very nice). What he failed to realise was that I actually found his car the aesthetically pleasing one, not him xD Link to post Share on other sites
~RedArcher Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 You know, to be honest... Despite being Aro-Ace, I find it really depressing knowing that no one has ever found me beautiful or ever considered me attractive. After I told a couple of guys that I was Ace, they've seemed to lean away as if I look repulsive. It's kind of an ego crash. I have no idea what's causing my desire to be beautiful, knowing full well I'm celibate and cannot cope with a romantic relationship, but you see other women being admired and you're just...not. You're not even average, you're just not. it makes me sad sometimes. I love dresses, I love fashion, I love the female gender role as a whole (apologies trans/fluid people) and yet nobody considers me a beautiful, loving female. That being said, I can't deal with people thinking about me in... that way, but you know, something would be nice :( Link to post Share on other sites
The Maple Leaf Forever Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Interesting discussion. Let me ask a question that's narrower in scope. Suppose your partner (either sexual or asexual, if applicable asexual with a libido) told you they found you or something about you sexy. Would you mind? Would that change if they simply said you or something about you was good-looking? (My answer: I really couldn't care less if some individuals find me sexy/like the thought of doing you-know-what with me. If it was my partner, I might be somewhat flattered, certainly I would be happy that this person doesn't find me ugly; as we wouldn't actually be doing you-know-what, it wouldn't matter much in the end for me anyway). Link to post Share on other sites
CMRHeart Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 The thought that someone might perceive me as being sexually attractive is so weird. I don't see people as sexually attractive. It does affect outfit choice. I'm not trying to be sexy, I'm trying to wear clothes I like. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Interesting discussion. Let me ask a question that's narrower in scope. Suppose your partner (either sexual or asexual, if applicable asexual with a libido) told you they found you or something about you sexy. Would you mind? Would that change if they simply said you or something about you was good-looking? (My answer: I really couldn't care less if some individuals find me sexy/like the thought of doing you-know-what with me. If it was my partner, I might be somewhat flattered, certainly I would be happy that this person doesn't find me ugly; as we wouldn't actually be doing you-know-what, it wouldn't matter much in the end for me anyway). I'd have to have a partner first before I could answer that realistically. But I imagine that because a partner shares an emotional, it can help in reducing the effects that come from being perceived as sexually attractive and not liking it. But even with this, I think it'd be more or less the same as when a partner wants sex and the other doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
fish of hearts Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Interesting discussion. Let me ask a question that's narrower in scope. Suppose your partner (either sexual or asexual, if applicable asexual with a libido) told you they found you or something about you sexy. Would you mind? Would that change if they simply said you or something about you was good-looking? My sexual partner can and does say so, and he's the only one whose opinion I trust on the subject because he knows what the word does (or rather doesn't) mean to me and has no ulterior motive or expectations when he says so. We've also been a couple for seventeen years, and it's a very different thing for him to call me sexy as opposed to someone I've only known a little while. Link to post Share on other sites
Queeries Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 You know, to be honest... Despite being Aro-Ace, I find it really depressing knowing that no one has ever found me beautiful or ever considered me attractive. After I told a couple of guys that I was Ace, they've seemed to lean away as if I look repulsive. It's kind of an ego crash. I have no idea what's causing my desire to be beautiful, knowing full well I'm celibate and cannot cope with a romantic relationship, but you see other women being admired and you're just...not. You're not even average, you're just not. it makes me sad sometimes. I love dresses, I love fashion, I love the female gender role as a whole (apologies trans/fluid people) and yet nobody considers me a beautiful, loving female. That being said, I can't deal with people thinking about me in... that way, but you know, something would be nice :( I've felt this way before too. I think it would be interesting to be admired in that way and sometimes I dress in a way to seek it out (but other times I also connect with how you don't want people thinking about you in that way...) Just, yeah, I know the feeling. Sometimes I blame my asexuality for why people (especially boys at my school who are supposedly always interested in the girls at my school) very rarely hit on me or seem to take an interest in pursuing me. Maybe it's a signal I'm sending out. Link to post Share on other sites
Mycroft is Yourcroft Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 I've made peace with the fact that occasionally someone may be sexually attracted to me. I originally thought that I could stop that happening by looking and dressing asexily (new favourite word :lol: ), but then I had a sexual relationship with someone and, to my surprise (and discomfort), it didn't seem to affect their attraction towards me in the slightest. Now I dress how I want, and as long as people are respectful, respect social decency, and my boundaries, I have no problem :) Link to post Share on other sites
Archived Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Well, haven't gotten to a point where peeps would be serious about that since I'm 13. I joke around with my friends a lot. Tomorrow, I'm actually just gonna call everyone sexy. I can never take the raw concept of sex seriously. I mean, that's what made me and I was made not to be serious. When I call my friends sexy, it's a joke, but to an extent it's true. I, personally, don't find them sexually attractive, but I'm complimenting them in a way to tell them "Hey! Someone probably finds you sexually attractive. You're welcome." They take it as a compliment and I also make them feel awkward, but all is well. I guess if someone hit on me (and wasn't joking). I'd be like "Ha! No. Thank you for your time. Goodbye." Link to post Share on other sites
Ace of Cakes Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I hate the idea of being seen as sexy or hot. I mostly dress pretty modestly, so I don't get too much attention (not trying to say if you don't dress modestly you deserve inappropriate attention or anything like that!). Still, when I feel like someone is checking me out I get very uncomfortable. I have become okay (I even kind of like it) with my boyfriend calling me hot, because I know that he likes me for more than my body, but anyone else doing so feels uncomfortable. As for sexy, I wouldn't even be okay with him calling me that... I don't want to be seen that way, or be reminded that I am seen that way haha Link to post Share on other sites
russian_enigma Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I hate being cat-called or being perceived as sexy by men. I hate knowing that they are just seeing me as a piece of meat, not as a human being with a soul. It makes me want to wrap a burka all around my body and crawl under a rock. I once had a creepy man (who looked to be in his 40's) say to me, "Wow, you're so tiny and petite! I could have some fun with you in a bedroom." Good thing my 6'5 friend was within hearing range when he said that, the man retreated when my friend confronted him aggressively. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Dreaming Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 It's cool. I like the attention - and the free drinks! Of course being male, I probably have less to worry about from a bad-things-might-happen perspective, even though I get attention from men and women equally (probably something to do with all the mixed signals I put out). Link to post Share on other sites
Claeya Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I don't mind if someone thinks I'm sexy if I'm in a sexual situation with them, as in QPR involving sex for example or someone I trust and am very close to in a way that could be sexual. Strangers on the street? People I don't know? Just a friend? NO! I become VERY VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. When I dress up in something pretty I find people often making comments like "who are you trying to impress?" or "Wow you look hot" and I just get so tired of it. All I want to do is look nice, to feel nice, I'm not going for "sexually appealing" I never want to appear sexual, only beautiful. And even then I hate comments aimed at my body in some way anyway so xD "you look nice today" fine but "you are so beautiful" STOP! So yeah I totally get where you're coming from but since I'm an Ace who enjoys sex to some degree and has had sexual partners, thats the place I like feeling sexy. In the bedroom or just to them. 8) I'm still coming to terms with being ace and that the world isn't how I viewed it previously, I was always very confused why sometimes men would do things like tell me they'd touch themselves thinking of me? Makes me want to take a long hot shower *shiver* Link to post Share on other sites
Dawg4280 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I do not envy women on this, guys are rarely approached with sexual intent. The problem I have had before is being accused of checking girls out, liking girls, etc when I really just find people pretty. The most annoying is when you could tell that a girl thinks you want to have sex with her, hate that. Now I just tell them I am ace Link to post Share on other sites
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