NotApplicable785 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I'm sure this topic has come up before, but I'd like to ask anyway. This is for everyone (ace, grey-ace, demi, etc). Have you had sex? Do you wish you hadn't? Or: Have you not had sex? Do you wish you had? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Depends on whether you count in virtual (phone/cyber) sex. If so, then yes, and I don't regret it. It's been a good couple of years ago by now, though. If you don't count virtual stuff... then nope. And I don't wish I had, either - definitely intending to keep my virginity for the rest of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
allrightalready Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 i am demi and i have been in serious relationships, yes i have had sex i have also given in to pressure to have sex when i really did not want to and i do regret giving in. of course i cannot change the past so i just live with it and know that from now on i am living life for me rather than to satisfy others Link to post Share on other sites
Agape Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Yup, I've had sex. Eh, doesn't bother me. I don't count virginity as some mystical state that must be protected... Link to post Share on other sites
That asexual guy Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I've had sex. I don't really wish I hadn't. I think it helped me understand myself better. I don't particularly care to ever have it again though. I have nothing else to figure out. Link to post Share on other sites
GoosePeelings Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Never have, never will. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I have and I don't regret it. I never much cared if I did or did not. Link to post Share on other sites
animanova Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I have not had sex and am not interested in it at all. I would prefer not to. Link to post Share on other sites
Otohime Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Yes, and in some ways, I regret it. I felt extremely violated, it was extremely painful, and I felt used. I felt manipulated most of all because I let it happen more than once despite knowing I hated it. And my bf at the time did manipulate me (telling me that he would leave, that no one else would ever love me because sex is just part of life, that something was wrong with me if I didn't like sex and I just needed to connect with that part of myself, etc, etc)... he knew I didn't like sex, but didn't respect me enough to hear what I wouldn't say. But I do blame myself because ultimately, it was up to me and I didn't respect myself enough to listen to what inner voice said. I listened to my bf and to society's voice, and that wasn't right.On the other hand, I don't regret the experience so much. Because of that relationship, it sent me on a path to discovering asexuality, because that wasn't something I had grown up knowing about. I shutter at the idea of what might have happened if I had waited until marriage before having sex (which is what I originally wanted) and THEN discover that I hate sex and I'm asexual -- but meanwhile being married to a sexual who wanted frequent sex. That's like I worst nightmare situation that I can think of.I understand myself a lot better now, and I've accepted who I am. I respect myself now. If I hadn't ever experienced sex, there might still be that question. So it's okay, and now if I'm in a relationship, I can explain my boundaries and if someone won't respect them, then I'm strong enough to walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
RazorEddie Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I haven't and I don't wish I had ;) Link to post Share on other sites
herlo Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 nope, virgin here. I hope to do it at least once so i know what its like then i will decide whether i will do it more or never again, Im really on the fence on how i feel about doing it Link to post Share on other sites
NotApplicable785 Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 It's cool to see the variety of responses! A common theme, it seems, is that either way we don't care enough about sex to judge the experience (or lack thereof) as important. It's interesting that people bring up virginity-- I wasn't really thinking about the question that way; I was just wondering about having sex, not necessarily the first time you had it (or even if it was virtual, just whatever you consider sex). It's unfortunate that some of your experiences involved coercion, but it's good that they ended with you discovering asexuality and accepting yourselves. I haven't had sex, and I don't desire to, but under the right circumstances I might-- sort of like how I've never ridden a horse, and I don't desire to ride a horse, but if the opportunity to ride a horse arose I might go for it just for the experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Vestal Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 No, I never had sex. I got many "offers" but I refused them all. I don't wish I had. And I have no plans to have sex in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Didn't have, don't want. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Have had. Don't regret it, though there are SOME things I did that I kinda wish I hadn't. But, whatever. It all was part of figuring out who I am in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
~RedArcher Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I haven't had sex and I'm glad I'm choosing to remain celibate. My body belongs to me and only me :3 Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainKhaleesi Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I never have and don't really want to. But who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Nope, never needed it, never felt I was missing out on it. Link to post Share on other sites
LaMaestra Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I have never had sex. I never will have sex. I have never desired sex. Beginning, middle and end of it. Link to post Share on other sites
BookTVLover Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I never have and never will. As a sex-repulsed ace, it is not something I believe is necessary for a fulfilling relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
S.Kobold Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I have, and while I don't regret that I've had sex per say - I regret how it happened in almost every case (though I'm thinking very negatively at the moment, and may be forgetting the non-regretable instances). Link to post Share on other sites
Elluna Hellen Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww, noooooo! Why would i want to do that? On a more serious note, I have not had sex and I do not want to. xD Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Nope, haven't had it and thankfully I don't think I need to go having it in order to discover that I don't want it. Feeling like I want to throw up, just at the idea of actually being involve in sex is, I think proof enough that I would severely regret ever going through with it. Link to post Share on other sites
LeaveOnYourColours Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 I haven't but I guess I plan to. For me personally, I don't see the harm it could do. Might enjoy it, might not, might be meh, but I think I'd very much like to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Queeries Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 I have had sex and I don't regret it. I was in a long-term serious relationship and it was fully my choice so despite not feeling sexual attraction to my partner, it seemed fine to me that it would happen and I thought it was a good way to connect with them (which it was for both of us). I probably will have sex in the future because it's not a huge deal to me but we'll see I guess! I don't think I see it as a deeply important thing in my life and I definitely don't see it as an essential part of my life. (wow that was longer than I intended oops) Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Have you not had sex? Do you wish you had? :lol: I'll avoid double negatives!!! --> Yes and no. I'm not really interested in having sex in the future and I'm honestly not at all curious about it. To be honest, I'm a little sex-repulsed and the whole idea of myself in that situation kind of makes me feel ill and very uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartfulPeach Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 No, I haven't had sex and I am not wishing it. Although, I would give it a try to know what it's like and to have a new life experience, maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
JaySexual Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Nope, I've never had sex... As for anything in the future, my feeling if "never say 'never' " , but I think the chance of it(sex) happening is highly unlikely. Link to post Share on other sites
cosmosredshift7 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Nope haven't had sex, and I would really rather not, which is why I want to be with another ace person- I'm not looking to compromise Link to post Share on other sites
Bubblegun Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 I haven't with either gender yet, but I plan to. A guy friend and I have discussed it at length and, after repeatedly telling him that I do not and will not have feelings for him--that this would be purely to satisfy my own curiosity--we came to an agreement to have sex sometime in the near future. The very idea of sleeping with a guy is repulsive to me (women, not so much), but I want to try it regardless. The only "desire" I have for sex at this point in my life is to say that I've had it, see what everyone else is raving about, and get some experience under my belt. Link to post Share on other sites
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