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Any Trouble Coming Out as Asexual?


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Hey everyone! My name is Demi, and I recently just came out to my family and friends that I am asexual. I've been dealing with a lot of negativity for being asexual, and I was wondering if anyone else has ever had to deal with the same thing? Growing up, I never had an attraction towards any gender, though many thought (and still do) I was gay to my effeminate mannerisms. I was never bullied for this, but I got to be quite irritating and confusing, because I felt people were pressuring me to fit in one specific category. For awhile I thought that maybe I was gay, and just didn't realize it yet. I have never been in a relationship nor do I want to be in a relationship. I tried to force myself to be attracted toward one gender or another, but it just never worked out.

I honestly thought there was something wrong with me, until I saw the (A)sexuality documentary. After seeing it, I was no longer confused about my sexuality. I definitely do not desire to be in a relationship whether it's romantic or sexual. I'd rather have one real close friend than to have a partner. I'm guessing I would be considered an aromantic asexual? When I finally told my parents, they weren't surprised at all. My mother told me it was extremely obvious that I'm not attracted to either gender. However, I wish I could say the same for my friends. All of my friends, including my best friends who have known me for years, took it very immaturely. They either think I'm broken, or they keep trying to find someone for me. The majority of my friends are all in relationships, and it's frustrating when we hangout, because they make a big deal of me being single. It's gotten to the point that I try not to talk to them, and I keep more to myself. I didn't think it's that big of a deal, but clearly it is. Have any of you dealt with the same situation, or have any advice? I've been trying to make new friends, but I try not to bring up my sexuality to avoid the immaturity. I've just been letting my new friends think whatever sexuality they want me to be. I do not correct them at all to avoid getting into an argument on how asexuality is actually a thing.

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Hope I can help! I haven't come out to my family yet apart from my sister who in all honesty, doesn't care. Though I get the underlying sense that she thinks it's a bit odd. I told two of my close friends and the one was very accepting, she herself came out as bisexual last year so had a level of understanding though the other one has indirectly said it's creepy and similar to your friends, always tries to get me to be with someone.

I really relate with you being considered gay because of your lack of interest in whichever gender you "should" be with. I've had a lot of suspicions about me being gay but I just leave it be. I often make "asexual" quips like showing clear disinterest in relationships or anyone sexually and so forth. But no one has got the hint yet, I still don't know whether to just keep it to myself until necessary.

I'm proud that you have finally come out and hope you feel better for it. It's so, well, immature of them, as you said, for your friends to act in the way they are doing so because your feelings and levels attraction are fine and suit you and I hope you do find happiness in whatever way you wish. I also hope that people begin to understand you and not constantly question your feelings. If you ever want to talk to anyone, you've got all of us here on AVEN! And there will be friends who will be much more willing to accept. I wish you the best of luck! :)

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GoosePeelings

Another AroAce here.

It's a shame how they took it. I hope they do some research or even just accept it.

I've come out to my father and my sister by far. The first time I talked to him about it was when I asked whether he thinks Aces should be part of the LGBT-community, to which he said we shouldn't because we aren't oppressed the way homosexuals are. Sure, he's right, but that's only because we're invisible.

Well, the the I 'came out' was when he asked if I was asexual. I said 'yeah', he didn't say anything. I guess he accepted it.

And my sister was indifferent. We aren't close enough so she generally stays away from me.

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I dont think Ill ever come out, unless someone comes on this forum and recognizes me, hehe. I just dont see the point of coming out.

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GwendolynAngel83

I've come out to both my parents, my sister (very recently), and a close friend of mine (though she doesn't really count since she's asexual as well and helped me find the term in the first place ^^'). My parents are fairly accepting, except that they really want me to find a boyfriend of some kind. I am interested in a life partner, but as an aro-ace it's rather difficult to find one and I'm of the mindset of it it happens it happens, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. My sister was, and is still I think, a bit confused. Admittably I kind of dropped it on her. She commented that I'd likely become a mother before she did and I kind of laughed and said I doubted that, which had her asking if I thought I wouldn't find anyone. So I showed her my ring, which confused the heck out of her until I explained some X) She seems pretty chill about it though.

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