para bellum Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Hey guys. This is my first post here :) I'll try to explain the main reason why I started to really question my sexuality. I've had a really strong crush on a (cis) guy and fantasized about him a lot (kissing, sexual activities, random daily life scenarios) but when I was close to him IRL I wouldn't want to be near him or I'd be utterly repulsed by the idea of making my fantasies come true, especially if he displayed any kind of affections towards me as well. Despite this contradiction, the more I stayed away from him, the more I would think about him and yearn for us to become closer, to establish a stronger intellectual and emotional connection. We don't talk anymore since January, but I have thought about him every day, especially because I'm still trying to understand how I was ever able to harbor those conflicted feelings. Comparing my past notes, I found out that I had also struggled with similar crushes on other boys, which is why I started to question if I was really straight (but demisexual), or if I was a lesbian buried deep in denial. The problem is, I don't recall ever having a similar crush on other girls, despite finding them more attractive than boys. Has anyone here experienced something similar? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Lithsexual and Lithromantic? reciprocation (immediately or over time) causing indifference, loss of interest, or repulsion. Though i prefer its alternate title Aposexual/Aporomantic because its prefix isn't a metaphor. But the fact it still exists makes me think Requisexual and Requiromantic, which is best explained with an example. Think of it like an introvert getting exhausted from social interaction and needing alone time to recharge. The reciprocation eventuallycauses negative feelings; repulsion, stress, etc. But you said your reaction is immediate, which makes me think Lith because Requi people have a reciprocation tolerance span and you also didn't specify needing a break period for this negative emotion to subside. It's just that Liths typically have that reaction permanently. But i think Lith fits more. Link to post Share on other sites
Archon Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I agree with what Star Bit said, looking into lithsexuality and lithromanticism might be a good idea. By the way, welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Though i prefer its alternate title Aposexual/Aporomantic because its suffix isn't a metaphor. Nitpick: I'm pretty sure you mean prefix. ;) Suffix would be sexual/romantic which are the same in both cases. @OP: Rather than being a romantic orientation, what you describe could simply be a result of an imagination that is very detached from reality. So when the reality doesn't match what you expect, you become briefly repulsed, then your imagination picks up again. It's happened to me as well, although not as extreme. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 :D edited thnx Link to post Share on other sites
Blaze Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Hey guys. This is my first post here :) I'll try to explain the main reason why I started to really question my sexuality. I've had a really strong crush on a (cis) guy and fantasized about him a lot (kissing, sexual activities, random daily life scenarios) but when I was close to him IRL I wouldn't want to be near him or I'd be utterly repulsed by the idea of making my fantasies come true, especially if he displayed any kind of affections towards me as well. Despite this contradiction, the more I stayed away from him, the more I would think about him and yearn for us to become closer, to establish a stronger intellectual and emotional connection. We don't talk anymore since January, but I have thought about him every day, especially because I'm still trying to understand how I was ever able to harbor those conflicted feelings. Comparing my past notes, I found out that I had also struggled with similar crushes on other boys, which is why I started to question if I was really straight (but demisexual), or if I was a lesbian buried deep in denial. The problem is, I don't recall ever having a similar crush on other girls, despite finding them more attractive than boys. Has anyone here experienced something similar? I've actually felt like this a lot, so I've been wondering about looking into whether I am lithsexual. See, I am dating someone right now, and I often fantasize about kissing him (not sex though), and have thought about kissing other crushes in the past, but when I'm actually with the person, I get totally repulsed. I don't know, there's just a break between fantasy and reality for me that's really frustrating, especially romantically. I feel like I want to date someone and do all these romantic gestures, but when it comes down to it, I don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 There is also Lithsensual. Non-sexual sensual reciprocation resulting in indifference, loss of interest, or repulsion. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace_Kat Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Even though I never experienced that type of stuff, but I bet many other people feel like that. Many people would be nervous around crushes, it is just how people are. If you are still interested in him, you should totally start talking to him again and become friends, and then maybe something more after that. About finding your sexuality, find an identity that sounds like you and it feels right to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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