Can I make up my own sexuality

[Kalactika]

I've seen that a lot of sexualities have came about by tumblr users

I feel like a bunch of different sexualities on the ace spetrum, but I can just say im x-y-z-asexual

I can't just say asexual, for I feel thats its too harsh sorta speak because I drift inside the gray area but never so far that the term covers everything.

I was told that im SOMEWHERE on the line but it can't be pin pointed.

I'd say my ratio sexual:asexual never goes pass 20:80

Its like grayasexual aegosexual cupiosexual and akiosexual fit me good and it makes me happy seeing them all together.

If i had to pick it would be gray-aegosexual, though I can say that I've felt like each before, I expierence sexual attraction under circumstances/what I deem sexually attractive is not the usual. If I just pick 2 i feel like im missing pieces of the whole. So I am so confused because I finally feel a sense of ID when all these terms are together, but I can't exactly translate it as one word... Your input?

[Star Bit]

Aego just means you masturbate, and asexuals masturbate so i find it pointless.

And you can go by all those titles; many asexuals can have a long titles, as do i. You can use Gray-asexual/Gray-sexual to refer to one or multiple terms under its umbrella.

[Guest]

Well, you can describe your orientation however you like. That said, grey-a encompasses a large spectrum of experiences.

Also, labels are almost never perfect. They're simplifications that make our desires easier to understand to others. Use what you're comfortable with, but understand it may well take a fair amount of explaining if it's something you've pieced together to suit yourself and less mainstream.

[Elluna Hellen]

Identify as what you want to identify as. Nobody else needs to have a say in this. If it changes, change the word you use for it. If it doesn't, stick with it. :)

You can always just pick the three that fit you and make it into one term or something. It's your identity, not anyone else's! You don't need anyone's approval!

[Kalactika]

Aego just means you masturbate, and asexuals masturbate so it find it pointless.

And you can go by all those titles; many asexuals can have a long titles, as do i. You can use Gray-asexual/Gray-sexual to refer to one or multiple terms under its umbrella.

When I saw the definition of the word, masturbating never came to mind, I don't feel that its as simple as a asexual who masturbates and I believe those who choose to ID with it are valid, and they may never masturbate all.

I don't want added stress with "gray-cupio-akoi-aego-asexual", I can feel the panic attack trying to explain it- let alone the fact I have speech issues.

I feel as though these terms flow in and out of the frame at any given moment... And well not having a word for it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe its not a problem for you but i'd like a word....

[Star Bit]

Then what do you think Aegosexual means?

There is a word for what you're looking for and it's an umbrella term. Gray-Asexual is an umbrella term for anything between having sexual attraction and not; Cupio and Akoi (aka Lith or Apo) are under it. You can just use the term Gray-A without the extra details of why you chose it.

[Kalactika]

Well, you can describe your orientation however you like. That said, grey-a encompasses a large spectrum of experiences.

Also, labels are almost never perfect. They're simplifications that make our desires easier to understand to others. Use what you're comfortable with, but understand it may well take a fair amount of explaining if it's something you've pieced together to suit yourself and less mainstream.

In the end It is my decision what I want to be called for sure and when i would call myself gray-a i felt a little have full.

I didn't want to go around making up words, like am I qualified to do that? Lol

And you are right I guess the labels won't always be perfect!

Then what do you think Aegosexual means?

Gray-Asexual is an umbrella term for anything between having sexual attraction and not; Cupio and Akoi (aka Lith and Apo) are under it. You can just use the term Gray-A without the extra details of why you chose it.

I took the definition as being at an orchestra and appreciating it, submerged in the sound, but you aren't going to pull out your harmonica and join in.

I understood the Gray-a describes multiple expierences, but if their are subcatigories under that umbrella and people do call themselves that instead of gray-a... Then what is wrong with me too wanting a word if gray-a doesn't also satisfy the way I feel?

I thought I was entitled to at least that lol

[Star Bit]

No, it means you get aroused by erotica. You masturbate. That's it.

You could elaborate past the simplification like i did with my A/Sexuality.

How does Gray-A not satisfy you? It literally means you identify being in-between having sexual attraction and not. Unless you mean it's too vague. Cupio-Akoisexual is a fine title (though i prefer Aposexual because its prefix is't a metaphor).

[Kalactika]

Identify as what you want to identify as. Nobody else needs to have a say in this. If it changes, change the word you use for it. If it doesn't, stick with it. :)

You can always just pick the three that fit you and make it into one term or something. It's your identity, not anyone else's! You don't need anyone's approval!

You are completely right! I guess I was just looking for an ok to ID as i want but I don't need the stamp of approval! Thanks

No, it means you get aroused by erotica. You masturbate. That's it.

Thats not what I believe. I believe a asexual who masturbates and reads erotica is an asexual that does so. An aego doesn't have to do any of these. You are entitled to your opinion, and you don't have to be respectful of someone feeling completion with a term, but we can agree to disagree? Everyone wants validation they way they come, I'm willing to give and accept that. Thank you for your input.

[Star Bit]

Asexuals can have a positive perspective on sex. Yes, you can choose to not to take the term Gray-Asexual, but I'm telling you that's the definition behind Aegosexual. Its prefixes literally mean without-self-sexual; its original term of Autochroissexual (recently renamed with shorter prefixes) was created by a sex-doctor and meant they were only aroused by things that didn't include themselves; which translates to erotica.

[Null_and_Void]

Everyone has their own preferences. The labels that we use are simply generalizations. For instance, a heterosexual man is not attracted to ALL women. he simply uses this label to convey the fact that all people that he is attracted to are women. One hetero man may be exclusively attracted to white girls, and another to black girls. Their preferences never overlap, yet they use the same label.

So, yes, you can use whatever label you want, because in actuality, it doesn't matter. We are what we are, and all labels do is help us tell other people, in a general sense, what we're into.

[Ricki]

I've said it before I'll say it again. ID with whatever you're comfortable with, just don't expect people to know what you're on about.

If you find a term that feels true to you then yaaaay :D If at some point you feel it no longer fits you, then change from it. As long as you're happy then who cares, right?

[Kalactika]

Everyone has their own preferences. The labels that we use are simply generalizations. For instance, a heterosexual man is not attracted to ALL women. he simply uses this label to convey the fact that all people that he is attracted to are women. One hetero man may be exclusively attracted to white girls, and another to black girls. Their preferences never overlap, yet they use the same label.

So, yes, you can use whatever label you want, because in actuality, it doesn't matter. We are what we are, and all labels do is help us tell other people, in a general sense, what we're into.

Oh, yeah, i like the way u put that. Simple as it is, I want a word to rely to others, simple as that!

Asexuals can have a positive perspective on sex. Yes, you can choose to not to take the term Gray-Asexual, but I'm telling you that's the definition behind Aegosexual. Its suffixes literally mean without-self-sexual; its original term of Autochroissexual (recently renamed with shorter suffixes) was created by a sex-doctor and meant they were only aroused by things that didn't include them; which translates to erotica.

I understand all this, I was saying that what you said was shrugging off people who go by aego. Like one could say asexuals are just straight people who can't see sex appeal or don't get sex, or black people are just darker white people. Though these both may have some kind of truth, its just things u don't say for they strip the person of identity. And I'm sure those comments aren't things that make people feel great about themsleves. Just as if I were to take your sexuality and make it a blunt statement you may or may not feel that those words suit who you are. Especially if its taken you some time to find and accept who you are. So I will address you by what makes you happy, cause thats just what you do. And aego may be a more sex intrigued asexual, but there is nothing wrong with wanting a word to describe yourself that FINALLY clicks with you. Don' take that way from people.

I've said it before I'll say it again. ID with whatever you're comfortable with, just don't expect people to know what you're on about.

If you find a term that feels true to you then yaaaay :D If at some point you feel it no longer fits you, then change from it. As long as you're happy then who cares, right?

You are 100% right! I think its natural to seek validation from like people.

[Rising Sun]

Labels rarely describe us entirely, and it's a very good thing that they can't define us entirely, so they can't really limit us. Plus, most people feel lost when we use all those complicated labels with them, so sometimes it's better to simplify by using a more general label or even using a label that doesn't 100% fit, but you can explain more in depth why you're using it later. After all, the only person who needs to know everything about your sexual orientation is your partner if you have one, and you've got much time to explain them. What matters about labels is that you use what you feel the most comfortable with, and which is simple enough to explain to others in less than one minute. It doesn't have to 100% describe you. If a specific label gives a good global picture (without entering too much into specific details) of what you are, it's the right one then.

[Kalactika]

Labels rarely describe us entirely, and it's a very good thing that they can't define us entirely, so they can't really limit us. Plus, most people feel lost when we use all those complicated labels with them, so sometimes it's better to simplify by using a more general label or even using a label that doesn't 100% fit, but you can explain more in depth why you're using it later. After all, the only person who needs to know everything about your sexual orientation is your partner if you have one, and you've got much time to explain them. What matters about labels is that you use what you feel the most comfortable with, and which is simple enough to explain to others in less than one minute. It doesn't have to 100% describe you. If a specific label gives a good global picture (without entering too much into specific details) of what you are, it's the right one then.

Mmmmm yeahhh i see what you mean! Just that using gray-a doesnt make me happy. I'll figure something out!

[Charcoal face paint]

Hey, I know other people have already said go for it but I just thought I'd pop in and tell you the same thing. Cause you know, the more the merrier of whatever. I think you should make your own word and turn it into something on tumblr or whatever and post it to the internet with the definition so that people know what it means. you never know, you may find others who feel the exact same way as you and are glad to finally have something that they can use instead of feeling like a freak or like they don't belong.

[Kalactika]

Hey, I know other people have already said go for it but I just thought I'd pop in and tell you the same thing. Cause you know, the more the merrier of whatever. I think you should make your own word and turn it into something on tumblr or whatever and post it to the internet with the definition so that people know what it means. you never know, you may find others who feel the exact same way as you and are glad to finally have something that they can use instead of feeling like a freak or like they don't belong.

Yes! I may do this!

[Star Bit]

I unserstand your points and agree with them except on this one matter; this one word. I'm not the only one on here that dislikes the term; it makes masturbating its own sexuality/makes newcomers who hear of it, or end up hearing of it, think asexuality doesn't include masturbation.

[Kalactika]

I unserstand your points and agree with them except on this one matter; this one word. I'm not the only one on here that dislikes the term; it makes masturbating its own sexuality/makes newcomers who hear of it, or end up hearing of it, think asexuality doesn't include masturbation.

Ok I see. I've read that other people in the ace community snub this term, leaving those who use it upset and feeling rejected by their peers. I myself rarely masturbate/read erotica and what not, but the term still rings a bell for me and its unfortunate that the term has a bad rep. Like I described it: going to a concert enjoying the music, but you aren't going to go on stage and grab the microphone. This said, an asexual wouldn't even be at the concert because they don't like the music. I don't plan to change your mind though.

[Star Bit]

Like I described it: going to a concert enjoying the music, but you aren't going to go on stage and grab the microphone.

Again, that's possable for Asexuals, so...

Asexual just means no sexual attraction, nothing more; the term isn't literal.

[Kalactika]

Like I described it: going to a concert enjoying the music, but you aren't going to go on stage and grab the microphone.

Again, that's possable for Asexuals, so...

Asexual just means no sexual attraction, nothing more; the term isn't literal.

Any one can identify with what they choose, its not like its a term describing asexuals who only like the color blue. Sexuality doesn't have to be cut throat. And most people have done so much research, Don't they get enough credit to know what they aren't at least?

Demisexual are just asexuals who want a bond with someone before they are intimate.

Asexuals are just pans/straights/gays who don't see others as sexy.

This holds a smither of truth, not great but one could say.

Aego came out of tumblr based off a term made by a allosexual doctor. http://hunterinabrowncoat.tumblr.com/post/99582276771/on-autochorissexualism-akiosexuality-and

I now have 5 sub-sexualities in the asexual spectrum that I identify with. Maybe I will make a term for it, and someone just like me will feel a wave of relief dor validation and someone Like you will call out bs even if we are suppose to be on the same side. But thats how life goes right? I found happiness in this ongoing journey, I'm not letting you take it from me.

Thank you for this conversation, but I see no need for it to continue.

[Claeya]

I always thought that the term for someone who moves around on the spectrum within categories, is Aceflux? as in, it fluctuates.

[Kalactika]

I always thought that the term for someone who moves around on the spectrum within categories, is Aceflux? as in, it fluctuates.

Someone suggested this to me, but the term just idk? I guess I just want to have something more specific

[gayasanaro]

I've seen that a lot of sexualities have came about by tumblr users

I feel like a bunch of different sexualities on the ace spetrum, but I can just say im x-y-z-asexual

I can't just say asexual, for I feel thats its too harsh sorta speak because I drift inside the gray area but never so far that the term covers everything.

I was told that im SOMEWHERE on the line but it can't be pin pointed.

I'd say my ratio sexual:asexual never goes pass 20:80

Its like grayasexual aegosexual cupiosexual and akiosexual fit me good and it makes me happy seeing them all together.

If i had to pick it would be gray-aegosexual, though I can say that I've felt like each before, I expierence sexual attraction under circumstances/what I deem sexually attractive is not the usual. If I just pick 2 i feel like im missing pieces of the whole. So I am so confused because I finally feel a sense of ID when all these terms are together, but I can't exactly translate it as one word... Your input?

Aren't cupio and akoi opposites though? Cupio means you don't experience sexual attraction but do want sex, akoi means you do experience sexual attraction but don't want sex. I'm not sure about aego though

[scarletlatitude]

In answer to the OP -- yes. Make up your own words if none of them fit you. :)

I am running for mod of this forum, and if I win, we need to work on a dictionary of sexuality terms. Not so that we can label people necessarily, but so that those who want a label can be a bit less confused.

[The_Verse]

It sounds like you're in a similar position to me so I can relate.

Sometimes having a word makes us "fit" right? It's like we know who we are and can describe it and there's a word for it, which means it DOES exist!

Loads of people have given you plenty of advice though. :)

Everyone has their own preferences. The labels that we use are simply generalizations. For instance, a heterosexual man is not attracted to ALL women. he simply uses this label to convey the fact that all people that he is attracted to are women. One hetero man may be exclusively attracted to white girls, and another to black girls. Their preferences never overlap, yet they use the same label.

So, yes, you can use whatever label you want, because in actuality, it doesn't matter. We are what we are, and all labels do is help us tell other people, in a general sense, what we're into.

Can I just say that this has made me feel SO much about myself and thank you so much for writing it. I often worry about "lying" if I put down a slightly inaccurate label for myself, but actually you're right. Mainstream sexualities generalise too. :) Thanks.