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Only want it when... (TMI)


interpol

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For some time now I've noticed I can only honestly picture myself having full sex or even wanting a penis inside of me when I'm in the actual act of self stimulating. Sometimes self stimulating gets me nowhere and it's boring, but when it does it feels like, "man, a guy inside and a release of tension would feel so good right now." Except then I freak out at the thought of having even a finger inside but that's another story.

I've always been attracted to caring but strong men, and it makes me want to take care of them but not always in a sexual manner. What I don't know, and I'm wondering if this is true, is whether women don't necessarily want sex unless they're being aroused by something or someone----and the ones that desire sex more have had physically pleasurable experiences and they want to seek out that again because of the brain pathway the experience carved. There's some medical literature that suggests that women don't want it as much until they're aroused and seek the release of tension, and I'm wondering if that's what is going on here. Despite me feeling bashful about the possibility of being naked and revealing self harm marks, or thinking it's fair for him to be naked but not me.

Does anyone else experience this?

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I kind of get what you mean. But there's a difference between feeling sexually attracted to someone, and wanting the physical experience of sex. Everyone would want to have sex more when they're aroused - that's what the point of that bodily function is for. But people who aren't asexual become sexually attracted to people even when they aren't aroused.

What you seem to be saying is that you only feel you would want to have a guy inside you during the time when you're masturbating, but you seem to just be referring to the feel of a penis, rather that the whole act of sexual intercourse and the emotions that allosexual people associate with it. So, the same effect could be achieved with some kind of sex toy. At least that's how I interpret what you've said.

I don't entirely know if I'm addressing your question how you were hoping someone would, but basically I'm trying to say that just because you think the shape of a penis would feel good when you're aroused, doesn't mean it's the same thing that allosexual people experience. It's not the same as sexual attraction because it's just to do with an isolated body part, not a specific person as a whole.

(Sorry that this was worded really badly by the way.)

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~RedArcher

I feel the same way, at times.

It's a fact that many women have a natural aversion or "ick" factor to sex during the daily, humdrum routine, but when aroused, it's like a lowering of inhibitions and they seem more okay with doing things they wouldn't normally consider when not in a state of arousal. Hence why some people wake up in the morning and feel awkward and embarrassed about what took place last night XD

It doesn't necessarily mean you'd be okay width having full sex, it's just the chemical combination going on in our brains at that moment.

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I kind of get what you mean. But there's a difference between feeling sexually attracted to someone, and wanting the physical experience of sex. Everyone would want to have sex more when they're aroused - that's what the point of that bodily function is for. But people who aren't asexual become sexually attracted to people even when they aren't aroused.

What you seem to be saying is that you only feel you would want to have a guy inside you during the time when you're masturbating, but you seem to just be referring to the feel of a penis, rather that the whole act of sexual intercourse and the emotions that allosexual people associate with it. So, the same effect could be achieved with some kind of sex toy. At least that's how I interpret what you've said.

I don't entirely know if I'm addressing your question how you were hoping someone would, but basically I'm trying to say that just because you think the shape of a penis would feel good when you're aroused, doesn't mean it's the same thing that allosexual people experience. It's not the same as sexual attraction because it's just to do with an isolated body part, not a specific person as a whole.

(Sorry that this was worded really badly by the way.)

I think I was getting at if anyone else felt like this: a little appalled at the thought of doing things just because it's sex and there's nudity involved, but once aroused feeling like it might be quite fun/wouldn't be so bad. I am referring to the actual penis and entire act of intercourse when I say this.

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princesspeach

I get you - Thinking about having sex kinda repulses me most of the time but when I'm reading smutty fics or get aroused some other way then I think it might not be too bad? My thing is I don't actually enjoy it when it's happening so then I go into a loop and am repulsed again... Not sure what to do about this/how to interpret that...

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Miss Wrong

Sometimes I do sexual-partner stuff (because my boyfriend is sexual) and it feels good while I'm doing it, but I never want it before or after. Once I'm being stimulated it feels nice, but until I'm in the moment I don't want it, and after it ends I have no desire to do it again. This makes me feel torn about my attraction which is why I'm thinking I'm gray-sexual rather than demi-sexual.

So like. I enjoy it. But. I don't want it.

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I can't imagine wanting sex while unaroused? I mean while unaroused I can find myself thinking, yeah sex would be nice now- but that would involve arousal before PIV sex or anything like that.

With female anatomy, sex without arousal supposedly sucks.

Also I think that desire is partly due to the fact that female sex organs are designed to accommodate/ be simulated by male sex organs. I definitely know the feeling you're talking about. I think it's probably just sensation and instinct absed

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