Jump to content

sex repulsion - how do you know?


Recommended Posts

Alright so I've been thinking about this a lot lately because someone I know is pregnant and having her baby soon, and thoughts about one thing lead to another and I find myself thinking about sex and kind of being like "Gross!" I always thought I wasn't sex-repulsed -- it was a neutral topic for me. Like yeah, I don't want to have sex, but other people can do whatever they want. But now that I've been considering it a bit more, I find that thinking about sex concerning myself at all really disgusts me, and even just barely thinking about sex between other people disgusts me as well... I'm not sure what part of it repels me so much, and to be entirely honest, I've had difficulty determining that because I don't really like thinking about it at all.

I guess my question is, if you're sex-repulsed, how did you come to realize this, and what made you comfortable with that identification? Did you feel the need to prove it to yourself, or did you know just because you were repulsed by it? If repulsed by it, was it just sex in general regardless of who was involved, or was it a repulsion of sex involving yourself?

I'm sorry if there's already been a post about this, I tried to find one but couldn't find one that specifically answered my questions.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sex-repulsion for me came in the form of me trying to force myself to do something sexual. I wanted to break a mental barrier, to prove to myself I could do something. When the opportunity came and I started to do sexual activity with someone, I just couldn't. It felt too unnatural in that moment. I won't say gross because that wasn't the word. It was a limitation on my emotional willingness, despite consciously wanting to.

I froze up and just couldn't continue :/ and I didn't know I was repulsed until that day. Granted I'm repulsed until certain requirements have been met as I've been able to move beyond that barrier since with the opposite sex. *shrugs*

Link to post
Share on other sites

I tried to force myself to "experiment" after several therapists and family members insisted, and it didn't get far because it just felt so strange and abnormal for me to do, and kind of made me feel nauseous. We could also look at the mechanics of sex - basically two (or more) people rubbing parts of their urinary system together and sharing body fluids. Yeah, not something that even seems remotely appealing to me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Repulsed means intense disgust. You're just disgusted. Sex-averse is more accurate.

Link to post
Share on other sites

As far as I know, sex-repulsion can take the form of repulsion at the idea of having sex yourself, but it can also be repulsion at the idea of sex in general, or grey areas in between- there isn't really one singular definition of sex-repulsion. But it was pretty easy for me to figure out that I'm sex repulsed- I thought about having sex, and thought "EEEEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!" Also, when I realized people around me were starting to have sex, it kinda freaked me out. So yeah, not hard for me to figure out. ^_^

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, not something that even seems remotely appealing to me.

Repulsed means intense disgust. You're just disgusted. Sex-averse is more accurate.

Thanks! This sounds a lot like what I've been feeling

Link to post
Share on other sites
Elluna Hellen

Me at twelve: Sex is eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

Me at 24: Sex is still EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

That probably says enough lol xD. I'm not repulsed to the point where I freak out at the slightest thought or mention of it, but I do think I'm a bit sex-averse if nothing else

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Lady.Lizard

I've always been of the opinion where 'Sex...ewwww...why the hell would you do that, people?'

But, I decided that to find my limit of sexuality I would just...hand myself over to my boyfriend and tell him when to stop at the point where I became uncomfortable. thing is, it wasn't that clear cut until after the event when I would run into a corner, cry, shake and be terrified of going near him. Subsequent times, I decided to just grit my teeth and let him have his fun for fear of losing him; in the end I couldn't cope and we broke up.

When you feel repulsion it will be very clear to you, for me it was a sense of panic, wanting to run away and me physically trying to move away from him (which he sadly took as flirtatious encouragement).

My advice is, if it doesn't appeal..then don't think any more about it. Your mind knows you better than you think, don't try and double guess your feelings or manipulate them because they will backfire. :) :cake:

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross

For me, I guess it came as a result of realization. I was ignorant for a time and just took what people said about sex at face value, though admittedly I didnt get the things they said half the time. I remember once that a classmate came and asked me how did I "milk it" . I didn't understand what he meant by that, after another question or two, he got the point and dropped the questions, though i still hadn't understand.

You could say that even as I became curious, i still didn't put 2 and 2 together. Then one day it started affecting me in a negative, especially when I saw genitals, through porn since I never experimented in real life. And slowly it became a thing that didn't produce a good feeling in me until it reach what it is now. Not sure if it falls under repulsion per se or aversion but I know that the feeling it produces is not pretty.

Link to post
Share on other sites
happytriangles

Before I knew what intimacy felt like, I didn't have such an aversion as I do now, but whenever I fantasized the fantasy would never include me nor anyone I knew (crush or otherwise). At the time, I never gave it a second thought. Once I had my first make out, I thought "okay wow that was not fun... maybe I just need to do it again??" and hat didn't work out. Same thing with intimacy. I felt the need to test myself, try to change the way I felt about it and jeeze that sure didn't work! Over time I just became more and more averse to it (I don't think I've ever been repulsed, I think if I was with the same libido as I have now, I would be having an anxiety attack every other day :/)

As for how I realized it (not pleasing imagery ahead) ... I didn't "realize" it at first, but I describe the feeling I got from intimacy as being dropped into a tub of goo, forced to sit in it for 10 minutes, and taken out and left to sit without a towel for a week. The actual realization came after I had heard about asexuality and sex aversion/repulsion + one more even of messing around. After that, the idea of sex has been "nope, nope, nope-itty-nope". Whenever my libido acts up, I'm just going "here we go again..." so I've been actively finding ways to take my mind off it.

In the regard of what I'm averse to, that's a tad more specific. When it shows up in a book or any written word, I'm okay with that. When an NSFW gif shows up on my Tumblr dash, I feel like I'm watching a train wreck with my head just going "ugh...". When it comes the actual idea of sex, hearing sex noises, actual intimacy, those sort of things, I feel like I'm about to throw up/have an anxiety attack. I've gotten curious before and tried to watch porn/hentai and WOW NO. I *shivers* yeah...

I hope that answers your questions. Let me know if I didn't cover something!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross

I wonder what would happen if a person was never exposed to the things that ultimately end in aversion/repulsion, could their view stay neutral?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder what would happen if a person was never exposed to the things that ultimately end in aversion/repulsion, could their view stay neutral?

I don't think so... at least, not for everyone. I would definitely say that I'm sex-repulsed (I could not imagine myself ever having sex), but I've never come anywhere close to it. I've never seen porn, or been in an awkward sexual situation, nothing to really trigger sex-repulsion.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sexual themes don't bother me, but rather bore me. When the topic of sex gets shifted to myself, that's when I have an issue with it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...