joesmo28 Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I am a male asexual (i think). I find that during kissing / caressing i can get aroused, but sex feels like work and i can never "finish". Anyone else can relate to this? I've had several partners / attempts at sex, but the same result.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Palovana Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Ehhh...if you're sexually attracted to people, you're not asexual. Asexual has nothing to do with sexual dysfunction. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Archon Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I don't know how you feel but if sex feels like work, then maybe you don't actually want to finish? Arousal can be enjoyable without following through on it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Acting sexually toward someone you're not sexually attracted to can be an arousal deterrent, asexuals can have problems with arousal, orgasming, and less pleasure. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
C-Lo Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Yes. Yes I can relate. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Cannot relate (because I'm female), but heard a similar story from a male friend (who's relatively sexual though). He find's it easier without the pressure of having to go all the way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Batts Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Maybe it's more of an emotional thing than an asexual thing. If it feels like a chore there is more to it in my opinion. I don't mind the kissing and touching stuff but I don't get aroused by it. The thought of sex however makes me feel disgusted. I like that I don't have to put up with putting out. I dunno. Maybe talk to yr GP and make sure everything is medically ok and go from there. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
That asexual guy Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I can relate. You are not alone. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dalekav Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I can definitely relate. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
joesmo28 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 Thanks everyone....now i feel the best option is to go back to the GP, even though my bloodwork was fine the first time, including normal testosterone levels. I've had a history of anxiety...so perhaps that is the ultimate culprit that's making sex feel like work. It's confusing quite frankly. It's causing enormous stress with my current girl i'm seeing. I appreciate your responses!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
joesmo28 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 Thanks everyone....now i feel the best option is to go back to the GP, even though my bloodwork was fine the first time, including normal testosterone levels. I've had a history of anxiety...so perhaps that is the ultimate culprit that's making sex feel like work. It's confusing quite frankly. It's causing enormous stress with my current girl i'm seeing. I appreciate your responses!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Sex has always felt like work. I enjoyed all the things leading up to the "finish", but never the "finish" itself. The foreplay and intimacy were great, but the actual sex act was never good. As I can "finish" when I'm alone, I'm sure, for me, that it's not a medical issue. I am Asexual and loving it! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheLycanthrope Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 The few times I have had (reluctant) sex with people to rid myself of the virgin stigma I never finished. It wasn't pleasurable at all. With masturbation I can get myself aroused after some working and thinking etc. but it can take a while to finish, sometimes I have just given up. When you don't find other people sexually attractive it can be hard to get yourself aroused (but that is why we have the internet). So, I can relate a litle bit. . . but it has never been a major problem of mine. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
joesmo28 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 I hate the fact I could be ace...really hating it. Prospects of no children, no partner, I feel castrated from society. Oh well, it's a bombshell but I suppose I can adapt to the reality : ( Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Being ace does not mean no partner or no children. If you can masturbate, you can have kids. Finding a compatable partner may be hard, but not impossible. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
joesmo28 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 I hope Tja (aka Aragorn).....I hope Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 A positive attitude is a good first step. ;) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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