*sensational touches start* ME - hell no you bastard. HE - what the hack is wrong with you?!?

[cocosorbin]

soo first of all I would like to say hi to all of you here...

as topich title say, I think I'm asexual...

I don't know if that bothers you all or it bothers just me?!?

so I would like to tell you my story as shorter as I can.. I am not sure if anyone would like to read this and give opinion on this..but anyways I will try...

I am 20 years old and still a virgin. As much as I am proud of the fact that I am still untouched among girls who practice sex from the age I still played with dolls and me as a person who has lot of attention from guys all ages but always rejected - that much it bothers me.

When I think about sex I dont feel any desire or sattisfaction.. I dont feel fear neither. Of course, fair of pain which is normal. Also I'm not romantic at all.. I just dont like it.. so people who know about my problems make usualy jokes like "haha girl you are for nothing. how do you want relationship than?!?"

in fact, i dont want relationship too.. i dont like any contacts in any level. and dont want such obligation as relationship.. but i push myself... sometimes i feel not normally high attraction to 3 persons in my entire life. that lasts long for couple days and than i come back on my usual point of nothing...

i readed lot about psychology, worl religions..im interrested in high dimensions and mind... that is only contact i can develop..

i had boyfriend, first one, few months ago.. i could develop some kind feelings for him.. but the more sexual things came, more agressive and confused i was.. and than just stepped back..

i can speak about sex for hours but still not feel any real desire.. thats why people think i have pretty good sexual life.

but here comes that "problem" part.. i wish i could be more open, at least to sex... even kissing i find bothering... the older i am.. more distanced i become from any "normal" things in todays world...

i come from europe.. 19 years lived in Croatia (where people in my city and surroundings never heard of it.. and practice looot of sex).. now i live in germany.. here are people more open to stuffs like those but still i meet either persons who are way too romantic or waay too willing sex.. both distracts me more and i think that soon i will get one more in a row deppression period...

as a conclusion i find it good to have first sex with someone whom i trust and than just switch partners until i become that inner wish.. people, dont judge me, please.. im desperate.. im lost.. i dont know what to do or what to think.. my contacts with people dont last longer than couple months.. that ruins my social life in every aspect.. not just lack of sex.. also lack of emotions...

[Star Bit]

The three people you felt unusually attracted to could be a number of things. Some people like kissing and others don't, it's fine.

A list of attractions: (They can all be felt separately and in different combinations-- other than romantic attraction; obviously, the following attractions can also be felt platonically)

· Sexual attraction- its definition is still debated upon, but I've deducted it as uninfluenced sexual arousal due to the presence of a person (not solely due to a turn on spot, fetish, or nudity/suggestion of sex) and the desire/impulse to do sexual things to/with that person (indifference is not desire). Put simply, sexual arousal + sexual desire = sexual attraction. Alone they do not make it. (i.e. just a bodily response of sexual arousal or undirected desire in which they do not find anyone sexually enticing but desire sex, but the latter is typically called Cupiosexual)

· Romantic attraction- without the other attractions present and all the variations in intensity and wants and unwants that are possible in a romantic relationship, it's left up to an emotion, and emotions don't translate well into words so it's then left up to your own interpretation if they're platonic, romantic, or queerplatonic (QP). Some people have a physical reaction to the feeling (i.e. butterflies in your stomach, etc,) and others don't. Other threads have tried to put it into words but always came back to it being platonically applicable. But it at least involves soft/fuzzy feelings and a fixation which can differ in intensity by person.

· Aesthetic attraction- a fixation on someone because of their looks and or mannerisms; having a pull to look at them. It is different from recognizing good looks/ what is "aesthetically pleasing" with no fixation. This does not automatically mean a romantic or platonic relationship is desired but attractions can be felt with other attractions.

· Sensual attraction- having an urge to have non-sexual physical contact; to cuddle, hold hands, etc. Platonically displaying this can qualify as a type of queerplatonic relationship (QPR). This would probably only differ from romantic sensual attraction with chaste kissing and be best compared to the same desired display toward a pet. But this word is typically applied toward other humans.

· Emotional attraction- a fixation on someone because of their emotions; and by extent, personality; how they are stoic, optimistic, etc. I would compare it to admirance or a favorite character. This does not automatically mean a romantic or platonic relationship is desired but attractions can be felt with other attractions.

· Platonic attraction- a strong desire to know or befriend someone (aka squish; a play on the romantic word crush, but a desire to know someone is also typically felt in the average romantic attraction). Many Aromantics misinterpreted this as romantic attraction before knowing their orientation. Romantics and Aromantics can have squishes.

[TrAse]

I sort of understand where you are coming from. What might help is being honest about what you don't want to do and what things you are willing to try with a person once you get into a relationship. This feels safer than experimenting with it knowing it will inevitably get to stuff that feels awful. When you feel safe, you are able to be more relaxed when the touching starts. For me, this made a difference. (Then again, I'm touch-averse and can feel discomfort up to pain and nausea when touched, so maybe that's why it did.)

Sure, people might dump you after that conversation, but those people will probably dump you when you say "hell no" anyway, so it's not like you have a lot to lose.