Do You Think It Is Ok to Tell People a More Acceptable Lie Instead of Telling Them You're Ace?

[Guest]

That right there is exactly what I meant. Just saying things like that to get out of them arguing with you on it. But what if they are some friend of a friend who finds you attractive and they might want to date you in the future? What if they constantly ask you in the future if you are ready to date yet? Just keep saying "no."?

What if they skim around that and ask "What about friends with benefits?" What might you tell them then? That you are not sexually interested in them and let them take it personally?

These lines are so blurred in every situation.

If someone were being pushy like that, I would tell them clearly "I'm not into you that way, sorry" and if they couldn't take a no, well... then that's obviously THEIR problem, cause no means no. And rejection is just part of life.

If you're intending to ever date someone, they need to know about your sexuality. Other people, it's only their business if you want it to be. You can just say "I'm sorry, but that's a personal question" if it's a co-worker or someone you don't know very well. You might get a little flak for being "prudish" but meh. You can hopefully explain to your friends that you aren't interested in that sort of thing so they should stop bugging you about it. Why you aren't interested, or that you're never going to be interested, isn't needed unless you want to tell them. And family, well, I would just tell them to butt out.

A little white lie, if it's to someone who has no right asking and won't leave you alone, is not "wrong" imo. Generally honesty is best, but when you need to protect yourself, defensive measures can be taken.

[Guest]

Now that I realize that I've been closeted for a couple of years, I'm so done with that. I'm just going to try again and again; tell them they should research it for themselves or just give up. I won't make excuses for this part of who I am anymore.

This may just be a temporary sentiment though. >.<

I think it's okay to tell a lie about this if you've tried explaining, as long as it doesn't feel off to you.

Lying is an ethical issue and there's always going to be discussion about it, just follow your own moral compass.

I feel like my religion teacher.

[The A+ Student]

No lying, but saying you're not interested in a romantic relationship and/or sex should be enough. If this hypothetical person is rude and persists, then the blank and unamused stare may work. Or change the subject.

I truly don't understand why some people seem to be unable to comprehend that someone might not be interested in sex/dating. Like, it's a simple concept.

I hate lying, so I avoid it if at all possible (even "white" lies). I much prefer the vague/omitting information method. Or simply outright refusing to answer.

[Thranduil]

Before I agreed to go out with my ex, I explained to them upfront that I was ace, since they'd never encountered a person who was open about it before, and told them I was not that interested in sex but liked them enough to try and be with them. I even gave them links to articles, but they still didn't understand. They also had cognitive issues like bad memory retention, so I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt at first.

They kept treating me like one of their exes in previous bad relationships (some of whom just used them for intimacy, which they accused me of doing, which was quite laughable) and ultimately I had enough of their abuse and broke up with them after a four-month relationship. In hindsight, I suppose I shouldn't have gone along with dating them in the first place, but I didn't realize how narcissistic they were till a few weeks in... which is what I was trying to avoid, and testing them out to see if they'd really be suitable for me, so they ended up failing.

If in future, I'm propositioned again, I'll just tell someone that I'm not looking for a relationship since I've recently gotten out of a bad one. That's reason enough to get people to leave me alone, if the topic ever comes up. It also depends on how well I know the person and if I trust them enough to reveal certain personal information.

[Somewhere]

People asking me out is always awkward. Either I have to lie or I have to tell the truth. "I'm not interested in a relationship," leads to "Why not?" and "Give it a try." While "I'm asexual" leads to "How does that even work?" and "Do you masturbate?" (I've been asked that so many times I want to scream.) I used to prefer the truth so I had the chance to educate people and spread awareness. Now I'm tired of explaining stuff that should be easy to understand. I find the "I'm already in a relationship" lie to be useful if it's not someone you know very well (co-worker). If it's a friend and they don't except "I'm not interested" the first time, than tell them to stop asking. Most real friends will respect your wishes rather than alienate you. If they don't then they obviously don't care that much about your feelings.

[Thranduil]

I don't think the awkwardness will ever really go away, but in the meantime everyone's going to have to do whatever they think is best. If they're comfortable telling a white lie, then fine, especially where their safety is concerned.

[marauders]

I honestly do not usually disclose such personal information voluntarily; I really value my privacy, and don't particularly consider it anyone else's business. The exception to this would be when I am dating, because then I will be upfront with them from the very beginning. Otherwise, with friends and family, if someone were to ask me point-blank, then I would explain it to them. Otherwise, I am not going to bring it up.

[Thranduil]

Yeah, that's true. I don't normally tell people unless it's relevant, somehow. Depending on how close they are to me.