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Archive of Asexual Comebacks


ItWasNiceKnowingYou

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ItWasNiceKnowingYou

I started this thread based on the experience I'd recently had.

This person asked me "How do you know you don't like sex if you've never done it?!?!!? Sex has better benefits!" And I instantly reply "I don't know. Hey why don't you go jump off a bridge 'cause I heard the air quality is soooo much better than air conditioning!!!!" (O.O)...they say nothing.

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SorryNotSorry

In another thread a couple of months ago, I posted "asexuals don't give a fuck".

If I remember right, it got 30 likes within a week.

For asexuals, DILLIGAF (=do I look like I give a fuck?) takes on a more literal meaning.

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verily-forsooth-egads

Best one I ever saw (I wish I could remember who posted it) went something like

"How do you know you don't like sex if you've never tried it?"

"How do you know you wouldn't like stuffing ten dirty socks in your mouth?"

"Ew! Of course I wouldn't like that!"

"Oh, don't worry, it's just a phase."

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Chibihuahua Chan

I was asked "don't you have any URGES?" my reply was "to stab people? Yes, but I never act on them."

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SorryNotSorry

I'm like, ehhh... most people who crave sex are just after the endorphin hit, unless they're trying to make a baby.

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"But relationships without sex are just friendships!"

"So you wouldn't mind my relationship with your datefriend as long as it doesn't involve sex? How nice of you!"

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ElectricMongoose

In another thread a couple of months ago, I posted "asexuals don't give a fuck".

If I remember right, it got 30 likes within a week.

For asexuals, DILLIGAF (=do I look like I give a fuck?) takes on a more literal meaning.

We don't give any F***s we only give Cakes. :cake:

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I just tell them: Look, you keep your sex talk to yourself and ill keep myself safe and sane from sex-craving wannabees like you, OK?

It usually works for me

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  • 3 weeks later...
ItWasNiceKnowingYou

"Why don't you like shopping & makeup & other stuff like that?"

" Do I look like a cis-sy to you?!"

Didn't realize the pun until later though;p

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"If you don't want sex, then you should probably get your hormones checked, because that is not normal."

"If you really care that much then you can drive me. And while we are at it, you might want to get an MRI to check your brain because I think it is underdeveloped."

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'You're telling me you don't like sex and don't want it, but I'm sure if you did actually have it you'd start to like it.'

'That's interesting, can I ask your thoughts on corrective rape?'

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Simon Calvet

'You're telling me you don't like sex and don't want it, but I'm sure if you did actually have it you'd start to like it.'

'That's interesting, can I ask your thoughts on corrective rape?'

That's fantastic! I really have to find a way to make it work in French too, it would be soooo worth it.

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

That's fantastic! I really have to find a way to make it work in French too, it would be soooo worth it.

On est d'accord! Alors vous en pensez quoi du viol correctif?

Or would 'D'ailleurs, vous en pensez quoi du viol correctif?' work better?

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WhatsSheCalled

"You can't be asexual unless you reproduce by yourself"

"Your nose can't be running, it doesn't have feet. Words have different meanings, you realise?"

(or say something about the different meanings of the words gay and straight)

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"You can't be asexual unless you reproduce by yourself"

"Your nose can't be running, it doesn't have feet. Words have different meanings, you realise?"

(or say something about the different meanings of the words gay and straight)

I generally like to correct their grammar by stating that asexual means non sexual, so asexual reproduction means non sexual reproduction. Seeing as asexual means not sexual, if a person is asexual, it means that he/she is not sexual.

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Best one I ever saw (I wish I could remember who posted it) went something like

"How do you know you don't like sex if you've never tried it?"

"How do you know you wouldn't like stuffing ten dirty socks in your mouth?"

"Ew! Of course I wouldn't like that!"

"Oh, don't worry, it's just a phase."

I think I'm just going to take that and stash it away for a rainy day.

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