Gross Dreams & Some Other Personal Rants

[Anonamousey98]

So by the title, you already know what this is going to be about. I just feel gross and want to try to get out my feelings somehow. Every once in a while, I'll have a dream about sex that will just make me wake up and feel disturbed. But now it's starting to be more frequent. I'll have dreams about people I'm related to doing sexual acts with me or in front of me. I hate it, and I wish I'd just have scary dreams instead. At least those I can talk about. These I'm too embarrassed to talk about, like it's my fault or something. Even though I know it's not. I'll try to make myself forget it but it's really hard sometimes. Just something I'll have to deal with I guess. Hopefully it'll go away one day.

~

Something else I wanted to complain about. My mind is very sexual for some reason. Every time I hear my mom move around in her bed or on the couch I think she's doing something gross for some reason. So I always try to listen to loud music so I can't hear it. Or if she's laughing with my dad, I always think they're having sex and I don't know why. It's so frustrating because, I want to explain it to her but she'll probably think I'm being stupid. Or she'll say 'oh well, get over it.' Then when she doesn't help, she'll still know so I will feel embarrassed and stupid for telling her. I'm thinking maybe I should see a therapist but I'm very shy and can't open up to people without knowing them for a while. I would tell my aunt, since she's been like a therapist to me since I was young, but she's very proper. I guess that'd be the word to describe her. She never talks about anything gross, she nice and likes to talk about feelings. :P But I feel like she might not know how to help me with these feelings. Every time I see a therapist, I never stay with them long enough for them to actually make a difference. I've been thinking that maybe I should stick it out the first couple weeks of awkwardness and just be completely open with him/her about how I'm feeling, so that he/she can help me with this issue. But it's hard being completely open about those things with a stranger because, I'm afraid they're going to judge me so hard. Hopefully I'll find someone to talk to that can help me find out why I'm having these issues.

Like I said, I just wanted to get my feelings out somehow sooo..there they are

[Tessc]

I think trying to stick with a therapist as long as possible sounds like a very good idea for you. If it's only awkwardness that stops you from going, then it'll probably get better as you get more comfortable with them.

As for the dreams, it's probably just hormones. Your body may need an outlet and you have no control over your dreams, so that's where it's coming out. I'm pretty sure I remember going through a phase when I was a teenager when I thought everyone was thinking about sex every second of the day and that everyone's motivations were simply so they could have sex. I may have been partially right, but it's nowhere as extreme as I was thinking it was.