Did he lead me on or am I overreacting?

[imasexyandiknowit]

[deleted]

[Star Bit]

The close hug and "you're beautiful" talk, along with the repetitive drive, seem blatently romantic implying. Though i wasn't there so i can't tell for sure. How the hell could he "not stop himself from going along with it"?? That makes no sense to me.

[manny-senpai]

Personally from reading this I don't really trust this guy when it comes to romantic relationships. I mean first he is saying he is into this girl then a small amount of time passes and immediately he is over her and into you. Then another small amount of time passes and he isn't interested in you anymore? C'mon guy think before you freaking act. I personally think he was leading you on. I agree with Star bit about the "not stop himself from going along with it" thing being complete B.S. Then to make it a bit worse he clearly doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut. I think people that spill their life events and worries to a group of people just like that are not people I would trust.

Wow this sounds like I am very angry right now.

[Scottthespy]

It seems like a 'pressure 'made' me do it' situation...there are a lot of times when what people think they're supposed to do overrides good sense, and they'll do stuff they don't want to just so they don't dissapoint some one they like, just not in that way, without realizing that that's making things worse. I'd say yes, he did lead you on, a little. Possibly he did it on purpose then realized he didn't want that kind of relationship with you after all, after his own mental reaction to the cuddling, or perhaps he did it because he though that's what you were expecting of him, and he didn't want to dissapoint, but then he wasn't happy he'd done it. Either way, I'd say it wasn't malicious. You have a right to be confused and maybe a little hurt, but you should defiantly ask him if the two of you can talk long and hard about what both of you are looking for in a relationship, how you both feel about each other, and what sort of relationship is best for both of you. It doesn't need to be a relationship as defined by society's rules. My best friend, my soul mate, the one who makes this aromantic, introverted ace get out of the house and go to parties and shopping and bars, is my mother. We cuddle, we finish each other's sentences, we have a bond that few people can understand and many people think is just plain wrong, because it doesn't fit their preconceived categories. We don't care. You and this friend may be able to make your own category, where you cuddle a bit, but aren't officially 'dating', but both are ok with it. Its worth the talk, anyway, for two people who seem like such good friends.

[imasexyandiknowit]

It seems like a 'pressure 'made' me do it' situation...there are a lot of times when what people think they're supposed to do overrides good sense, and they'll do stuff they don't want to just so they don't dissapoint some one they like, just not in that way, without realizing that that's making things worse. I'd say yes, he did lead you on, a little. Possibly he did it on purpose then realized he didn't want that kind of relationship with you after all, after his own mental reaction to the cuddling, or perhaps he did it because he though that's what you were expecting of him, and he didn't want to dissapoint, but then he wasn't happy he'd done it. Either way, I'd say it wasn't malicious. You have a right to be confused and maybe a little hurt, but you should defiantly ask him if the two of you can talk long and hard about what both of you are looking for in a relationship, how you both feel about each other, and what sort of relationship is best for both of you. It doesn't need to be a relationship as defined by society's rules. My best friend, my soul mate, the one who makes this aromantic, introverted ace get out of the house and go to parties and shopping and bars, is my mother. We cuddle, we finish each other's sentences, we have a bond that few people can understand and many people think is just plain wrong, because it doesn't fit their preconceived categories. We don't care. You and this friend may be able to make your own category, where you cuddle a bit, but aren't officially 'dating', but both are ok with it. Its worth the talk, anyway, for two people who seem like such good friends.

That sounds nice and all but I don't want that. We just met, I don't care if we're friends or not it's not like a long friendship, and I don't want the halfway thing. We can be friends though it's fine.

The mom thing sounds cute though!

[imasexyandiknowit]

Personally from reading this I don't really trust this guy when it comes to romantic relationships. I mean first he is saying he is into this girl then a small amount of time passes and immediately he is over her and into you. Then another small amount of time passes and he isn't interested in you anymore? C'mon guy think before you freaking act. I personally think he was leading you on. I agree with Star bit about the "not stop himself from going along with it" thing being complete B.S. Then to make it a bit worse he clearly doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut. I think people that spill their life events and worries to a group of people just like that are not people I would trust.

Wow this sounds like I am very angry right now.

He was into her from forever ago, and just started talking about it to me when he met me. So it's not that sketch. And ya I don't appreciate him blurting it out in front of a group. he has issues with social situations and doesn''t know how to act, so I guess he doesn't mean anything bad by it he's just lost

[Frigid Pink]

I highly recommend this article:

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/be-careful-of-worrying-too-much-about-overreacting/

[Absol]

In my opinion, he seemed to have been leading you on. If he was just "going along with it" like he claimed, he wouldn't have initiated all of those situations like he did. Maybe he felt pressure to initiate things because of social expectations (how people expect guys to initiate romance) but I would think that he wouldn't feel obligated to do so unless you were giving him signals. I don't know the whole situation, so I can't say for sure, but it seems a bit fishy to me.

[imasexyandiknowit]

In my opinion, he seemed to have been leading you on. If he was just "going along with it" like he claimed, he wouldn't have initiated all of those situations like he did. Maybe he felt pressure to initiate things because of social expectations (how people expect guys to initiate romance) but I would think that he wouldn't feel obligated to do so unless you were giving him signals. I don't know the whole situation, so I can't say for sure, but it seems a bit fishy to me.

I mean it was clear I liked him and i would initiate stuff too here and there if that's what you mean by signals.

but yeah agreed. thanks

[Star Bit]

If this happens to him all the time, maybe he's Lithromantic aka Aporomantic; romantic reciprocation immediately or over time causing indifference, loss of interest, or repulsion; essentially a negative to neutral reaction. Maybe "he couldn't stop himself" because he was still trying to feel it but it was already gone.

[JohnCarizma]

if i were you i wouldn't trust this gay sometimes thinks must be secretive ask him to be honest with you if it's really with you or the other girl

if i were you i wouldn't trust this gay sometimes thinks must be secretive ask him to be honest with you if it's really with you or the other girl don't let him manipulate you, good luck

[Guest]

Shit man, I'm sorry. I'd be devastated. IMO the only thing he did really wrong was talk to your group of friends instead of you. What you don't need when dealing with rejection is the added injury to self esteem that he inflicted.