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Odd question


tanatee

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Okay, this may seem like an odd question, but, as asexuals, have any of you been proposed to be apart of another couple's relationship? I mean either sexually or romantically.

This has happened to me on four separate occations where three out of four of said couples knew of my orientation. There requests ranged from purly sexaul, mostly romantic/sexual if I wanted to try, to purly romantic.

I thought these might have been isolated incidents due to the type of peple I surround myself with, but I have recently been in contact with other asexuals who have had similar experiences.

Has this happened to you? And why do you think this keeps happening?

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ElectricMongoose

Funny you should say that XP Yes it has happened once. And once was enough for me to give up on asking entirely. I asked my childhood friend (known him since 3rd grade) to our Senior Prom, only to get declines. Turns out he had a whole line up of people who asked him out even though he and I has the longest history together. I don't do ask outs anymore because not only does it remind me of the pain of possibly and likely being rejected, but I doubt anyone who would want to go out with me would be happy to know I'm not interested in them for physical attractiveness. xP I'd only disappoint anyone who I'd like to be around. (romantically)

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First time I'm hearing of such a thing toward Aces.

Though I've been on here over a year and almost every day at some point.

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Notte stellata

Are those couples poly? Many poly couples want to find a "third," or a "hot bi babe," to "join their relationship." It's odd that they asked you while knowing you're asexual though. Maybe they thought jealousy would be less of an issue with an asexual, or maybe they focused more on the romantic side of things. Just my guess.

Anyway, this has never happened to me. I've never met any poly couples in real life.

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Frigid Pink

I've had this happen once (with a "poly" couple who knew my sexual orientation), however, I'm not polyamorous or polygamous, therefore, I politely declined the offer.

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Baskervillain

yes I was actually a very active member in a swinger community for a while even helping establish a tradition of "Tupperware" parties

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A friend when I was in university offered the with benefits bit while she was in an open relationship with her (now) wife. I declined, and things went back to normal after that.

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I identifyi as ace and I am actually currently in a triad relationship. It didnt start out as a polyamorous relationship though. I've known these two people for atleast 5 years and they are engaged to eachother. I had never shared my sexual orientation, but most people at my college assumed I was gay. I was approached at first ( 2 years ago) to just date one of them and at the time I declined because of my aceness. About 4 months ago I decided to give it a go, and thats when we decided to make it into a triad. It's been mostly a long distance relationship since they moved to another state. But I was able to visit them a week ago for a week and I think it went really well. I think it helps that I dont have to do any sexual things that I dont want to do. Actually with all of our likes and dislikes and what we're willing to do we go together pretty perfectly. I think it helps a lot that we were friends for a long time before any orientations were discussed, but I don't think I would be able to do this with any other couple.

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Autumn Season

Shortly after joining okcupid as an asexual, a polyamorous guy asked me on a date. He didn't ask though UNTIL he (thought he) understood what asexuality means. Only then did he get really excited and tried to convince me to go out with him.

(Obviously I wouldn't have been his only partner, had I accepted.)

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