Colorful6String Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 *feels very awkward discussing this but wants to know if it's normal or not or an explanation of some sort* This is way TMI so if it bugs you I'd stop reading now ._. So only today did I read and understand the term "arousal" (I read that article on "an asexual's guide to... arousal) and only now realized what it is. (As I understand it, it's when you're thinking of or hear something or react to something somehow sexual and then "down there" starts to act up and get warm and sensitive and what not, is this correct?) ._. so that's what it is.... oh... I thought something went on in your head too, like a desire for sex. But now I'm confused- I get like that a lot honestly, especially since I've been on here, reading some of the threads about masturbation (ok even writing that word down.... gahhhhh) But I don't want sex at all when I feel it and didn't even know it was sexual until I read that. Nothing "sexual" goes on in my head ever (No desire for sex, no fantasies, no need/desire to masturbate, no sexual attraction etc.) This is only when it comes to thinking about the term/fact of masturbating though not when I hear people talking about sex or anything like that. (I have never actually masturbated either- only heard about it, I don't have a desire to do that either) So why is it that when I think of the word "masturbate" even though I have NO intention or desire to do it I get like this? I'm starting to wish I hadn't known the definition- as now I'm noticing when it happens and I'm like "Ok body... you can stop now... you're bugging me" And why the heck is it just when I think about masturbation?! I feel nothing when people talk about partnered sex or stuff like that Summary: I experience arousal when I hear or think about the word "masturbate" (not think about doing it- just thinking about what it is) but don't have any desire for sex. I don't understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Sometimes thinking about sex or sexual acts can cause arousal. This doesn't equate to attraction. Our brains are just wired to get aroused at times, whether we feel attraction or the desire for partnered sex or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Colorful6String Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 I guess so ._. but I've never realized that's what was happening and now I just wish it'd stop... EDIT: Also what's kinda alarming to me is how easilly it happens... just writing the word down? or reading the definition, or seeing the word? like what the heck- but I can look at a very sexual commercial and be like "lol wat? they look like people. Am I supposed to feel something?" ._. *throws hands in air* I learned too much my head hurts Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I think I feel that too. I'm not sure if it's considered masturbating. (I'm very clueless about sexual things.) Sometimes I'm curious and start reading about sexual things and how people do them. Sexual things make me feel something, and the fact that I'm a conceptual learner makes it worse since I can over-imagine it. I've started wondering about this stuff. I've been thinking it's my anxiety acting up but not sure. And also I have an industrial sized bladder, as my mom calls it. The only time my bladder gets incredibly weak is when I see or hear sexual things (and jumping too high on trampolines, that's when I totally die). I've started noticing that my underwear is a little wet when I use the bathroom after "gaining knowledge". Link to post Share on other sites
Absol Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Well it's not unusual, even as an asexual to feel this. Some do, and some don't, and I don't think there's much you can do to make it stop, unfortunately. :( But it's not necessarily related to sexual attraction (I mean, it can be, but it doesn't have to), and it doesn't always come with a desire for sex or masturbation (I feel the same way you do about writing that word so awkward). But yeah, don't feel any less asexual because of this experience, it's not exclusive to allosexuals. And different people can be aroused by different things, so I'm sure your experience isn't that unusual. Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Yeah, my sexual friend just assumes my body has absolutely nothing sexual about it I think. She doesn't mind sending me odd pictures because it is assumed I won't feel anything about it. Show me boobs, nothing. Show me someone's butt being claimed and things happening as a result, yep. Once she sent me a "submissive" pic and I guess she didn't get it when I said something along the lines of "this actually made me feel something". Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Eh, if you are aroused to act of masturbation it means you could be an autosexual . How about me. I'm just aroused looking at picture of people I'm attracted to. I use to imagine sex with them. It sounds so strange because they were intellectualists and I imagine this instead intellectual talks first. Maybe I've never had sex and try to imagine how would it look like or just find them both intellectually and physically attractive. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 This type of arousal is why it took me so long to realize I was asexual. When I finally realized I'd never follow through on it with another person, then it all started making sense. Most the time however, I don't experience this to any serious degree unless I'm trying. It's like a knee jerk reaction, there then gone unless for some silly reason I decide to keep my leg sticked out. So, it seems normal enough to me. Hint: Don't try repressing thoughts. Just go do something distracting when this happens, but never tell yourself not to think about something. That keeps your brain constantly on the lookout for said something. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Actually the word arouse just means evoke or awaken a feeling, emotion, or response. It's just commonly used sexually; as is the word fetish (which essentially just means a fixation). Sexual arousal is not exclusively due to a bodily reaction to erotica; it can also be due to hormone fluctuations. Sexual attraction is the one that has both sexual arousal and sexual desire. What triggers arousal can be different for different ppl. A desire for sexual pleasure and a desire to do sexual things to someone else are two different things. Some Asexuals masturbate and some don't. Sexual means sex-like, and yes masturbation is sex-like, but masturbation does not mean a desire for sex. The body can react to the suggestion of sexual pleasure; having an implication of G-spots being hit makes your G-spots want to be hit, or at least turns them on (while you desire to not act on them). Looking at "sexy" ppl wouldn't inhibit a sexual response because you don't find them sexually attractive (unless you had a sexual fetish present in it). @nerdperson777 Purposely looking things up that arouse you but not stimulating yourself is not masturbating. (i.e. to the point or intent of orgasm) In your spoiler area, if you're talking about what i think you're talking about, what's in your underwear after getting aroused is not urine, most likely, it's vaginal discharge; to lubricate the vagina so sex hes less friction and so the sperm have something to climb on to get to the egg. Eh, if you are aroused to act of masturbation it means you could be an autosexual . How about me. I'm just aroused looking at picture of people I'm attracted to. I use to imagine sex with them. It sounds so strange because they were intellectualists and I imagine this instead intellectual talks first. Maybe I've never had sex and try to imagine how would it look like or just find them both intellectually and physically attractive. :) I've seen autosexual defined two ways; sexually attracted to yourself and one who prefers to masturbate than have sex. Auto is Latin for self, so i can understand the dual meaning; sexually attracted to yourself or "self-sexual". But Asexuals can masturbate so i disagree with the second. The second type should just go by Libidoist Asexual. Not to mention they don't masturbate (non-libidoist), so they still wouldn't identify with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Francoise Wang Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 *feels very awkward discussing this but wants to know if it's normal or not or an explanation of some sort* This is way TMI so if it bugs you I'd stop reading now ._. So only today did I read and understand the term "arousal" (I read that article on "an asexual's guide to... arousal) and only now realized what it is. (As I understand it, it's when you're thinking of or hear something or react to something somehow sexual and then "down there" starts to act up and get warm and sensitive and what not, is this correct?) ._. so that's what it is.... oh... I thought something went on in your head too, like a desire for sex. But now I'm confused- I get like that a lot honestly, especially since I've been on here, reading some of the threads about masturbation (ok even writing that word down.... gahhhhh) But I don't want sex at all when I feel it and didn't even know it was sexual until I read that. Nothing "sexual" goes on in my head ever (No desire for sex, no fantasies, no need/desire to masturbate, no sexual attraction etc.) This is only when it comes to thinking about the term/fact of masturbating though not when I hear people talking about sex or anything like that. (I have never actually masturbated either- only heard about it, I don't have a desire to do that either) So why is it that when I think of the word "masturbate" even though I have NO intention or desire to do it I get like this? I'm starting to wish I hadn't known the definition- as now I'm noticing when it happens and I'm like "Ok body... you can stop now... you're bugging me" And why the heck is it just when I think about masturbation?! I feel nothing when people talk about partnered sex or stuff like that Summary: I experience arousal when I hear or think about the word "masturbate" (not think about doing it- just thinking about what it is) but don't have any desire for sex. I don't understand. (TMI warning) I feel the same way as you. I get some degree of arousal when I read or think about heterosexual sex (but it doesn't happen when I think about homosexual sex, using sex toys, or masturbating. I don't know why.) I know it is sex-related when it happens, because it the physical reaction is on my genital (feels like a twitch on my clitoris). But I don't think it's "sexual" because I don't feel any desire to masturbate (I do masturbate regularly) or to have sex with anyone in real life when it happens, and also I don't feel mentally excited while thinking about heterosexual sex. I also feel that my body is bugging me when it happens, and wish my body stop it. I still identify as asexual, because although I have had heterosexual sex, I have never enjoyed it or been interested in it. Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 @nerdperson777 Purposely looking things up that arouse you but not stimulating yourself is not masturbating. (i.e. to the point or intent of orgasm) In your spoiler area, if you're talking about what i think you're talking about, what's in your underwear after getting aroused is not urine, most likely, it's vaginal discharge; to lubricate the vagina so sex hes less friction and so the sperm have something to climb on to get to the egg. Bleh, hate sexual bodies. :( I wish my awesome bladder had absolutely no weaknesses. Once I went on a 16 hour flight and I managed to make it through the entire trip without using the airplane bathrooms. On the way back, the person next to me was watching something awkwardly sexual. I can't sleep with that thought on my mind so I ended up partly watching it. Some 4 hours in the flight, I gave up and used the bathroom. And I still remember what the people were doing too.. Link to post Share on other sites
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