rach123 Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Hi. I'm having a hard time figuring out if I'm asexual or not. I'm not really interested in getting into relationships at all. Everyone around me always talk about how they want to get into relationships and I'm just different when it comes to that. I don't really think about sex. I can't see myself doing that with somebody... I rarely have crushes and when I do I don't really want to be in a relationship with the person. Is that strange? I'm really confused.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Do you not want to be in a relationship (despite the crushes) because of expected sex or the relationship aspect? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rach123 Posted April 23, 2015 Author Share Posted April 23, 2015 Thanks for the reply. The expected sex is definitely a reason but with respect to the relationship aspect...it changes. Sometimes I might be a bit interested but sometimes not at all Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BusTotem Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 aromantic is a thing too. You sound like you might be somewhere in the neighborhood of aromantic ace, but I don't know how i'd characterize the romantic fluidity. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
verily-forsooth-egads Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Sounds like you're definitely on the spectrum somewhere, from what you said. About those crushes—we have lots of words for things that feel like romantic attraction but might not behave the way alloromantics expect. First of all, there's a squish, which is like a crush but without the romance, an urge to be someone's friend. If it's really romantic attraction but you think you'd be indifferent or turned off if they reciprocated, that's lithromanticism. I suggest you do some reading on the wiki. If it can be felt, there's a word for it, guaranteed. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 but I don't know how i'd characterize the romantic fluidity.Gray-romantic; anything between having romantic attraction and not; having characteristics of both simultaneously or at different times. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 The desire for sex, and the desire for romantic relationships are separate things. A lot of people mean, or assume a sexual-romantic relationship when "relationships" are mentioned. Is it the expectations of sex that make you not want romantic relationships, or do you feel that you have little desire for romantic relationships, whether sexual or not?Gray-romantic was mentioned as a possible label. Here are a few recent threads about it:http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/116135-okay-now-im-confused-grey-aromanticwtfromantic/http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/116885-which-of-these-is-grayromantic/Do you feel repulsion towards romance, or the idea of being in a romantic relationship, whether you experience romantic attraction or not? If so, romance-repulsed is another possibility. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ElectricMongoose Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 First of all Welcome to AVEN I hope you enjoy it here! I know it can be confusing at first, but give it time. You'll find out eventually. :) I was wondering and wondering for the longest time before I finally decided I was asexual. By the way you describe it, you sound Aromantic, (little to no romantic attraction like hugging, kissing, cuddling) Nobody can tell you if you're asexual or anything, you have to find out for yourself. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rach123 Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 The desire for sex, and the desire for romantic relationships are separate things. A lot of people mean, or assume a sexual-romantic relationship when "relationships" are mentioned. Is it the expectations of sex that make you not want romantic relationships, or do you feel that you have little desire for romantic relationships, whether sexual or not? Thanks for replying. It's both the expectations of sex and the fact that I have little desire for romantic relationships. I may be gray-romantic..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rach123 Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 First of all Welcome to AVEN I hope you enjoy it here! I know it can be confusing at first, but give it time. You'll find out eventually. :) I was wondering and wondering for the longest time before I finally decided I was asexual. By the way you describe it, you sound Aromantic, (little to no romantic attraction like hugging, kissing, cuddling) Nobody can tell you if you're asexual or anything, you have to find out for yourself. :) Thank you I'll figure it out soon. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 By the way you describe it, you sound Aromantic, (little to no romantic attraction like hugging, kissing, cuddling) Romantic attraction isn't the same thing as sensual attraction. It's possible to feel romantic attraction void of sensual desires, as well can sensual attraction be felt platonically, so feeling sensual attraction does not mean it's romantic and isn't really an example of what romantic attraction is. How is hugging romantic? According to AVEN "Romantic attraction is a very difficult thing to pin down. Put as simply as possible, it is a distinct fondness or affection toward someone that differs from what you would feel toward friends, family, or people you admire. It may be characterized by a unique, almost surreal anxious-euphoria when sensing or thinking about this person and is distinguishable from hero worship. It typically involves butterflies in the stomach, heart fluttering or “melting” when interacting with them, some obsessiveness, all over warm and fuzzy feeling, and being swept into a dreamy state of mind, but experiences may vary depending on the individual and intensity of the case. Desires such as wanting to bond or be physically close with them are extremely common when experiencing romantic attraction, but there is no desire exclusive to romantic attraction, nor are desires necessarily present at all when being romantically attracted to someone." So essentially romantic attraction differs from platonic feeling strictly by emotions, and emotions don't translate well into words so it's left up to interpretation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rach123 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 By the way you describe it, you sound Aromantic, (little to no romantic attraction like hugging, kissing, cuddling)Romantic attraction isn't the same thing as sensual attraction. It's possible to feel romantic attraction void of sensual desires, as well can sensual attraction be felt platonically, so feeling sensual attraction does not mean it's romantic and isn't really an example of what romantic attraction is. How is hugging romantic? According to AVEN "Romantic attraction is a very difficult thing to pin down. Put as simply as possible, it is a distinct fondness or affection toward someone that differs from what you would feel toward friends, family, or people you admire. It may be characterized by a unique, almost surreal anxious-euphoria when sensing or thinking about this person and is distinguishable from hero worship. It typically involves butterflies in the stomach, heart fluttering or “melting” when interacting with them, some obsessiveness, all over warm and fuzzy feeling, and being swept into a dreamy state of mind, but experiences may vary depending on the individual and intensity of the case. Desires such as wanting to bond or be physically close with them are extremely common when experiencing romantic attraction, but there is no desire exclusive to romantic attraction, nor are desires necessarily present at all when being romantically attracted to someone.[/size]" So essentially romantic attraction differs from platonic feeling strictly by emotions, and emotions don't translate well into words so it's left up to interpretation. It's very hard to differentiate between platonic and romantic feelings.i currently have a "crush" The person likes me or so it seems but I have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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