DarkShadow Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Just went to a beer with 2 of my "normal " friends . One of them knows i`m not into sex/dating and stuff like that ( altough doesn`t know i`m asexual ) , and the other one is only interested in girls, parties, and sex. When asked " what have you been up to lately ? " , i answered that i have been reading some good books, watching some nice movies, practicing on my guitar , and still searching for a tennis partner . The second guy said : " those are a lot of hobbies ! i want to do some sports like football, boxing or something too ... " I asked him : So why don`t you ? And he didn`t gave me a real reason just stated that "something else " keeps interfering . " Something else " meaning sex and clubbing . I know he could afford having not one but even several hobbies, because he earns a lot and isn`t working many hours, so he has free time, but still refuses to do something that he claims to enjoy . Don`t get me wrong, i`m not telling people how to live their lives or what to do, it`s just that i`m not doing those hobbies just for the sake of it so i could brag about them , i`m doing them because i enjoy them . Do sexual people really enjoy much more sex and relationships than hobbies, comapred to aces and aros ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ObsessedWithCats Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 There are lots of ways to spend your time :3 It's hard to say which bits of it you would spend differently if your orientations were different. I get up quite early in the morning by a lot of people's standards and sometimes go running (but more often waste time on the internet XD) but I don't have the mental energy for anything much constructive in the evenings where as my friends, regardless of relationship status, might find something to do with their evenings. There's also the issue of non-romantic and non-sexual relationships - I'm fairly strongly introverted so I spend a lot of time on solo hobbies that might seem more productive than going out with my friends or whatever, but really just serve a different purpose. And I probably spend as much time on AVEN some days as some others do with their SOs ;) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Archon Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 The fact that this guy doesn't have many hobbies outside of sex and clubbing might have more to do with him spending time at parties than about whether he has sex or not. There might be aces and aros who enjoy parties, and they would probably not have a lot of free time for other things either. Clubbing isn't just about sex, there's dancing and socializing involved that people who are extraverted really enjoy. Plus, there are sexual people who don't spend time at parties, especially sexuals who are introverted, and they probably have more free time for hobbies than an ace/aro person who goes to parties a lot. I guess if someone wants sex a lot then that would probably take up time, and spending time with partners can take time away from hobbies. Romantic partners can also do hobbies together though, and it's possible that some people would consider sex a hobby. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RedOwl Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I don't think it has anything to do with being or not asexual. I think it has more to do with the person, some people are more active than others, more artistic or physical. Others are content with having one or two hobbies... And others are just lazy. I don't think I have many hobbies, but then again I don't think about the things I do as "hobbies", just as "nice things I like to do". I'm too simple. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chatha Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 ace here... it seems that sexuals have more going on: date nights; kids's ball games; hanging with other couples, etc. And sexual couples do NOT like an asexual fifth wheel hanging around so I don't have a social life here in mudville... That gives me plenty of alone time, but that does not mean it is filled with interesting things to do... I work, read or watch a movie, practice piano, eat, sleep, repeat... Ooh, and on a really exciting day, I get to go to run errands and do housework... I think sexuals have more going on. Or that's my sad experience. As for hobbies, I don't seem to have much in that department either. If I lived in an urban setting, I think there'd be more to do. But, where I live, well, the cows next door aren't much for conversation. XD Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 No, it isn't true. We're all individuals, and our orientation is only one part of our selves. There have been many threads discussing whether asexuals accomplish more in life, and the consensus is that that is kind of an elitist attitude toward orientation. The "clubbing and sex" might have something to do with age, since I don't think many 40-somethings, sexual or asexual, are concentrated on clubbing/sex. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I don't think it has much to do with being asexual or aromantic. The amount of time someone is able to spend on their hobbies varies for each person. For your friend, dating and going clubbing might be what he considers fun, even if by your standards it is just wasted time. Your don't have to be doing a bunch of brag-worthy hobbies to be happy, and one way of living isn't inherently better than another. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chatha Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Sally, good point about age-related interests I'm middle-aged. I couldn't care less any more about "having fun." Way past socializing, watching or going to the game or theme parks or whatever, and no kids either. At this point my interests are in recuperating after work and trying to keep the laundry done. Counting down the next decade and a half until retirement. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ThaHoward Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 No. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Klear Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I think that depends on the individual too, everyone has different mentalities. But is also true that a grand part of the sexual are similar to your friend, at least where I live... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SMW22792 Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 In my particular case, I do have more hobbies then most people I know. I don't believe that asexuality, or any sexual orientation, dictates the amount of hobbies one person may have. I look at sex as a hobby. One that I'm definitely not interested in. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Not really. I am very busy. I have a full time job with a lot of responsibilities. I teach, I am the department chair, I advise, I conduct workshops, I present, I grade senior projects, I attend webinars... and that's just this week! I don't have many hobbies because I am always in a state of busy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dandelionfluff Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 I agree that this is a bit of an elitist attitude. Allosexual don't spend every waking hour of their free time pursuing dating and sex. Not all allosexuals are into the club scene. I would go as far as to say that the majority of them probably aren't even into it. That person the OP described is just one person that is into partying and clubbing. If he feels that takes priority over pursuing hobbies, then that's his prerogative. It has nothing to do with sexuality. One of my exes is sexual, but he hates the club and partying scene. He is an introvert who spends a lot of time on his hobbies, especially photography. I just really don't understand this attitude among asexuals that sexuals somehow occupy so much of their time dating and having or pursuing sex that they don't have time for anything else. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 If he says that sex and clubbing keep interfering with his hobbies, doesn't that mean he's doing those things more than he actually wants to?I have some hobbies I'm very involved in, or used to be, but I just don't have as nearly as much time and energy for them since I got a full-time job. My particular work schedule also makes it very difficult to have a social life. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ElectricMongoose Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 While everyone else is out partying and having sex, here I am just drawing cartoons. :P I have so many hobbies! I love Bird Watching and reading. Gosh how I love to learn things! I don't understand the appeal in sex, where there's just so much more things in life to do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Copper Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 My "hobbies" include reading, video games, and Netflix binge watching. So no. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tanzanite Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Honestly, the only reason I have so my hobbies and interests was due to boredom. I used to have so much time that I didn't know what to do with it. I think it just depends on the person and situation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
coyote55 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 We're all individuals, and our orientation is only one part of our selves. This seems the best answer to me. I wish I was as energetic as my married brother in law, who starts in high energy the minute he gets out of bed in the morning, continues that way all day in his teaching job, and into the evening until he simply falls asleep over grading papers. On the weekends, he's gardening with his wife or kayaking with her, AND caretaking his elderly parents. He puts about 3 days of living into every one of mine, I think. I enjoy lots of outdoor activities, wrenching on my cars and bicycles, and reading, but my time management has never been great. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I think that introverts might have more hobbies (as an introvert has more alone time than an extrovert), which on AVEN makes look like asexuals have more hobbies. So asexuality may look positively correlated with more hobbies at first, but if introversion is removed as a factor, I don't think that there is any correlation at all. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RHD95 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I would say we may have a little more free time (on average) from not pursuing sex, then it depens on how you invest it. It may apply to some but I wouldn't generalize, you can be asexual and have all this free time but at the same time be lazy, apathetic and lacking motivation, or be highly sexual and have varied and passionate hobbies/interests. To each his own I guess. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Not really... and it's not because of my sexuality/romantic orientation. I just don't really have much of a social life. :P And I'm an only child... so I pick up some hobbies to keep me busy, but I wouldn't say it's more than anyone else. I'm just artistic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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