sassypint Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 So, I'm pretty sure it's just aesthetic attraction, but I wanted to put this topic out to the masses for discussion. Does anyone else who identifies as asexual have a physical type when it come to other people? Like, a particular type of look a person may have, you know. For me, it's tall and lanky, dark hair and blue eyes. I like looking at people that look like that, want to be close to them. But I don't want to have sex with them or jam my tongue down their throat or anything...for some reason, to me, a person that looks like that seems more trustworthy. It's weird, I know, and I had to sit here and think about what exactly that feeling is whenever I see someone with those features, but that's what it is. I trust them more, for no other reason than what they look like. So what I'm wondering is, is that the difference between aesthetic attraction and "my type"? Is that how it is for sexuals? The only reason I think there is a difference between aesthetic attraction and "my type" is that I can look at a person and think "damn they're hot", but only with my type do I feel that extra bit, that trusting feeling. Often when I remark on the attractiveness of a person, and people call me out on it because I'm ace, I say it's like remarking on the difference between a well-bred Thoroughbred horse versus a backyard fugly horse. I think the Thoroughbred is "hot" but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with a horse haha. Honestly this "my type" thing has been the only thing keeping me from being confident when saying I'm asexual. So, for the tl;dnr folks, open for discussion, is there a difference between aesthetic attraction and "my type", and can you still be defined as ace if you have a type? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cimmerian Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I think "types" are just a sub-genre of aesthetic attraction because you're still aesthetically interested in the type but there's an additional interest that makes your type preferable over the general beauty you see. I've never been able to narrow down my type too specifically but I have a few. There's no reason we can't have types as aces too. ;) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Doremi(fa) Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I most definitely have a physical type: tall, blue eyes and distinguished looking. There are also some types of faces I am much more aesthetically attracted to. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AnActualAngel Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Well, for me the difference is that, I find aesthetically pleasing most of the ladies I meet and a lot of guys, but wouldn't really want to be friend/date them because of that. Like, I think muscular guys are aesthetically pleasing, but I don't really find any kind of connection with them, while nerdy guys who usually don't come across to me as pretty at first, tend to be my type and I crush (or squish) on them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RedOwl Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I do have a physical type, but it has more to do with the image they project. I like natural people, the ones that don't put much attention to the way they look but still manage to look good. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tessc Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Tall, dark hair, light eyes and a bit of a bad boy image and I melt. Dunno why, because bad boys tend to just annoy me in real life. You can definitely have a "type" and still be ace. Just because I like the way these guys look, doesn't mean I want them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mycroft is Yourcroft Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 You certainly can! These are just physical features that are more pleasing to you than others, doesn't mean there's necessarily sexual feelings attached to that gaze. The only people who are my 'type' are women, yet I've only ever been in relationships with guys Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CrochetFool Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Absolutely! I have an "appearance type" and a "personality type" when it comes to men, and I still don't want to have sex with any of them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blakrana Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 I can appreciate where you're coming from. Personally though it's less 'not knowing type' and more 'ashamed to admit it' as I struggle to not feel like a bit of a jerk for having a preference. No matter how much I can reason around why it is what it is, I still just...feel bad about it. I'm not sure whether it's just general poor esteem at work though. Admittedly I've been stewing over my 'type' for longer than with the asexual thing, though it was part of it when...much as I like the type it really is just an aesthetic and sensual appreciation than anything else. Apologies for going on. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sheka4 Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Amazing back muscles and tall enough to reach the topmost cabinet, because I definitely can't. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Holy Ghost Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 myself lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sassypint Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 Seems the consensus is yes, you can still be asexual and have a "type" haha. Thanks for the input guys! Cake for everyone! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Can we mandate that a new thread about this get made every month or so so that people continuously get reassured? I think it's necessary. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mangosteen Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 I would have no problem complimenting people on their appearance if I found that they were nice to look at or had striking features ... except that I can't always do it without giving them the wrong impression. So, generally when I'm with a friend or a family member, I can say, "Oh look at those eyes!", or "S/he has good bone structure", etc., but that doesn't mean that I want to have anything to do with those people. I'm just appreciative of the human form (as long as the human in question is wearing clothing), whether male or female. I tend to seek out beauty wherever I go, and when I see a beautiful face (as that's the only body part I care for), it's no different from a beautiful sculpture. Having said that, I do love sky-blue eyes, and I appreciate the unique beauty of albinos ... just as much as I adore Siberian Huskies and horses. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CNGB Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 You've already figured this out, but I'll say it for the heck of saying it: you're just talking about aesthetic attraction. Most people (but not everyone) experience aesthetic attraction, and of course there's nothing wrong with the ones that don't. :) I can find pretty much everyone aesthetically attractive, mostly because everyone has a certain something that makes them, them. My type might not be the cowboy look, but I can appreciate how someone looks if they go around with their ten gallon hats and boots and blue jeans and whatnot; my type might not be the punk look, but I can appreciate how someone looks if they go around with their ripped tights and green deathhawks (sp?) and tee-shirts with sarcastic slogans. That being said, I do still have a type; two, actually. I like a Victorian Goth look especially, and equally as much someone who wears color. Also, if you refrain from wearing your hats side-ways or backwards, that wins a lot of points. I can appreciate where you're coming from. Personally though it's less 'not knowing type' and more 'ashamed to admit it' as I struggle to not feel like a bit of a jerk for having a preference. No matter how much I can reason around why it is what it is, I still just...feel bad about it. I'm not sure whether it's just general poor esteem at work though. Admittedly I've been stewing over my 'type' for longer than with the asexual thing, though it was part of it when...much as I like the type it really is just an aesthetic and sensual appreciation than anything else. Apologies for going on. Here, I just wanted to say (to Blakrana) that I can definitely understand where you're coming from on this one. I used to feel like an absolute jerk for having a type. Whatever yours is, please remember that we can't help who we're attracted to, and so your having a type doesn't mean that you're a bad person. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blakrana Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Here, I just wanted to say (to Blakrana) that I can definitely understand where you're coming from on this one. I used to feel like an absolute jerk for having a type. Whatever yours is, please remember that we can't help who we're attracted to, and so your having a type doesn't mean that you're a bad person. Intellectually, I know it's not something necessarily bad just...harder to reconcile what we know with what we feel I guess? Either way...thanks. I'm working at it, slowly. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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