DandelionFairy Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Hi all, I am new here... I am not huge on the idea of labels... but I find other people can find them easier to understand, so I am trying to work out the label to use (for my girlfriends sake, and also to make it easier to explain to my therapist). I am homoromantic- that much I am certain of.... in terms of sex- I do seem to experience sexual attraction but not very often- like every few months or so. I physically feel sexual sensations, but I would much rather masturbate than have sex. I do fantasize- I like the idea of certain sexual situations, and very occasionally they can be base around a person and I will masturbate to that idea, but most of the time I masturbate to the idea of certain sexual acts or feelings, rather than a set person. Also the situations I masturbate to, I probably wouldn't want to do in 'real life'. Most of the time, I just feel indifferent to sex... especially with a partner... I really love being close to my girlfriend, hugging and kissing etc, and I find her really beautiful, but I wouldn't usually look at her (or anyone) naked and feel sexual feelings or want to have sex with her etc... I generally just find I get bored quite easily with sex, and can't stay focused. And like I said I can and will occasionally feel the desire to have sex with my girlfriend, it's just not very often at all. I feel the idea of 'does not usually experience sexual attraction, but can experience it sometimes' part of the gray-a definition fits... but I was just wondering if someone more knowledgeable of this area could help me out as I have only ever spoken about my feelings in detail with one close friend, and there was no need to label as she is very similar in her feelings. Thanks, - DandelionFairy Link to post Share on other sites
an18059 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 It sounds like you could very well be grey-a, as you said you only experience sexual attraction from time to time. Although obviously only you can label yourself. Feeling sexual sensations, masturbating and fantasising about sexual situations don't really have anything to do with your orientation. It's just about who you feel sexual attraction to - which, in the case of a grey-a, is next to nobody. Anyway, welcome to AVEN! ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Archon Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I think gray-a fits very well with how you describe yourself since you only experience sexual attraction occasionally. Like alleor said though only you can choose how you identify. Welcome to AVEN Link to post Share on other sites
Absol Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Hi DandelionFairy, welcome to AVEN! :cake: Obviously only you can choose your label, but based on your story, I would agree with alleor and Archon that grey-a seems to describe your situation quite well. I guess I'm not really adding much here, but oh well :P Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Burstsexual: sexual attraction coming in random bursts But that's a new term so most ppl who are that probably still go by the umbrella term Gray-A/Gray-Asexual. (The Gray area is starting to label more of its types; thus the new term) Sexual arousal can be because of hormones or the suggestion of of sexual pleasure (which makes your parts react with "hit me too"), and not always due to sexual attraction which is aimed at a specific person. Some asexuals masturbate and some don't. Masturbatory habits do not denote one's sexuality. (i.e. gay porn does not make a straight person bi) Link to post Share on other sites
DandelionFairy Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Thank you all for your help and welcomes :) It has really helped me. I look forward to getting to know you all around the forums :) Link to post Share on other sites
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