GenyJ101 Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Hi. i am new to this forum and am not sure if i am doing it right so if I'm doing it wrong any help would be appreciated. first of I'm not sure if I'm asexual. at first i thought my aversion to sex was just because I'm a virgin and have not had it. but i went on my first date a few months ago, (I'm 19) and i felt nothing. well not nothing i was excited that for the first time someone had asked me out but other than that. it was really awkward. i felt nothing when he kissed me, and i was grossed out and angry when he touched me. i almost smacked him. at first i thought i was just upset over the way he had treated me but i thought about it some more. i have never had a crush and i don't find either gender particularly attractive. i am a girl by the way. anyway, i've read about it and it just seems messy and gross, and I'm not into losing control like that. is that asexual? or am i in some weird phase? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chikane-Chan Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Hey there Geny, welcome to AVEN Well first things first nobody can tell you if your asexual or not, its just like any other label out there, only you can choose if it fits you or not. But reading your post it does sound like you could possibly be ace, since asexaulity is defined as the lack of sexual attraction or the lack of desire for partnered sex. I am sure others might be more helpful than me, hope you find your answers here and well once again welcome. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GenyJ101 Posted April 18, 2015 Author Share Posted April 18, 2015 thanks. i've thought about sexuality over the years but could never really find one that fits and then i stopped caring until recently. so but now it seems like an important aspect to consider. anyway thanks for commenting. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RedOwl Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 As Kage-chan said, only you can ultimately decide if you are asexual or not. It's not a decision you need to take soon or that it's definitive. It's okay to change your mind along the way, people change and so do our bodies, our needs and desires. I think the first thing you need to think about is if you feel repulsed because of the things he did or because it was him doing them. Maybe you just didn't like that guy? If it's a general feeling, like you wouldn't want to be touched by anyone, or basically you don't feel attracted to anyone, then you may consider being asexual. Just stay with us for a while, read other people's stories and see if you feel identified with them, I have found that is the best way to make up your mind. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
an18059 Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Hi, welcome to AVEN :) If you've never experienced sexual attraction to anyone, especially since you're 19 and have (presumably) already finished puberty, then you might want to identify as asexual. Also, if you have never had a crush on anyone (experienced romantic attraction) then you could also be aromantic. However, as others have said, these are decisions only you can make. There's no rush to label yourself if you're not sure yet. I know it took me months to come to a conclusion as to what my orientation is - and I'm still not entirely sure! It's important to keep in mind that sexuality is a spectrum, and there are many other different types of attraction that humans are capable of experiencing. Good luck! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GenyJ101 Posted April 18, 2015 Author Share Posted April 18, 2015 thank you all this is all very helpful. :) i have a feeling its going to be a bit of a journey. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
an18059 Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 thank you all this is all very helpful. :) i have a feeling its going to be a bit of a journey. No problem :) And yep, you're in for the long-haul, but I'm sure you'll get there in the end. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace of Cakes Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Totally agree with what the others have said. My story is a bit similar to yours and I've come to find that I'm ace and demiromantic. Good luck on your journey :) Know that we're always here if you need a helping hand along the way or just if you need some cake ;) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 You could be asexual, but what you described is more likely aromantic. Though not everyone developes romantic attraction instantaneously; others require a bond, and that required bond can differ by person. It's called Demiromantic, and its sexual equivalent is Demisexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AnActualAngel Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 You could be ace, even though it sounds more like you could be aromantic to me, but as the others said, in the end only you can tell if you are any of that :) anyway good luck on you self-exploration journey :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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